What Do You Want From Me?
by Anti-social-psyche
Summary: These eight people love each other but they'll all soon find out that there's a very thin line between love and hate when hurtful secrets are kept amongst each other. Eight different points of views...throw in a little sex, betrayal, and lies and you've got yourself a story. Rated m for adult themes
1. Eddie and Bells

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><p><strong>CHAPTER 1:<strong>

**~BELLA AND EDWARD~**

BELLA POV

Tonight is a party night. It's actually sort of a Forks' High tradition for Emmett and Edward Cullen to throw a "back to school" party the weekend before summer break ends. No one in their right mind misses any party thrown by the Cullen brothers. They're the most well renowned party throwers in this entire town.

Because we all know what to expect at a Cullen party...

There will be scandals...

There will be hookups...

There will be fights...

And I'm pretty sure the cops will be called before the night expires...

Rosalie, Alice, and I arrive at the club some time near midnight. I don't exactly know what time we get there because Alice had been assigned the designated driver for the night. So Rose and I took it upon ourselves to piss her off by getting tipsy before we even stepped into the club.

That's right...

Edward and Emmett Cullen have more than enough money to rent out an entire club on one of the busiest days of the weeks. Their father is a top of the line neuron-surgeon and their mother is a well known interior designer. Their family holds one the wealthiest names in the state of Washington alone, but the best thing about the Cullen's is that even though their pockets are always loaded they never let their financial circumstances go to their heads.

That's not saying that the Cullen boys aren't extremely cocky...

The girls and I try to ease our way through the hordes of swaying bodies that are occupying the dance floor without getting trampled over. We meander our way through the crowded floor and end up towards the drink bar where the boys said they'd meet us. The club isn't supposed to be serving alcoholic drinks tonight because none of us are actually legally able to drink, but I've learned that you can make a lot of things go your way with the right amount of money.

"Hello boys." I give Edward and Jacob one armed hugs and smile "Where are my other boys?

"They got tired of waiting for you so they went to find some girls to screw."

"Pigs." My gaze lifts towards the ceiling as I roll my eyes. "They really need to learn how to control their hormones."

"Are you upset because Jasper didn't wait for you?" Edward raises his eyebrows playfully while he pours another round of shots.

I make a scoffing sound at his assumption. Though it may or may not be true. "Dimples I could care less about Jasper or the whores that he likes to indulge on. He is quite possibly the most pretentious human being to ever walk this earth."

"Am I?" A smooth voice says from behind me. I turn around just in time to meet Jasper's dark gaze. His blue-black eyes are darkened from the dimness of the club, but I can still see the hint of mischief glittering across them. He seems amused with my insult, a smile small twitches onto his lips. "You wound me."

"Yes you are." I do not hesitate to give him attitude. Jasper grates on my nerves and he knows he does.

"But you still love me right?" He opens his arms, inviting me in for a hug. His expression is laconic, his body language is suggestive. "You know you love me Princess."

I roll my eyes again but I don't try to hide the smile that stretches onto my mouth. I love Jasper and he knows this. He wraps a lazy arm around my waist, pulls me to him, and presses a soft kiss to my cheek.

"Are you ready to get wasted?" He asks naughtily, handing me one of the shots on the counter. "I love when you let crazy Bella out to play."

Before I know it I'm on the dance floor with Rosalie, then I am back at the bar downing continuous shots of vodka, then Alice is holding my hair back in the restroom, then I'm making out with Lauren Mallory, and then I don't know anything at all anymore.

I dread the hangover that I'll have in the morning.

Everyone loves Edward Cullen's party for a reason...

~~~~WDYWFM

When I wake up I am disoriented. My vision is blurred and my reaction time is slow. I'm fucking hung-over and my head feels like it's about to fucking explode. I sit up to take in my surroundings. I am not in the club anymore...

That much is obvious.

Jacob is snoring and passed out against the wall, James is hanging off of the couch across from me, and Alice's tiny frame is sprawled out across the floor.

This is when I realize that I'm at the boy's house.

I carefully step over her and tip-toe up the stairs to see if anyone else is awake. Edward and Rosalie are both asleep in his bed. I'm a little suspicious as to how it happened. I know for a fact that alcohol will make you do a lot of crazy things but I don't like the thought of what could have happened in his bed last night.

I find Emmett's silly ass knocked out in the third floor hallway and Jasper sleeping alone is his bed. I smirk to myself before pushing his door open. He's a light sleeper and the sound of the door scraping against the carpet is just enough to wake him up.

He sees me and he smiles softly, "Are you trying to sneak your way into my bed, Princess?"

Jasper and I have a love/hate relationship. It's not confusing at all. We like to get on eachother's nerves every chance we get and at the same time we are undeniably attracted to each other.

"Why would I have to sneak?" My eyebrows lift just a little, there's a small smile pulling at my lips. "You've wanted me in your bed since last night."

"I can't lie and deny that." I can see the lust glittering across his clouded, blue eyes. "I wanted to fuck you the minute I saw your little ass dancing out on the floor with Rosalie." Jasper's smile darkens when I take a step towards the bed.

"How about we play a game?"

"A game?" He asks, his voice is laconic but the interest in his tone contradicts it. "What kind of game?"

"You have to tell me something about myself. For everything that is true I'll take a step towards your bed."

"And if I get something wrong?" We both know that he won't. Jasper and I have known each other since fourth grade. I can't even remember my life when he wasn't a part of it. We know almost everything about each other.

"I'll take a step backwards. If I make it to the bed you win and if I make it to the door you lose."

"What do I get if I win?" The corner of his lip twitches but he does not smile. "Every winner gets a prize right?"

"Of course they do. I'm sure we can think of some type of prize for you...if you win."

"Okay, shall we begin then Princess?"

We both know what his prize is going to be when he wins, but I am glad that he decides to play along with me anyway. I nod my head and smile. I know that Jasper is going to say some off the wall stuff.

"You're a sex freak." He says this knowingly. He should know. He's the one who turned me into a sex freak. "You love sex."

I take a baby step forward.

"Your favorite position is doggy-style." His smile is contagious and I can't help but chuckling. I take another step forward.

"You're wet right now." His voice is loaded with lust. He watches me with a satisfied smile as I take a step forward.

"You want my dick right now." I take another step forward and now I'm about one more step away from his bed.

"You've never seen a dick bigger than mine." I chuckle and step backwards. Jasper's nowhere near small but he isn't the biggest I've seen so far.

"Not the biggest, just the best."

"Ooh that wounds my ego." Jasper's voice is mock-insulted. But he doesn't trip because he knows that he's packing. "You don't like to swallow but you like it when a dude cums on your tits."

Jasper knows all of my sexual preferences. He's one of the only guys I've actually ever had sex with. He's the one who helped me set most of those preferences. I take a step forward and I'm one step away from his bed again. He's one step away from winning a prize. I'm one step away from quitting this game and hopping on his bed to have my way with him.

"Last but not least." Jasper's playful glint softens and for I second I think he's going to say something very meaningful. "If you could fuck any celebrity in the world it would be that douche Jackson Rathbone."

I laugh at the expression on his face he's daring me to disagree. Jasper doesn't like Jackson Rathbone because everyone always says that they'd look almost like twins if Jasper's hair wasn't curly and blonde. Jasper lifts his covers as an invitation to his bed. He knows he's won the game and he knows he's getting a prize.

"Come on pretty Bella." I lay down with my back against his chest. His strong arms wrap around my torso and pull me flush against him. He is warm and comfortable. "You know after the first few drinks I didn't see much of you at the party last night." His lips are at my ear, his voice is soft and seductive. Jasper is a master at what he does. He can have just about any girl that he wants in his bed and it's sad that I'm not even an exception anymore.

"Did you miss me?" I whisper playfully. His lips make a trail down the side of my neck before coming back up to my ear. When he speaks again his voice is huskier than before.

"You know I did, Princess." I smile and turn on my right side so I can face him. His eyes are still dark with want but he still seems playful, there's a smile on his face as he watches me.

"Well in that case..." I touch his face gently, for a moment he closes his eyes and leans into my touch. Jasper isn't really big on affection and the reasoning why is totally his. It's pretty rare when he actually does accept someone's affection otherwise he'll just brush them off. Sometimes he's different with me than he is with other people. "Let's make up for the lost time."

The gentle affection doesn't last very long. His lips are on mine in an instant and his kiss is dominating. His tongue pushes into my mouth and I moan into his because he feels so good. I let my hands slide under his shirt, up his stomach. Everything on him is so warm and toned.

His shirt finally falls onto the floor and his chest is against mines. He's so warm that I can feel his body heat through the fabric my dress, which thinking about makes me want to get rid of it. As if he's reading my mind Jasper starts to make quick work of getting the dress off of me. It is tight and short but it is the kind of dress that doesn't need a bra and last night I just felt like going commando.

"God." he mumbles making a trail of butterfly kisses to my breast. "You're fucking perfect Bella." The tip of his tongue flickers over my nipple, sending chilling trembles down my spine. Despite the fact that he's warm against me.

I arch into him, wanting to feel more of him. All of him. I want to feel his tongue, his hands, his dick...

"Mmm...Jazz that feels good." My eyes fall close as I let my hands find the rim of his boxers. I tug them down just enough for him to kick them off and exile them to the floor like all of our other clothes.

He reaches over to his night stand and retrieves a condom from the drawer. "Wait." I put my hands to his chest to halt his movements.

He looks down at me curiously. He knows that I really don't want him to stop but he doesn't know why a sly little smile has taken place on my lips.

"I want to put it on you." I say this in the sexiest voice that little old Bella can possibly muster up. Jasper's lips lift into a smile. His hooded eyes darken just a little bit more. "Will you let me do that for you?"

He moves back a little so that I have more room to move my arms. I grab his dick into my hands shamelessly. I can feel him twitch inside of my small hands and I know that just the mere feeling of me squeezing him sends sensations throughout his body.

I slide my hand up his length and stroke him at an excruciatingly slow pace. There is pre-cum oozing out of his tip and despite the moans that he makes when I wrap my hand around him more tightly I can tell that he's getting impatient.

"You like fucking with me don't you Bella?" He knows that fucking with him is exactly what I love to do. His golden head falls to my shoulder, his curly hair tickles my face and his teeth bite into my shoulder. "Just put the fucking condom on me so I can fuck you."

I smirk because I just love getting under his skin. I like to fester there and irritate him, "You want me Jazz?" My hand movements speed up. I squeeze him harder as I continue to stroke him up and down. His dick is pulsing inside of my hand. He's going to be so pissed if he blows his load before he even gets inside of me.

I chuckle to myself when his breathing accelerates.

"Fuck yes Bella I want you...please, stop fucking with me...I'm gonna cum before I even get to feel you." I finally give in to him and roll the condom on him, but only because he said please and because I want to get laid.

He takes one of my legs and hooks it around his hip. He's rubbing his dick between my folds and it feels amazingly good because I'm so ready for him. He starts to push into me. He presses against me hard and uses my hips to push him in deeper.

He fills me to a hilt, stretching me. He's amazing, and lovely, and I love him so much.

"Fuck Jasper, that feels sooo...soo fucking...god, it feels good." My coherence has left the building.

He covers my lips with his own again, trying to muffle the volume of my moans, kissing the breath out of me. I'm pretty sure everyone is still comatose from all of the booze they ingested last night though..

"Fuck baby..." My eyes snap shut. I can feel his dick stretching me. "I feel it."

Jasper thrusts hard, rough. He presses into his movements with more force as he sees me reaching my peak. "Cum for me Bella." Jasper whispers against my lips.

"Milk my dick Princess." God, I love when he talks dirty... My body takes on a mind of its own as I feel my back arching off of the bed. I tighten around him and the sensation explodes something warm inside of me.

Jasper groans so softly into the crook of neck and his own orgasm surfaces. He cums inside of me, I can feel him filling the condom, inside of me.

It's so erotic and hot. It's the most spectacular thing I've ever felt. He kisses me...still thrusting and murmuring about how much he loves me, sex, and sex when it's with me. Yep, that's Jasper Whitlock for you...

EDWARD POV

"We're losing our freedom again boys."

Emmett chuckles at my detriment, exposing the bits of chewed up frosted flakes in his mouth. He slides the almost empty carton of milk down the counter to me with an amused shake of his head.

Jacob is watching television in the living room, Jasper is still in the shower, and James has opted to sleep in for a few more minutes. Which in James's convoluted language means that he's going to play hookie on our first day of school.

This year all of us are either starting twelfth grade or eleventh grade and we're all equally happy that we're almost out of school for good.

"Man you're lucky Em. This is your last year." I sit down to my bowl of cereal, a frown claiming the expression on my face. "I still have a whole other year to finish."

"You can be like Jacob and get a 4.0 all year round. Then you'll graduate early."

"Not likely." Jasper bounds down the stairs with a smile on his face. He usually isn't a morning person, but he's still in a good mood from the little fun he had with Bella yesterday. "Don't get your hopes up high dude."

I flip him the bird while he finishes off the last of the orange juice. We're running out of food because Emmett and Jake stuff food down their throats like a garbage disposal. We don't usually do our grocery shopping anyways. The girls do most of the shopping for us in general. The only thing we do is give them the money to purchase the items.

"Just because the only thing you know how to do is fuck Bella doesn't mean everyone else has limited abilities too." Jasper smirks as he grabs the carton of milk from between my fingers.

"That's the only thing that I need to do. I could fuck her all day long for the rest of my life and I'd die a happy man." He frowns when he realizes the milk carton only has about a drop of milk left inside of it. "Who the fuck drank all of the milk?"

I laugh, shaking my head at the moron I that I unshamefully claim as my best friend. "You're a fool dude."

Since today is the first day of school the school doors open up earlier than usual. The principal wants us to find our lockers and all that shit before class starts.

I have to go to the office to get my class schedule because for some dumb ass reason they didn't send me one in the mail like everyone else.

"Edward." Mrs. Cope smiles at me suggestively. I cringe on the inside as I imagine the vile things she is probably thinking about doing to me. I am into older women. I'd fuck a hot cougar in a heartbeat but dear Mrs. Cope passed that mark twenty years ago. "Long time no see. How was your summer buddy?"

I take a few seconds to reminisce about my summer break.

Continuous Parties...

Continuous Sex...

Continuous Beer...

Continuous Drugs...

Enough said...

...

I look into Ms. Cope's dull brown eyes and return her polite smile. "It was actually pretty uneventful. I'm glad to back in school so I can get these last two years out of the way."

She hands me two sheets of paper. One of them is my class schedule and one of them is an attendance log. I have to get all of my teachers to sign off on it and I have to return it back at the end of the day because apparently I've been put on probation for skipping class so much.

"Edward!" I make my way over to where my friends stand chatting. Bella greets me with the usual hug and peck on the cheek. "First day of school! I'm so excited. We're finally juniors."

"Shh..." Alice puts her small fingers up to her lip playfully, "We can't talk about our trivial junior lives around these seniors. Next year we'll still be walking these halls and they'll be off at college."

"Actually we decided to wait until you kids graduate to start college. So we get one free year to bum around."

"Oh great Jasper." Bella rolls her eyes sarcastically, but we all know that she's pleased with the news. "Just when I thought I was getting rid of you."

"Princess, you'll never ever get rid of me."

I chuckle at them but inside of my head something quite different is going on. One minute they're hot for each other and then the next minute they're trying to irritate each other to death. I wish that they'd just go out already and save everyone else the headache.

"Hey." Jacob says as he studies his schedule. "Does anyone have Mr. Melina for first hour math?"

Jake is a smart eleventh grader. He is definitely one of the smartest kids I know. When we aren't partying or kicking it (Which is rare) he is always studying, reading, or doing something constructive to keep his skills up to date. He isn't as fortunate as me to have come from a wealthy upbringing so his only chance at getting into college and getting away from Fork's is by acquiring a full academic scholarship.

I look down at my schedule to check and smile when I see: 1st hour - Mr. Melina.

I can proudly say that I am pretty smart myself. My best subjects are in fact math and science. I am fine with having classes without my friends because I'm the kind of person that can just walk up and talk to anyone, but this school has three buildings. So if none of us have any classes together we probably won't see each other until lunch and that is probably the only time we'd see each other during the day.

"I do." I reply, bumping fists with Jacob and smiling. "Emmett had him last year. I hear he's a real pain in the ass."

"That's not fair." Alice pouts and crosses her arms over her chest. "You get Jacob and I get stuck with this horny fool."

"I love you too Ally." Jasper replies, whilst studying his schedule. Alice frowns playfully and mutters a quick, "Bite me."

Jasper meets Alice with those blue eyes of his that make the girls swoon. A wry smile crosses his face as he takes her hand and places a lingering kiss on her palm. "Only if you promise to bite me back, Tinkerbell."

"Pig." Bella mumbles with a stinky, green eye.

She is borderline possessive when it comes to Jasper. Even though they aren't committed to each other she likes to keep him to herself which is almost impossible because Jasper really is indeed a horny fool. He doesn't discriminate when it comes to pussy and Bella is definitely not the only girl that he's having sex with.

I'm not saying that he couldn't possibly have some feelings for her, but if he does they aren't deep or profound enough to make him want a serious relationship with her. Bella is wasting her time but she won't listen to any of us when we tell her that.

Personally, I think that Jasper is a damn dumb ass and he'll be even stupider if he ever decides to choose someone over Bella.

"Don't be jealous Princess." His lips quirk slyly as he regards her with that never ending playfulness of his. "You know if I had to choose it'd be you."

"Smooth Jazz." I pat his back as I move past him.

The first bell rings and Jake and I have to go to building two where the math, science, social studies, and language art classes are held. Building three holds the elective classes like home economics and wood shop, and building one just holds the cafeteria, gym, library, and office.

On the way over to class Jake and I stop to talk to some of our friends who compliment me on my party from Saturday. Jacob invites some girls over to hang out after school which really means he wants to get in their pants...

When we finally get into our classroom we take strategic seats in the back of the class room and we start talking about the random shit we always talk about.

The first day of school is typically always the same. The teachers explain the rules and expectations to us as if we have forgotten them from last year, and then they treat us like kindergartners and make us stand to introduce ourselves.

When it is my turn for my intro I flash Mr. Melina a cheesy smile. Oh, we have had some really good times together him and I.

Those times were last year and they always included him catching me skipping class, fucking in the janitor's closet, or sleeping in my car. It is safe to say that my charm and wit doesn't sway him like it does to everyone else.

"Most of you already know me." I only see a handful of new faces as I survey the room, but first impressions are still the most important and I want to make mines note worthy. "But for those who don't know me, my name is Edward-Anthony Cullen. Just call me Edward, but never call me Eddie because it's kind of gay sounding."

Mr. Melina rolls his eyes when he hears a few chuckles sounding throughout the quiet room.

"My dad is a very rich doctor. He practically runs the general hospital down town. He bought me and my brother Emmett our own house for Em's eighteenth birthday and we throw awesome parties every weekend. You guys should totally ask around my back to school party was freaking epic!"

Everyone always seems to like me. I guess it's just because I'm a very likable person. I'm smart, funny, nice, polite, and I'm damn sure not bad to look at. Our third period class comes after our first period class. Our school alternates between even and odd days.

On odd days like today we have first, third, fifth and seventh period classes and on even days we have second, fourth, sixth, and eight period. Every class is like an hour and a half hour long, and that my friend is what makes school monotonous for me.

I am like a kid inside. I can barely sit through a movie for ten minutes. Imagine how hard it is for me to sit still in a desk for almost two hours. Luckily I share my first two classes with Jacob's smart ass and lunch comes right on time.

I stop at the snack machine to get myself some chips and a soda because I don't eat cafeteria food. The stuff they serve here is about as edible as the food Rosalie tried to prepare for us last Christmas and trust me that stuff was pretty inedible.I almost died eating that shit that she tried to pass off as food. After living for seventeen years I would have wanted to go out in a more dignifying way than choking on dry corn bread.

I find the table where Rose and Bella are seated. We always sit in the same spot every year. It's the table in the center of the room. Close to the lunch line and far away from the stinking trash cans.

"My gorgeous ladies." I give them a gallant bow, before taking my seat beside Rosalie. "How do you do?"

"Oh Dimples." Bella's dark eyes regard me with affection, "Why can't more boys be chivalrous like you?"

"Because I'm one of a kind love." I wink at her playfully. Bella and I have a weird relationship. We are extremely close and open with each other. We were actually the original two best friends that started this whole group.

We have known each other since we were in diapers and we grew up together. We went through that crush stage when we did all of that "first time stuff" with each other. I popped her cherry on her fourteenth birthday, I beat the shit out of her first real boyfriend when I saw him smack another girl's ass, and once when we were really drunk I promised her that one day she'd be my wife.

It's safe to say that we have mixed feelings for each other but unlike her and Jasper our relationship remains entirely platonic. If we ever get involved with each other it will get too messy. I know it'll complicate things way more than if she just went out with Jasper. So it's always easy for me to repress my hidden feelings for her. It's just a wonder that no one else but her has picked up on them.

"Dude, we totally have to go see that new Scream movie." Jasper plops down in the seat beside mines with Emmett and Jacob trailing close behind. Alice is the last one to join us and she brings Jessica Stanley and Lauren Mallory along. (They aren't exclusively in the group but they hang out with sometimes.)

"No can do." Bella says with a short smile, her eyes brighten just a little. "Mrs. Cullen is having us over for dinner tonight."

Bella and I lived next door to each other our whole lives until my father got Emmett and I our house last year. Bella still lives next door to my parents so when my mom wants us over she tells Bella and Bella tells us.

"Well what about tomorrow then?" Jasper seems really anxious. He loves scary movies but everyone knows that Scream is a total joke. Bella lifts her shoulders and shrugs.

"Tomorrow is good. Everyone in?" We all simultaneously agree to go to the movies tomorrow. We do almost everything together but that doesn't mean that we don't get tired of each other sometimes. We work almost in the same way that a family works. We're all like brothers and sisters who sometimes hookup with each other on random occasions.

Lunch comes to an uneventful end but I didn't expect anything too exciting to happen anyway. This is Fork's High school for crying out loud. Nothing exciting ever happens here unless we're the ones to cause it.

My fifth period class is biology and Bella shares this class with me. We walk to this class together with one of Bella's former cheerleader friends tagging along. Bella quit the squad last year when some douche bag named Laurent threw her in the air and was too preoccupied with what was under her skirt to catch her. Bella broke a few bones in her leg and Emmett and I broke a few bones in Laurent's face.

His nose will probably never be the same...

That's what happens when you fuck around with one of us...

Bella and I choose seats in the back of the room and begin to chat while we wait for class to begin.

"You know." Bella says in a suggestive tone. She is looking at me with a wry smile. "I think Tanya has the hots for you."

At first I have to strain to my brain to remember who Tanya is and then I feel like a dumb ass when I realize it is the girl who we were just walking with. I glance across the room to appreciate her again. She is your typical cheerleader pretty. Her hair is long and strawberry blond, her eyes are bright blue, and her tits are significantly huge in that porn star type of way.

"Don't you think she's cute Dimples?"

I grin widely at my accustomed nick name. It started with my mother because she used to think that it was cute that I only had dimples in my left cheek unlike Emmett who had them in both of his cheeks. When Bella was little she used to call me Dimples and I guess she never really grew out of it...but mind you, she is the only person who can call me 'Dimples'. Jacob tried to call me Dimples once as part of a joke and he barely got out of the room with all of his teeth intact.

"Yes Isabella, I think she's hot and I'd totally screw her brains out in the back seat of my car."

"Your car?" Bella chuckles lightly, her eyes are lilting. She is beautiful. "Can't she at least have the bed?"

"My bed is reserved." Bella sees the seriousness through the playfulness in my demeanor and she frowns a little. She doesn't like to admit it often but she likes me a whole lot more than she openly displays.

"Who is it reserved for? Rosalie?" And she also doesn't like to admit that she has a slight jealousy problem. "I know you two fucked. She told me this morning."

"You're keeping tabs on me now?" My grin widens into a full blown smile and Bella scowls at me.

"Don't flatter yourself Dimples. Miss Rosalie was the one who thought it fit to blab every content of your sex life to me." Bella huffs like a child her scowl is a full blown frown now. "And she described every single detail. You didn't give me a massage that time we had sex."

I blow out an exasperated burst of air, my brows are furrowed with irritation but I am still amused. "Isabella I was only fourteen when we had sex, I was just seeing boobs up close and personal for the first time, It only lasted for five measly minutes, and you kept whining and crying about how much it hurt. It's safe to say that I was much too preoccupied to think about massaging anything at the time."

Bella laughs to herself lightly, shaking away the horrible memories of that awkward night. Neither one of us really knew what was happening or what we were supposed to be doing to make the whole sex thing work. I probably spent three of those five minutes humping her thigh before I actually got it inside of her and she was crying and thrashing like I was impaling her with a metal pole or something.

"I have to say Dimples that you were the worst fuck I've ever had."

"Hey." I exclaim offensively, now it is my turn to scowl at her. "I'll have you know that I've drastically improved since then. That was three years ago Bells."

Bella scoffs at me. She's brushing me off because she knows that it's going to get under my skin. I know Bella and the one thing that Bella absolutely loves is getting under someone's skin.

The next thing I say is just to spite her, and I know her reaction will be funny. "If you don't believe me just ask Rosalie."

Bella huffs before narrowing her big brown eyes. "What is it with you two anyway? Are you just fucking or are you trying to become a couple or something? Just tell me now so I won't be surprised and throw a fit if something unexpected happens."

Truthfully, I don't know how Rosalie feels about everything that went down between us. We were both drunk at the time and we let one thing lead to another. It didn't mean anything to me but that doesn't mean that Rosalie isn't a likable person.

I'd never really considered her in that way before now. If she wants something more between us I wouldn't be entirely opposed to the idea. In fact, my feelings for Bella will probably all but disappear if I have Rosalie to distract me. And maybe it'll give Jasper some inspiration to give Bella what she really deserves.

I guess it's only one way to find out then...

...

...

...


	2. Jazz and Rose

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**We've changed a lot of things in this story.**

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><p><strong>CHAPTER 2:<strong>

**~JASPER AND ROSALIE~**

**JASPER POV**

I have always been very aware of my surroundings but growing up as a child I had to be. I didn't come from a home that served hot, home cooked meals for dinner every night. My mother didn't tuck me into my bed with night-night stories or promises of good dreams, and my father wasn't interested in teaching me how to ride a bike or how to be a man.

My parents were undercover junkies, the worst kinds of addicts. Because on the outside they appeared to be normal people. They went to work and made their money so that they could come home and inject heroin into their bodies. They were in love with being high. Your heart is small which means that if you're in love with something there's no room left to love anything else.

Both of my parents were in love with that bitch named heroin and as a result they hated each other immensely.

My dad was an abuser of more than one substance. He abused the drugs he consumed, the alcohol he digested, the trust of his family, and the strength he had over us. My mother was a wimp and an enabler, she allowed my father to hit her infront of her children and to degrade her like she was nothing. She hated her life but my father was her only way to get that fix.

Since my mother was incapable I had to be aware of the little things around me so that I'd be able to protect her and little sister. When the car in the driveway was parked crookedly, carelessly, that meant he was home and craving his addiction, when whiskey bottles were scattered all across the living room floor that meant trouble was coming, when he sat silently that meant he was brewing up to explode, and when he was brewing up to explode that meant pain, sacrifices, and bruises...

I'm really not as unattentive and carefree as every one thinks I am. Just because I play around a lot doesn't mean that I don't notice the things going on around me. In fact, I tend the notice stuff a lot more than most people do.

I think I just may have some kind of sixth sense or something. Sometimes I swear I know exactly what someone is feeling. I sort of feel like that if I focus hard enough I can actually feel what they're feeling...but i'm high and drunk most of the time so what the hell do I really know?

Oh yeah, I know that Edward likes Bella a whole lot more than he is willing to show and I know that Bella secretly likes the fact that she has Edward wrapped around her little fingers. It's a simple case of unrequited love between two lifelong best friends except the fact that it's not quite so unrequited if you really pay attention. Sometimes I see the way Edward and Bella interact with each other and I can't help but to think to myself that they're exactly what love is supposed to look like. He's effortlessly happy around her, his smiles are high and lilting, and Bella never ever stops glowing. They're radiant and beautiful and perfect...

But Bella is unexclusively mines. She loves me and she wants to be in love with me. But like I said, the heart is a small vessel and Bella doesn't have anymore room for me because she's already in love with Edward. I'm kind of glad that she isn't in love with me though...because I would never be able to return the feeling. I'm incapable of loving.

Edward and Bella aren't the only people I pay attention to in our group. I've watched everyone from time to time and I know just about everyone's secret.

I know that Rosalie has a slight crush on Edward which is really fucked up because Emmett has the hots for her. Emmett has always come in second best to his little brother. Where he has the muscle and athletic abilities, Edward has the brains and charisma. Their father has always favored the one whose going to follow in his footsteps and their mother has always praised her darling little boy. Emmett loves his little brother and I know he'd do almost anything for him, but when I watch him watching his brother I can't help but see the jealousy that glitters across his eyes from time to time. If there was one thing that Emmett would want to have in this world it would be Rosalie but Edward has taken that from him and Edward doesn't even know it.

I know that Jacob has been in love with Bella since second grade but this is nowhere near as promising as Edward's case. Jacob will only always be the big brother figure to Bella. He's the one she's going to confide in whenever her boyfriend does something to piss her off and she won't even know that she's ripping his poor heart apart. But Jacob will always be there for her because when you love someone you'll do anything for them even if that means putting yourself through misery. Sometimes you love someone so damned much that it hurts but if it didn't hurt every once in awhile it wouldn't even be worth it would it?

I know that Tinkerbell has some real self-esteem issues. I see those pale, horizontal scars across her little wrists when she actually decides to wear a short sleeved shirt. I watch how guilty she looks when she's enjoying a nice home cooked meal or a hot baked dessert and when she excuses herself to the bathroom like no one ever notices. She compares herself to how beautiful Bella is and how statuesque Rosalie is and she feels horrified that she's so small and petite because she doesn't have a mom and dad at home to tell her how stunning she really is. She lives with her aunt and her aunt's five little kids so she thinks no one takes the time to observe her. She's wrong.

I know that James has way more potential than he outwardly appears to possess. He does hard drugs and stays intoxicated to get away from the demons inside of his head. His family is much like the Cullens and when I say that I mean that they're practically rich. But he's not a golden boy like Edward and he's not an athlete like Emmett. He's an only child and he became a failure at a very young age. Self-doubt has been shoved down his throat ever since he was old enough to walk. Depression and self-criticism eats him alive and the only way he can keep himself from going completely insane is by acting like he's completely normal. The only way he can act normal is by making sure he's high from the minute he wakes up to the minute he falls asleep at night. I notice sometimes when his smiles don't reach his eyes and he's only pretending to be happy so he won't have to explain to everyone what's wrong with him. I see him trying with all his strength to hold himself together because if he let go for a second, his little carefree facade would fall apart.

We all have secrets to keep. I know it's fucking messy but that's how I fucking like it...

"Hey Jazzy-Wazzy." I look down to see Alice standing before me. Her blue eyes are the color of an unpoluted sky, and her lips are quirked into a little, pixie smile. She's so beautiful that it's hard to believe she doesn't see it herself. "What's going on in that pretty blond head of yours?"

Emmett, Alice, Rose, and I are all standing in the parkinglot beside Emmett's monster jeep. The school day is finally over and we are waiting for the others to arrive.

"In my head?" I am deliberately and outgoing person, but only so people won't question my thoughts. I give information, just enough so people won't worry about the things I don't say aloud. I smile and shrug my shoulders instead of telling Alice what's really going on in my mind. "I was just wondering how much steroids I'd have to take before I get buff enough to join Em and Jake on the football team."

They're not the only ones who can wears masks...

I am the one who knows the secrets...

Emmett flexes his muscles and kisses his biceps arrogantly. Those dimples and muscles of his are gifts. One flash of those things in the right direction and he'll have a ton of girls thinking he's that douche Kellan Lutz or something.

Alice frowns her pixie face at me, though there is amusement somewhere in her voice. "Ew Jazzy-Wazzy." She shakes her spike filled head playfully. "If you become buff you won't be pretty anymore."

"Oh Ally, Don't worry..." Emmett bats his eyelashes at me, suceeding in making himself look like a queer. "Jazz will always be dreamy."

I flip Emmett the bird and chuckle.

"Dreamy?" Bella asks as she skips up to us, I see that bitchy expression on her face and know that she's about to fuck with me.

I see Edward and Jacob leaving the building together behind her. They came an extremely long way friendship wise and that my friend is a huge understatement.

Back in the day, which was probably only about a decade ago, Edward and Jacob loathed each other's guts. It was about the time we started second grade when they went to war on each other during afternoon recess. Edward "accidentally" threw a dodge ball at Jake's face and then Jacob "accidentally" tackled him into the sandpit. I was one of the innocent bystanders who witnessed the whole ordeal but you can ask anybody who saw it...the whole thing happened so fast that nobody could really determine who'd won the fight. Edward came out of the pit with a busted lip and Jake came out with a bleeding nose.

They never really even clarified why they'd hated each other so much back then, but I have a sneaking suspicion that they were in a rivalry over dear Isabella's heart. I guess they squashed the beef when they both came to realize that they'd been fighting the wrong person the whole time. She ended choosing neither one of them.

"Jasper Whitlock isn't what I'd call dreamy Alice." Bella snickers at me because she just likes being a bitch. "Dreamy is gentle, nice, desirable, and extremely good-looking." She makes sure to sneer when she looks me up and down, her lip is curled in mock-disgust. "He's rough, rude, and cocky."

"You weren't complaining when you were moaning my name Princess." I smirk widely as I watch her opaque cheeks tint a bright red. She crosses her arms over her chest and huffs. Bella's emotions are way too honest. It cracks me up every single time.

"Whatever." Her chocolate eyes roll upwards, her sarcasm is forced. "I invented the fake orgasm."

Nobody believes a goddamned word she says. We all laugh at her immature stature and bogus lying.

"Bella, save us all the amusement okay? You're totally the worse liar ever. Everyone knows you're addicted to my dick."

"So dinner?" Emmett says changing the subject and rubbing his hungry stomach. Bella better be glad that he intervened because he ultimately saved her ass from some embarassment. I want to bring up how much she was begging for my dick Sunday morning just to spite her, but I swear we haven't had a real home cooked meal in ages. Most of the time we are reduced to eating stale take-out or burgers from the fast food joint down the street.

Jacob and Emmett consume food like starving dogs and when we're high we practically attack each other over the food in our house.

"Yeah." Edward and Jake have joined the semi-circle that we've made around Emmett's jeep, Rosalie's BMW, and Edward's volvo.

If the school parkinglot had a section for ridiculously ostentatious cars. There would only be three cars parked there...

Enough said...

"Bella said mom wants us there at six."

We don't have quite a lot of time to go home and relax. We get out of school at two-thirty and the Cullen's live a little out of the ways. With a house full of five boys we always have to start getting ready like two hours before we're going to do something.

We leave the house at around five o clock and by time we get to the Cullen's house it's almost six. Bella is already there and she is helping Esme when we step into the kitchen.

"Hello mom." Esme smiles so wide that I think her lips are going to coil and spring right off of that pretty little face of hers. She is one of those extremely affectionate mothers and she's proud of it.

"Eddie!" She drops the dish towel in her hands and throw her arms around him. She starts peppering kisses across his face. I'm little disappointed because when he finally prys her lips off of him there are no lipstick marks on his cheeks. She usually leaves lip print stains and I usually taunt the hell out of him for being such a pansy-ass momma's boy.

"Emmy-bear!" She attempts to wrap her arm around Emmett's burly frame, but she probably can't even get a full grasp on his shoulder. He's bulky. I snicker at his childhood nickname and Esme gives me a playful glare. "Now don't think you aren't getting any of my special loving Jazzy-wazzy."

I come from a troubled house-hold. My mother and father were together all of my life but they were never parents to me. I cannot recall the last time my mother wrapped her arms around me or just simply kissed my cheek.

Esme is as much of my mother as she is Edward's mother. The Cullen's house was my home away from home when I was growing up. My mother and father still live together. In fact, I think my mom is expecting a third child soon. I don't really associate with them anymore because they're both some fucking lunatics.

I just hope that they're more stable now. I wouldn't want my little siblings growing up with the same violent childhood I was forced to live through. My little sister Jane is fourteen years old now and I try to get her away from the house as much as I can.

"Mmm...it smells good in here!" Rosalie calls from the foyer. She and Alice are just arriving. "Momma Esme...I think there's going to be some good eating in here today!"

Esme chuckles, her body is full of life. She loves being surrounded by people. She has such a good heart which is probably why Emmett and Edward are good people. "Dinner is just about done."

"What are we having?" I ask, coming behind her and peering into the pot that is simmering on the stove. She grabs hold of my hand and squeezes my fingers lightly. I love this type of motherly affection. I totally eat up all the attention she gives me.

"I have a braised pork loin and honey rolls coming out of the oven and the spaghetti is just coming off of the stove."

"Mom." I say skeptically. Her whole face always brightens when I acknolwege her like this. I've been calling Esme my mom since I was about nine years old and she'd always tell people that she had three sons instead of two. She makes me feel loved and that's something that my birth mother didn't do. "That doesn't look like spaghetti to me."

"It is Jasper. I just made it with fettuccine noodles. My secret recipe." One thing on the never-ending list of things that Esme Cullen does well is cooking. She can cook her fucking ass off like it's nobody's business.

The Cullens always ate the best home-cooked meals. When we were kids Esme would have dinner ready to be served for us at five every evening. We'd sit at the table and hold each other's hand for prayer, and then we'd eat and tell each other about how our day went. She always listened to every little thing that we had to say. I loved growing up with the Cullens because I loved feeling like I had a family.

"So..." Esme starts, when we're all seated around the table in her large dining-room. "How have you boys been? It's almost been two years since you've been living on your own. I wish you wouldn't have left me so early. You're all still just babies yourselves."

"We're great mom. We pay all of our bills on time and we go grocerry shopping every week." Edward doesn't like his mom worrying about us but he's lying through his fucking teeth right now, and I think that even Esme knows he's lying.

We're so irresponsible that it's not even funny. It's actually kind of ridiculous when you start to think about it. We always forget to pay our bills on time, we never actually pay them until something crucial like the electricity gets cut off, and we're always running out of food.

I'm probably going to have a heart disease when I get older from all of the salt I take in from eating McDonald's fries everyday.

"Now don't you fib Edward. You know I do all of your grocery shopping..." Bella frowns at him playfully, he's taking the credit for her hard work. "And I cook when ever I'm over there."

Edward covers his face with his hands and chuckles. I know he didn't think he was going to get away with that one. "Thanks a lot Bells."

Esme chuckles and it sounds so much like Edward's chuckle that it's almost freaky. He is the spitting image of her. They both have that weird bronzy-red colored hair, although Edward's hair is outrageously messy and Esme's is tamed in soft curls. He gets his emerald green eyes from his father Carlisle but every other facial feature that he has is almost identical to his mother's.

"Don't worry Edward. Bella's been taking care of you all these years. What makes you think she'll stop now? That's what girlfriends are for."

The table kind of goes quiet after that and it gets kind of awkward because no one wants to tell Esme that Bella is not Edward's girlfriend. I definitely don't wan't to tell her that I've actually been the one messing around with Bella for these past couple of years.

Esme has had this fucked up scenario in her head since Bella and Edward first met. She envisions them getting married and conceiving their first green-eyed baby girl during their honeymoon on the Isle of Esme.

"Actually." James says casually. He says whatever he wants to say because he's an asshole. I shouldn't have been surprised that he'd be the one to speak first. "Edward and Bella are not dating. Jasper and Bella sort of have something going on though."

Edward looks at his mom meekly...

Bella looks at me wryly...

Esme looks at James with warm brown eyes...

I sigh...

"So..." Alice says, attempting to diminish the awkwardness. "What's for dessert?"

The table couldn't have gotten any more uncomfortable.

**ROSALIE POV**

I don't really have anything to say about dinner except that I was glad when it was finally over. Esme thinks that Bella and Edward are meant to be with each other and she's always believed that. I wonder what she'd think if something were to ever amount out of what Bella and Jasper have going on or If something potentially happened between Edward and I.

We all insisted on helping Esme clean up the house when we were done eating. She tried to decline our offers but she gave in after she realized that we were going to keep bugging her until she said yes. She paired each of us up and gave us all different jobs to complete.

Somehow, I end up in the kitchen with Edward and we've been assigned to wash the dishes.

"You've probably never washed a dish in your life have you?" He raises his eyebrow with his question but he doesn't understand that normal children have chores. He's never had a chore because he was a spoiled, little momma's boy.

"I'm not spoiled Edward and I'm damn sure not rich like you." Edward's the one who acts like he's never washed a dish before. He doesn't even rinse the food-cached plates off as he places them inside of the dishwasher, and I have to keep reprimanding him everytime he forgets.

"Im not rich either Rosalie. If I was rich I wouldn't be living in this town of all places now would I?" Edward likes to be modest about his lucky financial circumstances, but sometimes it comes across as ungratefulness. Everyone who lives in Forks knows that the Cullen family has money coming out of the ass.

"You know you could leave Forks whenever you want to. Your father is sending you to fucking Darthmouth when you graduate highschool..." I shake my head as I look at him. It's over-whellming just thinking about how easy his life is going to be. "And he's paying for your tution out of his pocket. That's like thirty thousand dollars a year that he easily has. You do realize how lucky you are right?"

Edward rolls his dark, green eyes and hitches his shoulders in nochalance. People who come from money get so used to it that they don't know what it's like for us people who don't have money. If Edward's dad ever went bankrupt he'd think the world was a completely different place without all of the privellages that his daddy's credit card gets him.

"I'm grateful." He says lightly and I think he means it, but I also know that he takes his luck for granted. "I've always been grateful."

"It's funny how you can be grateful and still want more." I say calmly, I don't judge him or envy him. He's one of my best friends. I'm happy that his life is full of so much convienience. "You still want more don't you?"

A small smirk makes it's way across his lips, and his eyes brighten just a little bit. "I'll always want more but that's just human nature Rosalie. I'll never stop wanting more than I already have..."

His eyes are on mine and they're watching me with some kind of purposeful intent. I think he's just said something meaningful and he's waiting for me to let it sink in. When nothing strikes me he chuckles and shakes his head.

"I was trying not to be so straight-forward."

"Evasiveness was never your forte Edward." I feel a smile lifting my lips. "Tell me what you want more of."

It's funny how one little conversation can change absolutely everything. It's funny how one little word can turn everything upside down. "You."

"What?" I am confused for a couple of lingering moments, in which we both choose to stare at each other. What does he mean when he says he wants more of me? Does he want to date me or just screw around again? I'm kind of ashamed that I can't make myself be disappointed in either choices. "More of me?"

Yes, Edward and I had sex...

But we were under the influence of tequila and vodka and weed. That kind of stuff makes you do a lot of things that you wouldn't normally do. Not to say that I wouldn't totally screw Edward's brains out under normal circumstances, but that doesn't mean that he'd do the same to me.

"I mean...I know we've been friends for a long time but there could be something between us." His face has lost all hints of playfulness, this makes me nervous. I'm usually not shy around boys but this feels entirely different to what I am used to. Edward is my bestfriend not just some dude that wants to date me. "I don't want to jeopardize our friendship but I've already seen your boobs. Theres no going back from that."

I chuckle at his little side joke but not because it's funny. I am not amused. I am confused and my heart is beating wildly. Edward is serious about what he's saying and I'm seriously considering attacking him in Esme's pristine kitchen.

"I don't know what to say Edward." I really am at a total lost for words. I've never expected to hear these kinds of words coming from Edward's lips. I've never expected him to feel this way for me.

"Say that you'll go on one date with me to see if we have...chemistry or something." Edward has never been on a date in his life. He's just like Jasper, Jake, and Emmett in the way that they like chasing skirts. But I've always believed him to have the most potential at settling down.

"A date?" I shake my head, blond hair swirls around me, obscuring my view of him. I still don't know what to say. There still are no words on my tongue.

"Is that a no?" His voice is slightly suprised, his eyebrows are furrowed, and he's blushing a little. For as long as I've known Edward he's never blushed. That's kind of Bella's trademark but he's also never liked any girl enough to ask her on a date, and that makes me feel extremely giddy.

"No." I say quietly. I am not rejecting him as he'd thought. I am trying to make sense of what is happening.

"No?" He repeats in a way that indicates that I have made him just as confused as I am.

"No, it's not a no." I clarify. I look at his green eyes and get even more confused. We were only bestfriends before two days ago. How can one drunken night possibly change everything?

"So it's a yes then?" His voice is regaining it's hope. I don't think any girl has ever turned Edward Cullen down. He's just too sexy for that.

"No." I say again.

"So, you're saying no then?" Edward's eyebrows knit together in frustration and his voice is getting an impatient edge to it.

"No Edward! I'm not saying no, but I'm not saying yes either."

"Is it a maybe?" He's looking at me intently, his gaze is smoldering. "Please be a maybe."

"I don't know." I'm still so confused. I am scared at how much I really want to say yes and Rosalie Hale is never scared of anything.

"Rosalie it's a simple question which requires an even simpler answer." He's acting like this is all supposed to be so easy or something. "Do you not like me or something? You like someone else?"

That's ridiculous...

I've liked Edward since we were in seventh grade. He punched Eric Yorkie in the face when that creep thought it was okay to come up and cop a feel on my newly developed boobs and then he gave me the warmest hug I'd ever felt.

"Edward I like you but...I don't want things to get complicated."

I'm not just talking about between the two of us. No one in our group has ever dated another person from our group. There is no rule that says we can't date inside of our group but why would we want to risk something like that? Jasper and Bella screw around with each other but that's harmless. Their feelings aren't pure or hardly even deep. If Edward and I get serious and he were to break my heart I don't think that we could ever be friends again and then everyone else would suffer from our dispute.

"You don't know that things will get complicated and you won't know until you try." Edward's speaking logic, he seems so okay with taking this step. It's a big possibility that something bad will happen but it's probably even a bigger possibility that it might just go perfectly. "Just go to dinner with me. There is a small indie concert that is going to be playing downtown on Wednesday. Let me take you there and we can eat dinner afterwards."

"Okay." I say slowly. I nod my head.

"Yeah?" He smiles widely, and then looks at the pile of dishes that we've neglected to wash. "Maybe we should get started on these or I won't actually be alive to take you to dinner."

"Okay." I nod my head again. "That sounds like a good idea."


	3. Rose and James

**CHAPTER 3:**

**~ROSALIE AND JAMES~**

**ROSALIE POV CONTINUED...**

After we are all finished with our assigned chores, Esme suggests that we all sit down and watch a movie together for old times sakes. The boys all complain that they want to watch a horror flick but Esme shoots them down when she finds _"The_ _Notebook"_ burried beneath the stack of sappy-romance movies she collects.

Esme dims the lights and puts the movie on after we all get comfortably seated around the living room. I end up sitting sandwiched in between Alice and Bella on the large, white futon sofa. We have fluffy pink covers wrapped around our bodies and chocolate popcorn balls in our hands. This sort of reminds me of the slumber parties we used to have when we were all little girls. We'd watch gushy romance movies, paint eachother's nails, braid eachothers hair, and when our parents went to sleep we'd sneak outside to go to the park with the boys.

"I'm aware that I'm losing my dignity by agreeing to this." Jasper's fake frowning like he's really upset that we're making him watch a romantic movie, but he's actually quite amused. "I'm also aware that I'll never be able to regain that dignity back."

"Bro, you lost your dignity the day you started going to the salon for highlights."

This makes us all crack the fuck up, even Esme chuckles a little bit and she usually doesn't think it's funny we start teasing each other.

Jasper shakes his head, and this is not the first time I've noticed how perfect his honey-blond tresses are sculpted.

"Dude, I do not get highlights." Jasper is equally amused by Edward's accusation, a placid smile lifts the corners of his mouth. "I was born a honey-blond."

"Yeah right." Edward says, mock disbelief on his face. "Whose ever heard of a natural blonde with brown roots?"

"Whose ever hear of bronze being a hair color?"

Edward opens his mouth for his rebuttal but Esme beats him to it with a stern look. "It's time to watch the movie now boys. I'm sure you'll have time to discuss hair care and salons after it's done. If you're really interested I'll just give you both the number to my stylist."

Esme is secretly an underground comedian. She doesn't like it when the boys tease each other, but she'll playfully insult them with her subtle sarcasm from time to time. She thinks she's sly but she really isn't.

The movie isn't hard to get into but I guess that's probably because girls are programmed to love cliched romance. The boys lose their intrest in the movie all very quickly. Ten minutes in Emmett is knocked out on the couch, Jacob has his ear plugs in, Jasper and Edward have retreated upstairs to play video games, and James has ventured outside to possibly get high.

Alice, Bella, Esme, and I stay and finish up the movie, basking in the sickly sweetness. While watching I can't help but wonder if Edward would ever possibly feel that way about me. I know it's too soon to be thinking about possibilities but I can't quite make my heart listen. I have liked Edward for some time now. The thought of getting a chance with him is exciting to say the least.

Two hours later the movie is over and Esme is ready to go to bed. She has to get up for work in the morning and we have to attend our second day of school.

"Are you going home Bella?" James asks curiously. We're all standing outside on the porch, trying to figure out if we're going to hang out some more or just go home. "It's not even midnight yet."

"So." Bella rolls her chocolate eyes, "We still have school in the morning. Unlike some people I take school very seriously."

"Geek." James ruffles Bella's head on his way past her. I think we all know that the responsible thing for us to be doing is going home and getting ready for our next day of school, but we also know that none of us are what you'd typically call responisble. "Stay out for another hour at least."

"What are we going to do?" Bella asks, raising her eyes to his in a challenge. "Go to the beach?"

"Actually, that sounds like a fantastic idea." Alice says, knowing that Bella had intially been playing when she'd suggested the beach.

"We haven't gone there in a long time. Not at night at least." The beach used to be one of our favorite hangout places growing up. We all loved going there, especially at night time when there weren't really any other people out.

Bella agrees to go to the beach with us but she insists that she's only going to stay for a half hour. Time does not stand still for anyone and when we are all together time seems to fly. An hour quickly turns into two hours and before we know it midnight has rolled around.

"Do you want to go shopping on Wednesday?" Bella, Alice, and I are taking a stroll along the shorelines. We left the boys a few miles down the beach because they are engaged in a very volatile wrestling match that we do not want to get involved in. "I get my allowance tomorrow but we already made plans to go to the movies."

I haven't told them that Edward asked me on a date and I don't think that Edward has told any of the boys yet. I am just a little bit apprehensive about telling them because word usually spreads very quickly throughout our group of friends.

"Actually, I have plans for Wednesday." My voice is casual, there is no pretending in my act of nonchalance. "Edward asked me to go to a concert with him."

Bella and Alice are both silent.

"Wait a minute." Bella's eyes widen in suprise, it only takes another second for them to become narrowed though. "Are you telling me that Edward asked you on a date?"

"Yeah." I lift my shoulders and shrug. "He wants me to go to dinner and a concert with him."

"So, he just came out and asked you to go to dinner with him?" Bella is looking at me skeptically like she refuses to believe that Edward actually likes me. What does she think? That I used some kind of voodoo on him or something?

I sigh. Bella's not slow at understanding she's just stubborn."Yes Bella. I think I just said that."

Bella's expression completely falls, a frown diminishing the beauty of her face. "I've just never known Edward to be so...affectionate."

"Maybe he's changing for Rosie." Alice's suggestion is playful but there is also a slight seriousness behind her words. This only makes Bella's frown worsen but I don't quite understand why she is so concerned all of a sudden. "I can't believe you two are going on a date."

"Yeah." Bella chimes in drearily. "Me either."

**WDYWFM~~~~**

Wednesday comes quicker than I expect. We all went to the movies yesterday night and by the end of the day everyone knew about me and Edward's upcoming date. No one really gave us a hard time about it. The worst that we got was some teasing from the boys. Other than that they all seemed to be less than unconcerned. I don't think that they really expect anything serious to amount from the infatuation that Edward and I have with each other. I hope that they are wrong.

"Is that what you're wearing Rosie?" Alice gives me a skeptical look as I hold up a tight red halter dress. I look at myself in the mirror and picture the dress on me then I picture Edward's face when he's taking the dress off of me.

I supress a pleasant shudder and turn to flash Alice a smile. She is here to help me get ready for my date.

"Isn't it sexy?" I ask this but not because I actually want her to answer. My question is mostly rhetorical anyway because I already know that the dress is hot. When I put it on Edward will not be able to not notice how great my body looks in it.

"Yes." Alice agrees amused. Her eyes roll heavenward as she chuckles at me. "But I think it's just a smidge too sexy for an indie concert and a local restaraunt."

"Well...what do you suggest I wear since you're apparently a fashion expert." I want this to be perfect. I have never cared so much about making something be perfect and I have definitely never doubted my outfit choices. My anxiety has a lot to do with the fact that I actually care about Edward. What he thinks of me means a lot.

"Try some skinny jeans and a cute top." She says, with a simple shrug of her dainty shoulders. I hate that she is making so much sense right now but I am glad that she is here. Bella would have been here too but she apparently had something better to do.

"Okay." I listen to her fashion advice as I choose my next set of clothes. "How about this?"

"Try your faded skinny jeans instead of the white ones." Alice hops up off of my bed and bounces over to my closet, she steps inside and pulls one of my scarfs off of the hanger. "I think this gray will go really well with that blue sweater."

Since Alice is a fashion genius it doesn't take that long for me to find my outfit. She decides to wait downstairs with my mother while I get in the shower and dress.

By time I am done pinning and curling my hair, the doorbells rings and I know that Edward is here. When I see him I am instantly glad that I didn't choose to wear the halter dress. He has on a pair of slim fitting jeans, a band tee, and a leather jacket.

He's awfully casual but there is no denying that he looks good. Edward is gorgeous, that is something that he's always been, and something that he always will be.

"You look beautiful." He whispers as we make our way to his car, his eyes lift to my face and I am surprised by the amount of sincerity I find inside of them. "But of course you knew that already."

"It's still nice to hear you say it." My voice is touched, I want him to know that his compliment meant a lot to me. "I really wanted to look pretty for you tonight."

"Yes." He agrees, as his eyes sweep over me in an appreciative manner. My whole body feels ignited from the warmth that the gaze of his eyes has left me with. "Blue is my favorite color and It looks absolutely ravishing on you."

I try not to blind him with my 100-watt smile as he we enter his car. The ride is mostly silent. I think we are both trying to figure out how to handle this situation. It isn't awkward but there is just a little but of tension because neither of us have ever been on a real date before and I don't think that either of us were expecting to experience our first dates with each other.

When we get downtown the concert area is so cramped with people that there are a lot of couples sitting in the field with blankets instead of in chairs. The makeshift stage is centered in the middle of the grassy pasture and the band is singing a cover of _The Trainwreck Rider's_ "In and out of love."

"You didn't bring a blanket did you?" Edward shakes his head. There is literally only one chair left in the entire field. He sits down and pulls me onto his lap without hesistation. We've always been this close with each other. If our entire group would've been here sitting me on his lap would have been a painfully platonic gesture but it would have been comfortable.

This position seems so intimate now that we are alone...I can't belive that I'm letting him make me nervous.

"Is this okay?" He asks, his voice is beyond quiet in my ear. I almost can't hear what he's saying because the music is so loud, but his lips are so dangerously close. If I turn my face just a little our lips would be touching...

I remember to breathe and nod my head slowly.

The concert is unsuprisingly fun. I always have fun when I hang out with Edward. He isn't as outgoing as his brother is. In fact he is considered the quiet one amongst our group but that doesn't mean that Edward is shy. I bet that if the band would have invited him onto stage he would have gone up without hesitaion and stolen the show away from them.

Edward and I bob our heads to the modern music. He sings along with the band to the songs that he knows. I try to dance as much as I can but since I am sitting down all I can really do is move my hips.

I turn my head and give him a quizzical look when he grabs my hips to stop my movements. He smiles crookedly. His teeth are still ultra white even in the dark.

"I think you're underestimating the amount of self control I have Rosalie. Otherwise you wouldn't be shaking your ass on my lap, in this meadow full of speculating people." The smile on his face widens and darkens. "You're too damn beautiful for your own good Rose. I'm trying to be a gentleman and control myself so be a good girl."

He leans forward and presses a kiss to the nape of my neck. His lips are parted. I can feel his tongue on my skin. "When we're alone you can slide back and forth on me as much as you want." His eyebrows raise pointedly and a chuckle escapes him from the surprised expression on my face. "I'm just fucking with you Rosalie. You should see your face."

Edward and I have always been comfortable around each other. We've been best friends for years now, and even though this is totally new for both of us this still feels unusually right. The concert is over at a little after one a.m. We don't want to go far to find a place to eat so we both decide that Applebee's is great.

"You can order anything." Edward assures kindly. He smiles at me and his eyes crinkle just a little. We've been out to eat plenty of times and Edward has paid for me but this time the gesture seems romantic somehow.

Our dinner conversation is casual and easy. We flow and we never have to think about what we're going to say next. I probably already know every thing about Edward and vice versa, but I still like hearing him tell me about his hobbies.

He loves playing the piano. His grand father taught him how to play before he died from cancer. Edward tells me that he likes to remember his grandfather through the music that he plays.

When I ask him if he can write a song for me he smiles and tells me that he already has.

Edward and I practically spend the next two hours re-getting to know each other. Our food has been paid for but we don't leave our seats until I yawn during one of my sentences and am reminded that I do have a curfew. The drive back to my house is filled with comfortable silence. All of the tension that had been between us earlier completely evaporated throughout the night.

We get back to my house at three. Edward walks me up to my driveway like an old-fashioned gentlemen. I smile when we get up to the door. "You're so lame Edward."

"What are you talking about Hale?" He gives me a curious smile before taking my hand inside of his and pulling me towards him. "Don't you love my chivalry?"

Edward is such a charmer. I've never been confused as to why girls are constantly flinging theirselves at him. He's sexy, funny, sweet, and smart. He's the ideal boyfriend...he's what I want.

"Yes." I reply softly. I look into his eyes like a hopeless romantic. "You're really sweet Edward. I had a lot of fun tonight. Thanks for asking me out."

"God...Hale." He smirks at me playfully. "We sound like one of those cheesy romance movies."

I giggle lightly and look up into his emerald eyes again. He is so fucking gorgeous I can't resist. "You know what would make this moment even more cliche than it already is?"

"Enlighten me Rosalie." He says, even though I confidently believe that he already knows what I'm hinting at. His eyes flicker down to my lips for a lingering moment and back up to my face as he waits for me to respond.

"A kiss." I say simply.

"You want me to give you a good night kiss?" His eyes brighten. I'm pretty sure my heart is about to explode at any second.

I nod my head slowly. "Kiss me."

Edward doesn't need much more encouragement from me. He presses me against my front door and presses his lips against mine. Edward is a good kisser, I can feel how skilled he is through his easiness. He doesn't try to dominate like other boys that I've kissed, he allows us both to move in synchronation. Neither one of us are in control. We're just both relishing in this feeling of electricity flowing between our bodies.

My arms wrap around his neck and I let my fingers tangle inside of the messy tendrils in the back of Edward's head.

This feels so right. I cannot force myself to think about anything but him and the feeling of him against me. I've never felt anything so natural or easy in my life.

I pull away from him and when I glance up at him I can see the lust in his eyes. He hasn't told me good night yet because he wants me to invite him inside.

"My parents are asleep." I open the front door and step aside to allow him inside. "Can you be quiet?"

Edward smirks arrogantly as he backs me up onto the wall by the staircase. "If we're about to do what I think we're about to do you should be worried about whether you can keep quiet." He leans down and kisses my neck. His lips are at my ear. "I'm known for making girls cry out my name."

I chuckle and bring him in for another kiss. "Then I'll try extra hard to be a good girl."

Being with Edward is easy...

"Are we going up to your room?" His voice is barely a whisper. Neither one of us wants to wake my parents up.

"No." I shake my head, lacing my fingers through his. "We're going to the guest room in the basement."

Edward knows my entire house layout by heart, we've hung out here so much throughout the years that it would be a shame if he didn't. He effortlessly navigates us throughout the dark of my house, towards the kitchen threshold, and down the basement stairs. There are two guest rooms and a bathroom in my basement. I don't ususally come down here that often but this is the perfect place for Edward and I to be at the moment.

Edward pushes my back up against the closed door, his lips leave a heated trail up my neck. "I'm embarassed to say that I've been looking forward to this part of the date since you agreed to go out with me."

My eyes are closed but I have a feeling that there's a crooked smile on Edward's face, "What made you think I'd put out on the first date?"

"I don't know." His lips are back at my ear. His breath is chilling, I have to keep myself from shuttering against him. "I just thought I'd get lucky."

"It's not luck." I assure quietly, reaching forward to grab him through his jeans. A small groan escapes him as his head falls onto my shoulder. "I've been looking forward to the same thing and I'm not embarassed to admit it."

Edward reaches past me to open the door and we both stumble into the darkness of the bedroom. We don't stop to cut on the lights, our lips are against each others and we're falling ontop of each other when we land on the bed. I can't see a damn thing but I can feel his hands skimming up and down the sides of my body, his tongue tangling around mines, and the erection in his pants.

Our clothes become collateral. I tug at his shirt, at his jeans, at his boxers, and he pulls the same way at all of my clothes until we are both naked and our clothes are in a pile on the floor.

It isn't a surprise to me that Edward knows what he's doing. We've had sex before but that was once and I can barely remember any of it. All I know is that Edward does everything with a purpose. His hands are all over my body. Pinching at my nipples, stroking between my legs. All I can do is moan quietly and pray that he doesn't stop.

"Fuck Rosalie." He says, voice barely a whisper. There is no denying the want in his tone. "You're so wet. I can't wait any longer..."

"I want you." I reply, my voice equally wanting. I can't see what I am doing but I reach towards him anyway, he groans my name when I wrap my hand around his length. "I want to feel all of you."

Edward doesn't need much more encouragement. One of my legs are wrapped around his waist, my wrists are in his hands, and he holds them above my head when he slides inside of me.

"Oh, fuck." His swears are passionately sexy, his voice dripping and drowned in lustful pleasure. "Jesus christ, you feel so good Rosalie."

It doesn't take Edward long to find his rhythms. His movements are not harsh but they are powerful. He thrusts within me deeply and long, he pushes hard but he is not rough. He doesn't have to do anything extra to turn me into a withering mess underneath him.

"Edward...fuck..." I wish that I could see his face, I want to see just how good it is for him because words cannot describe how amazing this is for me. "So good, sooo fucking good..."

I know when Edward gets close because the forcefulness of his movements increase, his breathing accelerates, and his head falls to my shoulder.

"Fuck Rosalie...are you close?"

I barely hear what he is saying to me because in all actuality I am already there. My back arches and my entire body tightens around him. He presses his mouth back onto mine, swallowing the moan that would have probably awaken both of my parents. Then he follows after me, quietly moaning and shuddering out my name during his release.

I bring him in for the last, sleepy kiss. We're both coming down off of that orgasmic high and this kiss intensifies the connection between us.

Being with Edward is easy...

I realize this as I fall asleep in his arms.

I just hope it stays that way...

**JAMES POV**

"Get the fuck up man!" I don't know which one of those assholes does it but someone takes it upon theirselves to throw a cup of water right onto my face. They'd better be glad that I decided to sleep in the livingroom last night because I probably would've been pissed if they'd soaked my bed up like that.

"I'm not going to school." I yell back, to whom ever decided to disrupt my sleep. "School is for pansies."

"School is for people who want to make something out of theirselves." Jacob says, matter of factly. The expression on his face is one of amusement but I can tell that he's serious behind what he says. "You're going to school today man."

"Yeah bro," Jasper bounds down the stairs with his messenger bag slung across his body, he's an average student and his family doesn't have the money to send him to an impressive college. I bet my nonchalance about school upsets him. I bet he envies me. "Bella's going to have our asses if we don't make you get to school today."

Jasper is oblivious to the fact that I envy him. I wish that my parents didn't have the money to send me to college. I fucked my way up through school so they're probably going to bribe my way into Ivy League, but I don't even want to go to college. I don't even want this life. I don't deserve it. I'm a failure but they just won't accept it.

I sit up with my hand to my head. My thoughts are starting to over-flow at a rapid pace. I wake up and they're like poision to my body. I need to keep them at bay to keep myself from succumbing into depression. I started smoking weed when I was twelve years old, I started drinking when I was fifteen, and when I turned sixteen I started doing coke. It really used to be a recreational thing but now I'm sad to say that I'm pretty much addicted to them. They are my unorthodox pain relievers.

"I need to take a shower." I rise, to make my way to the bathroom. We have three of them in the house but three is still not enough sometimes. "Just know that if I'm not out in ten minutes I probably drowned or something."

"Try to stay sober." Emmett snickers, as I pass him on the stairs. He doesn't know just how much I wish I could take his advice. He doesn't know just how incapable I am of actually staying sober. Depression is an illness. I've felt like killing myself several times, I've felt like ending it all...I can't control it when I'm sober but when I'm high none of the bullshit matters anymore. When I'm high I'm almost happy. "Or try to get high off of life."

I feel a sickeningly familiar smile stretching onto my face but it's terribly misplaced there. I don't want to smile but it's the only coping mechanism I know of besides being stoned. "Fuck you."

I close myself in the bathroom on the third floor. I am still in the clothes that I wore yesterday. My best friend is still in the back pocket of my Levi jeans.

I pull the baggie of cocaine out of my pocket. There's a rolled up bill already waiting for me within the plastic. I look at my addiction with blue eyes that often appear black and I hate it. I hate myself.

I pour myself three lines ontop of the clean white sink, it's filthy because of the things I use it for. I lean over the thin, toixc powder and close my eyes as I feel the euphoria rushing up my nose. My eyes remain closed and something delightful shudders throughout me. When I open my eyes, a reflection in the mirror startles me. It's like a mirage because I know it's a lie.

Instead of seeing the worthless kid, the one with the dark circles underneath his eyes and the sandy blond hair; I see a light-hearted kid ready to put a show on for everyone else. I'm going to go through my day like everything is perfectly fine within me and when my high wears off...

I'm going to have another visit with my very best friend...

I am the one who is a failure...

**~~~~WDYWFM**

Ten minutes later I am dressed. I am clean in one way but not in the other. Twenty minutes later I am not in the same place I was ten minutes ago.

"So...what did you guys do yesterday?" Bella asks Edward as she unloads her messenger bag into her locker. She tries to seem nonchalant but she isn't as quite good of an actor as I am.

"What do you think they did Isabella?" I chuckle at Edward and he shakes his head. "They screwed each other's brains out."

He thinks that I am fucking stupid. I know damn well that he was in my little cousin's bed last night. He was too busy fucking her into oblivion to even bring his ass home.

Fucking prick...

"We saw that indie concert and went out to eat like I said we were going to do."

"What ever." I say skeptically, my head is reeling but not in a bad way. I find it difficult to focus on one paticular thing for any given amount and that's exactly how I like it. "Why didn't you come home then?"

"It was late." Edward insists, though he isn't trying very hard to make his lies believable. I wasn't born yesterday. I know that he is lying when that stupid crooked smile plays across his face. "Her mom insisted that I stay the night."

Bella frowns at him and her lucious little lips curl into an immature pout. I ruffle her pretty brunette head. "Bella, don't believe a word that Edward is saying. He is a fucking liar and we all obviously know it."

"Yeah I know it." Bella is pissed off and we both know this because her face is red and her lips are jutted out even further. "Stop lying Edward or get better at it because quite frankly you suck."

"Says the person who can't tell a lie to save her life?" I counter wryly because the irony is just too damn funny to ignore.

"Hey!" Bella smacks my stomach with her notebook with a mock frown. She can't be mad though...she knows that she sucks ass at lying "You're supposed to be on my side James."

I shrug my shoulders. I am on my own side. I am on no side. I'm Switzerland.

"I hate school man." I don't know what compells me to say this but I just really have to get it off of my chest...I just need someone to know how much I loathe school. "I wish I could blow this dismal ass building to pieces."

I've been getting up at six-thirty in the morning for twelve years now and even when I graduate here I'm still going to have about six more years of school...it's never going to end.

"Dude, you can get suspended for saying some shit like that." Edward says shoving me lightly against my locker.

"Really?" My eyes brighten. Suspension sounds just about right to me.

"Don't give him any ideas." Bella says playfully. She gives me a warning look. "He'll probably go do something stupid to get hiself suspended on purpose."

"Oh, you know me all to well Isabella." I wrap my arm around her tiny waist and pull her to my side. Isabella smells like strawberries.

"Hey, hands off. That's my girl." I turn to see Jasper approaching us with a lazy smile on his face. He has his arm slung around Alice's dainty shoulders. Rosalie is behind them and Jake and Emmett are trailing beside her.

A small smile creeps onto Bella's face. She's going to get into her bitchy mode pretty soon. It always starts off as fun and then Jasper says or does something that pisses her right the fuck off. "Looks like you already have your girl with you."

Jasper kisses Alice's cheek and chuckles when Bella scowls. "You don't know how incredibly hot you are when you're jealous Bella."

"Actually I do know." Bella sticks out her tongue, but she stops fucking with Jasper just long enough to watch the warm embrace that Rosalie and Edward share. I don't know if any body else notices but Bella's whole body tenses when the two of them kiss.

I'd feel sorry for Bella if she wasn't such a selfish bitch. Everyone with eyes and a working brain knows that Edward Cullen has been in love with her since they came out of their mother's vaginas.

Everyone also knows that Bella has known this her whole life and has used it to her advantage. She already has Jasper eating out the palm of her and she is painfully blind of the fact that Alice is in love with him. Even if Bella did know that Alice liked Jasper it wouldn't matter because now since Edward has finally grown some balls and decided to stop trying to woo her she wants him back.

This is all just too much for me because I know some drama is bound to break out some where. Girls are cruel. They'll stab you in the mother fucking back with a dinner knife as soon as your back is turned towards them.

I just like to sit back and watch this shit unfold...

Slowly, but surely...

I could write a fucking story about this shit.

Eight people who love each other, there's a thin line between love and hate when you keep secrets that will hurt them. Eight different points of views...

Throw in a little sex, betrayal, and lies and you got yourself a story...


	4. Em and Jakey

**Disclaimer: We do not own Twilight or any of the characters.**

**Special thanks to everyone who reviewed...**

**Thank you for all of the support.**

**Big thanks to PeppersInYourMartini and twilightfffreak () **

**So...this is chapter four**

**Please read and review!**

* * *

><p><strong>CHAPTER 4:<strong>

**~EMMETT AND JACOB~**

**EMMETT POV**

My life is simple...

I'm just the one who tells pointless jokes, fuck the easy girls, and act like I don't see the fucking corruption inside of our group.

Edward is fucking Rosalie...

Jasper is fucking Bella...

Alice is dreaming about fucking Jasper...

James is dreaming about drugs...

Jake is dreaming about fucking Bella...

And I and dreaming about fucking Rosalie.

Why is every thing so fucking mixed up? Why does the perfect spoiled, little rich boy always get every thing that he wants?

Oh, wait that is not entirely fucking true.

He didn't get everything...

He didn't get Bella because she was too busy sucking Jasper's dick while Alice was crying her little heart out to me at night over the phone.

Why can't anyone see any of this obvious shit infront of their faces? Am I the only one with a working brain? Am I the only one who realizes that we fucked up a long time ago, or does everyone else realize this too? Do they just choose to ignore it because they think if they ignore it the problems will just go away?

Nope...

It does not matter what we do...

It does not matter how much we try to ignore the fact that we're ignoring our problems...

They'll always be there and I'll still be the one telling pointless jokes and fucking the easy girls.

"Emmett." Alice nudges my elbow with her own lace covered one and slides a folded piece of paper across the blacktop table towards me. This is so immature and childish. This is so Alice.

I show her a wry smile before picking up the note and reading it mock-slyly.

_Did you see the way Bella reacted today? She looked like she wanted to rip Rosalie's hair out._

I do not like talking about Bella behind her back but to be completely truthful everyone does it. Everyone hates Bella but at the same time they love her.

**_Yeah Al, she has it hot for Eddie-boy :p_**

When Alice reads what I write back she shakes her head with a sigh and a frown.

_Well, Princess Bella can't always get what her little heart desires._

That is a lie if I ever heard one. Princess Bella can get practically anything she wants and when I say anything...

**_Don't worry Alice. I'm sure Bella isn't even worried about Edward and Rosalie for real. Jasper keeps her distracted._**

_I wish Jasper would open his eyes and see what a bitch she is._

**_Woah Ally-cat...chill out with the b word. Bella is still our friend. You can't be mad at her if she is what Jasper wants._**

_Can I be mad that Jasper wants her while she is secretly pining over Edward? Can I be mad that he is too preoccupied with her to even figure out that I love him?_

I don't write back to Alice after that. I do not feel right talking about other people when they are not around to defend theirselves. It just seems petty to me but Alice is like a little sister to me and when she wants to vent I let her express her feelings to me. I have to shut it down when she goes beyond the point of reasoining though.

I have one more class before lunch and I have that class with Bella.

When she takes her seat beside me there is a bright smile on her face. Either a smile or a frown. It's always one or the other when it comes to Bella. "Hey Emmy, how was your first class?"

Bella is always geuinely concerned to know how people are feeling for some reason. I still don't understand why. It isn't as if she actually cares.

"It was good Bells." I won't be impolite with Bells. I love her. I hate her. "How about you?"

Bella shrugs her shoulders in another attempt of nonchalance. I know that she shares her first class with Rosalie. I have to wonder to myself what could have possibly gone on during that class period.

"It was fine I guess." She pulls out her notebooks and begins to take down the notes that are written across the board in the front of the classroom. "It could have been better?"

"How?" I ask her this for some reason. I still don't understand why. It isn't as if I actually care.

"If Rosalie wouldn't have been gushing out the details of her date with Edward to everyone in hearing distance." Bella has an ugly scowl threatening to take over the otherwise pretty features of her facial expression. She doesn't even try to hide the jealousy in her voice.

"Jasper gushes out the details of your sex-life." This is a fact and Jasper is never modest. I would think that Bella would be quite upset for being expolited like that.

Bella rolls her chocolate, brown eyes at me. "Yeah, but no one really takes Jasper serious. Those girls were eating Rosalie's story up like it was the most interesting thing they'd ever heard. All I hear when I walk through the halls is Rosalie this or Rosalie that."

"Are you jealous?" I ask Bella this question every single day because I know that there is always something that she's going to be jealous about.

Bella makes a small scoffing noise as if the thought of her being jealous over Rosalie is ridiculous. She does this all of the time to play it off but it's pretty damn easy to see that she is insecure when it comes to Rosalie.

Rosalie Hale is beautiful as fuck and everyone with eyes knows this.

"What do I have to be jealous for?" She asks, as if I am entirely absursd for even suggesting it.

"Because the topic of gossip isn't all about you today." We are all popular in one way or another but some of us like being in the spotlight a little more than others.

Bella flashes me a droll look before smiling, "Emmett you are so funny. Isabella Marie Swan doesn't get jealous."

Yes she does...

I cannot explain with any english words how happy I am when lunch time rolls around. I like being in a group as a whole. When we're all together it is easy to pretend like we do not talk about each other behind their backs.

When there are only two of us somebody is always going to talk about somebody else and somehow I always get stuck in the middle of it.

"Dude, are you fucking insane?" Jasper asks Edward with a lazy smile on his face.

I walk up to the table with my lunch tray in hand. It seems like Jake, James, Edward, and Jasper are having an arguement. The girls are giggling at how riled up Jasper has managed to make all of them.

Rosalie is sitting in Edward's lap, Bella's leaning her back up against Jasper's chair and he has his arm wrapped around her, and Alice is sitting in between James and Jake who both flash me a smile when I plop down beside them.

"What the fuck are you pussies arguing about?" I ask wryly. It's easy to pretend like we're all the best of friends even though that's not what we really are. We're just a group of people who deal with each other because we can't imagine our lives without each other. We stopped being best friends a long time ago though but I can't quite remember when we turned into what we are now.

"Bella asked the boys who their favorite all time rockbands are." Rosalie explains lightly. Her violet eyes are bright and when she looks at me my heart beats just a little bit faster.

Sometimes I really despise my little brother. I hate the fact that he's so oblivious and ungrateful to all of the extra privellegas he has that I do not. My parents treat him like he shits gold out of his ass. At family dinners we always talk about Edward's accomplishments, at family parties we always acknowledge Edward for what a great person he is, and at school the teachers let him get away with whatever he wants because he's the favorite son of Carlisle Cullen.

Now, he's fucking the girl that I've been in love with since second grade.

Rosalie Hale was always misunderstood. Ever since we were kids all everyone ever saw when they looked at her was her beauty and then they decided that her looks were the only thing to her. She's been called shallow, and concieted, and a bitch. But in reality she is none of that. Rosalie Hale is a beautiful person on the inside and she deserves to be more than just Edward's rebound.

She's his second choice. I wish she knew that she's always been my first and last choice.

"Oh that's easy." I say, I think we're all good at pretending to be completely fine when we're not. We've all mastered that skill. "_Asking Alexandria_ kicks major ass."

"Thank you!" Edward exclaims, throwing his hands into the air. His eyes are too green and sparkling. He looks happy and he is not pretending.

"You're hella stupid Emmett." Jasper says wryly, his emotions tend to leak into other people's moods. When he's excited everyone gets all riled up, and when he's calm everyone else gets all mellow and chill. "Everyone knows that _Escape the Fate_ is the most awesome thing ever invented since...air."

"_Escape the Fate_ used to be awesome until Ronnie left." James clarifies, eyes darker than black as they dart around our faces. "_Falling in Reverse_ is the best rockband now."

"_Falling in Reverse_ is gay." I say blankly, I have no problem with insulting anyone at this table. This is mostly all fun and games. "They're all a bunch of faggots."

The girls continue to giggle at our obnoxiousness, James glares at playfully me because I have insulted his favorite band, and Jake decides to continue this pointless debate.

"Let's just face it..._Black Veil Brides_ are the best." Everyone looks at Jacob who raises his eyebrows challengingly.

"_Black Veil Brides_ are a total rip off of _Kiss_...they have absolutely no originality." Rosalie says snappily. Jacob's mouth drops open, and we all just kind of laugh at each other.

This is the kind of stuff that I love.

"You know who is cool though?" Edward says lightly. "O.F.W.G.K.T.A" It sounds like he's just spraying out a random mess of letters.

"What does that stand for?" Bella asks sardonically, her brown eyes are one beat away from her signature eye roll.

"Odd Future."

"And who is that?" Bella asks again.

"Just listen to this dude called _Tyler the Creator_ and you'll know what I am talking about. He is fucking sick. His lyrics are so subliminal."

"Wow, very big words." Jasper says with a teasing edge to his voice. "Edward is using big words now. He's a big kid now."

"Screw you." Edward flips Jasper off, a crooked smile lifting the corners of his lips.

"Oh, I think the one you want to screw is sitting on your lap."

Rosalie chuckles. Bella probaly would have blushed if it had been her, but Bella doesn't blush. Bella's smile drops.

I wonder who else notices this change in her expression.

"Go ahead Eddie-boy. Be a big kid." Something meaningful glitters across Jasper's facial expression. "Kiss your girl."

I have a gut feeling that Jasper knows exactly what he is doing. His black-blue eyes are squinted with feindish delight. I know that he has to be able to feel Bella's body tensing around his arms.

"Kiss, kiss, kiss!" Jasper gets the whole table to start chanting. Alice is the one who chants the loudest. Bella and I are the only ones who do not chant along with our friends but no one else seems to notice our spells of silence.

Rosalie glances at Edward and the look on her face is one of pure attraction. The both of them share a quiet moment before they lean in and kiss each other. It looks so natural. It looks like they are doing what they know they were meant to do. I would do just about anything to switch places with my little brother, just maybe for a day. So I can know what it feels like to get everything you think you want.

My heart clenches more than just a little...

I hear someone gasp. I have a feeling that I know who that someone is.

"How cute." Alice cooes, she looks directly at her best friend Bella when she says this. Bella is not paying attention to anything Alice is doing though, because Bella is busy watching Edward and Rosalie make out with jealous eyes.

"Okay...okay." Jasper finally says, he's already gotten his point across. We fucked up. It's very obvious. "Could you two please seperate before you die from a lack of breathing or before I get a massive boner?"

Jasper knows exactly what he is doing. The dude manipulates emotions. I swear to god...

"We need to make plans." Jasper says after Edward and Rosalie actually do pull away from each other.

They smile and my heart clenches a little bit more.

"Plans for what?" Alice asks curiously. Her spiky hair has been straightened and now it lays down on the sides of her head in pretty little waves. I think she was trying to see if Jasper would notice or not.

Jasper only has his eyes on one thing and unfortunately that is not her.

"Plans for the week" Jasper hitches his shoulders in a shrug. "Plans for the weekend. I don't want to go home bored today while Edward goes out and gets ass."

One more clench and I think my heart will shatter. Once it shatters it'll never quite be the same again.

"Well, what do you want to do asshole?" Edward asks wryly.

"Let's go to the mall and see what movies are playing at the theater"

"Today?" I ask. I think I need a little time out. We need to do something fun. Everything has been so tense lately.

"Afterschool." Jasper confirms with a smile. "Whose in?"

Everyone except for Bella agrees to go.

Everyone wants to know why Bella doesn't want to go and when we ask her she tells us to mind our business and that she'll go next time.

I think I know why she doesn't want to go. She doesn't want to be around Rosalie and Edward while they express their love for each other like the love-sick idiots that they are.

But I'm still going to go because I guess I'm a masochist.

I guess I like the pain...

**JACOB POV**

I am the one who everyone loves...

I am the one who is always neutral...

I am the one who is always calm...

I am the one who has been in love with Isabella Swan since...I can't even remember how long I have loved Bella.

I can remember the first time she told me she had feelings for Jasper though. Me, her, Alice, and Edward were all in tenth grade and the others were juniors. It was the middle of October and I was just about to ask her if she wanted to be my date for the homecoming dance.

I had gone out and bought her flowers earlier that day. I didn't let the guys see them though because I knew that they would have teased me to the end of time and back. I went to her house afterschool just like I always did because Bella and I had been exceptionally close that year. The two of us used to sit and talk for hours about anything and everything.

I remember her telling me on the phone that she had something important to talk to me about when I got there. We went up to her room and she smiled at me so brightly, I couldn't help but think about how gorgeous she was.

When I asked her what she wanted to talk to me about she giggled like a little school girl and proceeded to tell me about how much Jasper meant to her. She told me how much she really liked him. She told me that she knew he liked her too because after they'd had sex he told her that she was his special girl.

I didn't have the heart to tell her that Jasper had said the very same thing to Tanya Denali, Jessica Stanley, and Lauren Mallory when he'd had sex with them too.

I didn't have the heart to tell her that the only reason Jasper even wanted to have sex with her in the first place was because James had bet him that Bella was probably the only girl who was stubborn enough to resist his golden boy charms. The bet turned into a dare and then Jasper was on a mission to become the second boy lucky enough to get into Bella Swan's pants.

It had seemed like Jasper was going to lose the bet. James hadn't given him a deadline but after a few months of failed attempts everybody just stopped worrying about it altogether. I was sort of relieved that he'd failed. I didn't think that Bella deserved to get screwed over like that. Bella was too beautiful to get used and pushed to the side. She wasn't like Tanya or Lauren. Bella was too phenomenal.

Of course we'd never told the girls about it. They would throw it right back up in Bella's face as soon as she pissed them off. I don't need to mention the fact that Bella pisses people off quite often do I ?

Jasper had been adamant with his plans. He is a really good manipulator. I sort of admire him for just how cunning and coniving he really is. Somehow he'd managed to sweet talk his way into Bella's heart. He said something to her that I'd been wanting to say my whole entire life. It was probably actually five months after the actual bet had been made when he came home late one night with a big smile on his face.

Of course we all know who won the bet in the end.

"Jakey." Alice pulls on my arm with her tiny little hands and smiles up at me like a little pixie. Lunch passes by so quickly and we're already on to our next classes. Alice has to walk the same way as I do so we decide to walk to class together. "Did you hear what I said?"

"Nope." I pop my 'p' and act like I don't care about what ever she's been rambling on about in my ear. I've always been a good listener but there's only one person who I want to listen to. There's only one person that I would listen to forever.

Alice pinches my arm playfully. "Well, you'd better listen this time." She orders with a stern smile.

"Okay. Sheesh...what did you say Al?" I smile down at her little petite figure. She looks like an ant from where I stand. A very pretty ant.

"Jasper's birthday is coming up. I want to throw him a big surprise party at that new club down town." Alice is in love with Jasper. He has her heart on the sleeve of his shirt and he's completely oblivious. I bet if he'd stop toying around with Bella or dicking around with all of the other females at this school he'd realize that someone actually loves him. That's something that Jasper missed out on when he was growing up as a kid. He didn't have someone around to tell him that they loved him, so now he doesn't even know love when he sees it.

"The one that Edward and Emmett just rented out?"

Alice shakes her head. I notice that her hair is soft and wavy today. She must have spent a lot of time on it. It's really too bad that Jasper didn't even take the time to notice it. "No, the one that just opened like a month ago. No one has thrown any parties there yet. I heard that it's really cool though."

"Well, I guess that sounds like a plan Alice." A small smile lifts my mouth, throwing a party for Jazz seems like a lot of fun. "When are you going to tell the others about it?"

"Whenever I get them away from Jasper. We're all going to pitch in to pay for the stuff." Alice replies, very surely. "Edward and Emmett aren't going to pay for everything like they always do. I want this to be one big group effort."

"Cool. I'm in." I probably won't be able to help much financially and Alice knows this. My family isn't what you would call poor but we aren't that far away from it. My mother has been dead for the last six years and my father is confined to a wheel chair so he can't work. He gets a disability check and an unemployment check every month but after paying for bills at home he doesn't have any spare money to give to me.

I get money from helping people fix their cars for cheap and through a program at school. As long as I continue to get straight A's, I continue to get money. The others are very supportive of my situation. I know that they'd help me pay for the expenses of anything that I needed if I were to ask. I just don't like to ask very often because it makes me feel needy.

"Awesome." We come to a stop infront of Alice's class.. "I'll see you when the dismissal bell rings." Alice bounces forward and catches my cheek with her lips. This is her form of goodbye. I smile and start back up on my walk.

I spot Bella at her locker on my way and I can't resist my urge to go up to her.

"Hey Bells." I say nicely, my voice and expression warm.

Bella spins around and smiles at me softly. She ruffles my hair with her hand, I am pleased that she's happy to see me. "Hey Jacob, Shouldn't you be getting to class?"

"I am on my way." I look at her, a small smile on my lips again. "I have something to tell you though."

"What is it?" The dark of her doe eyes narrow very slightly, I measure all of Bella's reactions. "Don't tell me this has something to do with Rosalie and Edward."

I am unsurprised about her assumption. Rosalie and Edward have been the news of everyone's gossip today but they are the last thing on my mind at the moment. Whatever they have going on is barely interesting and not even important enough for me to want to discuss it amongst other people. I'm just glad that Edward has finally taken his eyes off of Bella. If he wants to date Rosalie that's absolutely fine with me.

"Alice says that she is trying to organize a surprise party for Jasper's birthday."

Bella's hands find a place on her hips. "Why is she trying to organize him a party? Why didn't she tell anyone else about it untill the last minute? His birthday is Friday."

If you haven't noticed by now Bella Swan has serious jealously issues.

"Maybe she wants to throw him a party because he is one of her best friends. Ever think of that smart one?"

Bella rolls her eyes. She shuts her locker with a little too much force. "People are really starting to piss me off."

She mumbles this under her breath so maybe she doesn't intend for me to hear it. I pretend that I don't hear it but I have to wonder who she could be talking about when she says this.

"So, why aren't you going to the mall with us this afternoon? You love shopping."

"I'm just not feeling it today. Plus, I have a lot of homework."

I do not believe Bella...

Not one bit...

"Bella, you are totally the worst liar on this planet." I laugh to myself and shake my head, "But I still love you though. If you don't want to tell me you don't have to."

"I love you too Jakey but I don't love you enough to let you make me be late on the second day of school." Bella smile's at me playfully. "I'll see you later though. If I don't see you at dismissial just call me later okay?"

I nod my head and watch Isabella strut away, her long brown hair sways with every step she takes.

Isabella is beautiful...

I love her and evidently...I love her enough to let her make me late on the second day of school. The late bell rings as I am watching her disappear into a classroom down the hall.

I am the one that is Bella's bestfriend...

I am the one that has always been over shadowed by someone else...

I am the one that can't get a paticular girl out of their head...

I can't see anyone else but Bella.

I sigh and shove my hands inside of my pants pockets. My class is on the third floor. I have a long way to walk. I have a short time to think.

My life is not simple...

I am not the one who can just tell jokes and fuck girls.

I am the one who has all of these hidden thoughts rushing inside of my head.

I am the one who fears someone is going to get hurt.

I do not know how and I do not know when but something is telling me that it's going to be soon.

I just hope that somone isn't me...

**~~~~WDYWFM**


	5. Ally and Eddie

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><p><strong>CHAPTER 5:<strong>

**~ALICE AND EDWARD~**

**ALICE POV**

I decide that going to the mall after school is a fantastic idea. The fact that Bella isn't here to distract Jasper makes the idea even more fantastic.

Jealousy is not subtle and nor is it kind. It can turn endearing feelings towards someone into resentment very quickly. As jealousy takes its toll on your relationships, it will also proceed to control your mind. I can't remember a time in my life when I wasn't jealous of Bella and Rosalie.

They were always similar in a way. Too beautiful to be real.

Rosalie is almost goddess like. She is striking with her good looks.

Bella is more subtle with her appeal. Her simplicity is what makes her so pretty.

I've always hated myself for not looking like them. I've always hated them for being so much prettier than me.

I am the one who is the ugly-duckingly...

"Did Bella seem a little off to you today?" Jacob asks when Edward and Rosalie have ventured off into a little boutique store by their selves. Jasper, Emmett, and I are sitting at the food court eating some pretzels from Auntie Annie's. James is probably somewhere off trying to buy some drugs.

For the meantime, I am just happy sitting here with Jasper's arm around the back of my chair. He keeps playing with the ends of my hair. I lean into him intentionally but he doesn't seem to care.

"Nah." Jasper shakes his head. His curly hair is a mess of blond and brown tendrils. The spirals shake and fall into his face as he speaks. Jasper is the all-American boy. Blond hair with blue eyes. Absolutely gorgeous. "Bella seemed her usual self."

I am sort of fiendishly delighted that Jasper didn't notice the change in Bella's demeanor today because If Jasper really liked Bella so much he would notice things about her...

God knows I notice things about him.

When he's tired his blue-black eyes have little purple shadows underneath them, when he's in thought he starts to unintentionally tap his fingers on what ever is around him, when he's high his eyes become severely squinted and slanted, when he's mad he likes to be alone, and when he thinks about his family he likes to be around someone so he won't feel alone.

I wonder if Bella notices these things about him. I have my doubts that she does...

"She was acting so weird. I swear something was on her mind." Jacob notices these things about Bella because the kid fucking loves her. I wish that she would back the fuck off of Jasper and pay attention to the boy who actually wants her for something other than sex.

"Then why didn't you just ask her if something was wrong with her?" Jasper asks, as if it is the simplest suggestion a person could ever make.

"Why do you think she didn't want to come to the mall with us?" I ask mock-innocently. Jasper and Jacob both look at me curiously. I come to realize that I am smiling a little bit too wide to seem like I really care why she isn't with us.

"Maybe she just didn't feel like going." Jasper says casually.

"She told me she had a lot of home work to do or something like that." Jacob answers slowly. He looks at me wryly because he knows that deep down inside I'm actually glad that Bella isn't here with us.

"Who Bella?" Edward asks when he and Rosalie approach us.

"Yeah." I nod slowly, "Did she seem off to you today Edward?"

"Nope." Edward shrugs his shoulders nonchalantly. "Bella is always wonderfully bitchy. You know that by now."

We all share a few chuckles from that one because Edward is absolutely right, but thankfully the conversation doesn't stay on the topic of Bella because our movie is due to start in a couple of minutes. We all make our way to the movie theater.

When we take our seats we do it randomly but somehow I end up beside Jasper, Rosalie ends up between Emmett and Edward, and Jake is on the other side of me. James still hasn't rejoined us but he's going to pop up sooner or later...I mean come on. Where could he have gone? We're in the mall for fucks sake.

"Are you scared Alice?" Jasper asks playfully, he's not anywhere near frightened and I'm practically shitting my fucking panties right now.

"No, what makes you think I'm scared?" I lie to make myself seem brave.

"Oh, I don't know." He whispers, leaning so close that his breath tickles my face. "Maybe because you've been squeezing my hand for so long that it's starting to lose circulation."

I look down and realize that I have Jasper's left hand held hostage between mines. I am mildly flattered by the fact that he hasn't pulled away from me yet. He gives me a calm smile as he gives my hand a gentle squeeze.

"Don't worry Tinkerbell. I would never let some faggot in a hockey mask kill you...but if someone comes in here with a chainsaw and a mask made out of human flesh you're on your own."

I roll my eyes at him because I really do believe him. That sounds exactly like something that Jasper would do.

The movie is a totally worth five stars. It lasts for about two hours. By time the damn thing is finally over it is going on 7pm and I'm still jumpy from the horror. James still hasn't reappeared so we have no choice but to split up and try to find his silly ass ourselves.

"Fuck this." Jasper says stubbornly. "James is a big boy. I'm sure he will turn up sometime soon." Jasper sits down at one of the tables near the food stand and gestures for me to come sit beside him. I suppose he is right. James does stuff like this all of the time. It really isn't a big deal.

"You are right Jazz. He is probably high as the blue fucking sky as we speak."

Jasper leans back in his chair and chuckles to himself, "Sounds like something James would do alright...especially at a time like this."

"So...I have a question to ask you Jasper."

His bright blue eyes lock onto mines for a moment, and I see a little bit of fear wash over his expression. Jasper isn't good with the serious aspects of life like having a serious conversation with someone. He likes to play around but he only does it to keep his thoughts at bay.

There is so much more to Jasper than what meets the eye...

"What is it Al?" His voice is slow and guarded. He'll shut down on me very quickly if I don't go about this the right way.

"How do you feel about Bella?" This is an easy start. The answer should be simple. "Are you in love with her?"

"In love?" Jasper scoffs at the very thought of it. I feel a little bit of hope beginning to churn from inside of me. "I care about Bella. I have feelings for her but I'm not in love with her. I could never love anyone like that. I'm simply incapable."

He has feelings for her...

He could never love anyone like that...not even me.

Of course I already knew that that he had feelings for Bella but hearing him saying it out loud just hits me kind of hard.

"Do you think you and Bella would ever date?" My voice is calm and curious. I don't think he knows that my heart is beating erractically.

Jasper shrugs his shoulders. He's going to do his best to stay nonchalant and if can't then he'll end this conversation. He isn't going to show me any feelings. He's afraid to show emotion. "I don't know Alice. As you can see I am not real big on commitments. Did Bella tell you to ask me this or something? Does she think because Edward's turned into boyfriend material that I'm going to suddenly become her boyfriend or something?"

"No, I was just curious." I say offhandedly. I smile at him and he just looks at me curiously. "What?" I ask raising my eyebrows.

"Nothing, it's just I have realized that you have never had a boyfriend before...and you are still a virgin." Jasper says the last part with a teasing under tone, and then he chuckles lightly. "I can only imagine the years of sexual frustration that you have pent up inside of you."

"Maybe I'm just waiting for the right person."

"Who might that be Ms. Brandon? Tell me who you have been waiting to give your v-card to because they must be pretty fucking stupid to have resisted you this long."

"He doesn't know that I like him." I say quietly.

Jasper looks at me skeptically, his eyes are intent on mine. It's a wonder that he doesn't know. "You have never come across as the silent-lover type Alice."

"Well." I smile at him pointedly, there's all love in my voice for him. "He just makes me nervous."

"Who is this mysterious person?" Jasper is so damn oblivious. He is tapping his fingers on the table because he is trying to figure out the mystery man that I am talking about. His face is scrunched in deep consideration, but he seems to be having a hard time putting two and two together. I find this so funny because after all of these years of knowing me Jasper has never once come to grasp the fact that I fucking love him from the bottom of my heart.

"He is very funny." I clue in. This is vague. I know that this will make him think harder though.

"I know a lot of funny people Alice. Oh wait, do I even know this dude?"

I snigger to myself. "You know him very well Jasper."

"He is smart and extremely handsome. He makes my heart beat so quickly. Whenever he is around all I can hear is my stupid heart drumming inside of my ears. It becomes so loud to me sometimes that I have to wonder if he can hear it too."

"Whoa...this guy must be the real deal Al. How does he look?"

"His hair is a peculiar color. At first glance it looks sandy brown, but when you get close enough to him you can see several hues of honey blond and gold swirling around in mixtures. His eyes are wide and bright blue with intuition. He is tall...and he's toned, but he is not super burly like Emmett."

"Hold on..." Jasper's eyes widen to a new degree. The smile that creeps onto his face is slow to spread. For a moment I think that he's discovered who my mystery guy is. "You aren't talking about Newton are you?" He scoffs as is he's disgusted.

"Newton?" I am taken aback. "Who the fuck is Newton?"

"Mike Newton." Jasper says in an obvious tone. "Duh, we've been going to school with the kid since kindergarden, but seeing as you don't even know who I am talking about I am fairly positive that he isn't your mystery guy."

"Do you give up then?"

"Will you tell me who it is if I say I give up?"

I shake my head and press my lips together. I want to laugh at him and kiss him at the same time.

"The only other person that I know with blue eyes and blond hair is me, James, and Rosalie...but I doubt that you are a lesbian. Although, that could explain why you have never had a boyfriend before."

Jasper's eyes widen again. "Dude! Do you have a giant lesbian crush on Rosalie?" He almost seems excited by the idea.

"Of course not." I scoff, not because the assumption is ridiculous. Rosalie is beautiful. "I'm not a lesbian Jazz."

"Well, who the fuck is it? Is it James?" Jasper looks like he is getting irritated now. He doesn't like being in the dark about things, especially since he usually always knows everything about everyone. He watches me intently as I shake my head. I want to burst out laughing when he starts pouting. He crosses his arms over his chest and frowns at me from across the table. He looks so comical that I can't even try to take him seriously.

"Who is it then Alice?"

"Why do you want to know so much?"

"Because...I want to know who my best friend is having wet dreams about. I want to know so I can make sure he is good enough for you."

"I think you would approve." I say softly. My voice is in such a high octave, that even when I am talking low the sound of it still reminds me of dangling wind chimes. Jasper's voice is soft, but his voice is lazy. He always sounds laconic...his sentences come out drawn out and long. I think it has something to do with his southern roots. Although, when he talks I never hear any traces of a Texan accent. It is hard to believe that his whole family comes from the south.

"Then tell me who it is. Why are you afraid to tell me? Do you think that I'm going to make fun of you or something?"

"Actually, that does sound like something you would do."

"Yeah." He agrees with me because he can't even lie about that one. "But I promise I won't."

He probably has his fingers crossed underneath the table, but his smile is so sincere and I know for a fact that he will not have anything negative to say about the person I am crushing on.

"You said that you only knew three people with blond hair and blue eyes but you only suggested two of the three."

"What?" Jasper's face scrunches in confusion.

"Why didn't you suggest yourself?"

"Because.." Jasper rolls his eyes. "We're best friends Alice. We're going to grow old together. I know for a fact that you don't like me that way. When I think about people that I like I think about them naked and underneath me. I could never picture you that way Alice. That would be like picturing my little sister underneath me. So stop trying to throw me off and tell me which asshole out here has stolen that fragile little heart of yours so I can break a piece of his face off for collateral."

My heart sinks.

It crashes...and it breaks like a piece of fucking glass.

I swallow my disappointment.

My phone vibrates...

"They found James." I say lowly. My voice is so dejected. I don't even try to put any effort into disguising my discontentment.

"Where was he?" Jasper still seems oblivious.

"He was being held in the security office." Despite the way I am feeling. I smile, because the text message that Edward sent me is just so funny. "He was caught peeking into ladies dressing rooms."

"Yep." Jasper nods his head. "I'm disappointed to call that dude my friend. That sounds precisely like something James would do."

**EDWARD POV**

It doesn't take long for me to convince the security guard to let James go. I tell him that I can slip him a few folded hundreds and a bag of weed if he lets James go and erases the security camera footage.

He agrees, we make our exchanges, and we call it a day.

It's a wonder what kind of stuff sinful pleasures can buy you.

"What the fuck is your problem James?" I ask with a sly smile on my face. I shove him playfully, and watch him stumble around like an idiot until he regains his balance.

"What? I wanted to see some naked asses. I felt like a ninja."

"You probably looked like a fucking creeper."

James flips me off and throws his arms around Alice's dainty little shoulders.

She looks a little sad...

And when she smiles it does not reach her eyes.

I have to wonder for a second what is wrong with her, and when I finally decide to ask her Jake jumps in and starts a conversation before I have the chance to speak.

"What the fuck are we about to do man? It's hella cold out here." We are just kind of standing in the parkinglot and it is cold. Jake has a point.

"Well, I bought this for mom and I have to drop this off at her house before I forget or before one of you idiots fucks up and breaks it."

"You're going to moms?" Emmett asks curiously. He looks tired. He looks down.

I nod, wondering why everyone seems so unhappy now-a-days "You wanna come with me?"

"Nah, I'm ready to go home. Just bring me back a plate of whatever she cooked for dinner today"

"Yeah okay Emmett, I guess you guys can just ride with back home in Jasper's car and Alice can drop Rosalie off on her way."

They all simultaneously agree to my plan.

"Baby." Rosalie wraps her arms around my neck and smiles up at me. "Can you do something for me?"

I smirk, and press my lips to her neck. I can feel her pulse increase under my touch. "I would do anything for you."

"Since you're going to be over there can you drop this off at Bella's house?" Rosalie hands me a Hollister shopping bag. "I want her to know that I was thinking about her."

"Okay." I nod and peck her lips. She pulls me in for a deeper kiss, but we're both cold so we keep our affections to a minimal.

"Think about me okay?" Rosalie asks meekly. I can see just how much she cares for me through the expression on her face.

"You're the only thing I can think about lately." I say truthfully. This makes her smile even more.

Goddamn...

Rosalie Hale is too fucking sexy for her own good.

Eventually we pull apart and we go our separate ways. My old neighborhood is not that far away from the mall. I make it to my mother's house in under thirty minutes. She is surprised to see me on her doorstep at eight o clock at night.

"What are you doing here honey?" She is smiling brightly. Her lips are peppering kisses across my cheeks in record timing. "Is Emmy bear here too? Is Jazzy here?"

"No mom." I chuckle at her and smile. "I'm the only one here. I came to give this to you."

"What is it honey?" She asks curiously.

"I bought you a little present from the mall. It's just a little picture frame. I know that you like them."

"Oh my." My mom puts her hand over her heart as if she is going to faint from my thoughtful gesture. "It just warms my heart to know you're still thinking about your old lady."

"Mom, you know always stay on my mind." This is true. Underneath my well placed facade...I'm secretly a notorious momma's boy.

My mom hugs me some more and she tells me about how we should spend more time together since she's getting older. She promises to cook Jasper a big birthday breakfast on Friday, and she gives me a giant bowl of home made spaghetti to take home to the boys.

Bella's house is near empty. Her mother and father are both at work so I know that she is home alone. I know exactly where they keep the extra key at. I unlock the door myself and step into their house. I am so close to the Swans that they could come home and find me cooking their food and they wouldn't get mad. This is my second home.

The house smells like pasta and cleaning materials which tells me that Bella has recently cooked and cleaned. I journey up the stairs to the second floor with Bella's gift in my hands. Her door is closed, but I do not knock when I enter. It isn't as if I would be seeing anything I have never seen before if I walked in on her changing her clothes.

Sure enough, when I enter her room Bella is sitting on her bed.

Her hair is wet and wild, it is hanging loose across the front and backs of her shoulders. All of her makeup is washed off at the moment...all she has on is a long t shirt and panties.

Bella is beautiful...

That is something that Bella will always be...

When she looks up at me her eyes are void of any interest. "Dimples." She says boredly. "What are you doing here?"

I show her the bag and drop it on the floor by her closet. "Rosalie wanted me to drop this off."

"Of course she did. Is that all you wanted?" Bella's voice has hardened by time she reaches the last word of her sentence, her eyes are as sharp as daggers. My mother would probably be planning my funeral right now if looks actually could kill.

"Bella what the fuck is wrong with you? You've been acting like a bitch all day and it's getting on everyone's nerves."

"Do you think I give a fuck Edward?" Her voice has changed again. I am surprised at how vulnerable she sounds. I have only ever seen Isabella Swan cry once in my entire life and that was the time she broke her wrist while we were roller-blading in the park.

"Can't you tell me what has you pissed off? Is every one on their periods today?"

Bella frowns at me. She slams her magazine closed, and hurls it across the room with and irritated roar. "You Edward! You're the one who has me so pissed off. You just went and picked Rosalie over me. After all of these years you just went and picked her."

My jaw drops.

It almost touches the floor.

Now...I am in my feelings too.

"I can't believe you Bella." I shake my head, eyes lifting to the ceiling in frustration. I can't even look at her right now. "I cannot fucking believe how selfish you are."

Bella is unmoved by my display of anger, but her eyebrows lift in surprise at my insult. "How in the world am I selfish?"

"I've been in love with you all of my life and you've always brushed me off." My voice is faint, but my words do not go unheard. "Now that I've finally decided to move on you want to tell me that you have feelings for me? That you've had feelings all along?"

"You already knew that." She accuses sharply, looking up at me her eyes are vulnerable. I love her so much but right now she's making it easy for me to hate her.

"Yeah, but I didn't think you would mind if I dated someone. I have to watch you flit around on Jasper's arm every single day. How do you think that makes me feel?"

"It's not just the fact that you're dating someone." Bella throws her hands up dramatically, shaking her head, wanting me to understand. "It's the fucking fact that you're dating her. I never thought that you would stop loving me."

She refers to Rosalie as if she is apart of some different kind of species or something.

"You picked the one girl that is better than me. She is prettier than me, and smarter, and more funny."

I am shaking my head in disagreement before Bella even finishes reciting that bull shit. What she just said is hands down the dumbest thing I've ever heard in my seventeen years of life.

"Bella, don't you know that I fucking love you?"

"You have a very peculiar way of showing it." She mumbles, trying very hard to ignore my gaze. "I want you to want me Edward. I want you to choose me over her."

"It was never a choice Bella. It still isn't." The hope that flashes across her eyes is misplaced, it shouldn't be there right now. "That doesn't change anything Bella. I still feel for Rosalie. I am happy."

"I still feel for Jasper...but I know that he's not the one for me."

"You don't know that." I shake my head, I am happy with Rosalie. I have to keep reminding myself that. "You've never tried to accomplish anything with Jasper."

In an instant, Bella blows her fucking top. She's yelling and crying tears of frustration. I hate myself so much right now because I love her more than I know I'll ever love Rosalie. "Why the fuck are you being such a coward Edward?"

"I don't want to hurt anyone Bella." I refuse to jeporadize the person that I know I am for selfish matters like this. I put people before I put myself, my friends are the most important people to me, and I'd do anything to see that they never get hurt.

"So we'd rather hurt ourselves?" A small but very hesitant smile appears on Bella's face. The expression on her face is not one of happiness but of some kind of sadness. "That is one thing that I hate and love about you Edward. You are so selfless but the selfless people are the ones that miss out on things."

"What do you want from me?" I ask softly. My voice is almost indistinct in it's volume. I am confused and afraid of the answer that I might be given.

I am so so confused...

It is silent...

But temptation is calling my name and I am trying my best to resist the urge to answer it.

"I want you Edward."

The temptation is getting stronger and it's not fair at all. Bella has a captavation over me that no other women could ever have. She is all that I've ever wanted and more, and I can't believe that she would do something like this to me. My resolve is weakening. I keep trying to picture Rosalie's face when I think about the girl that I love but Rosalie doesn't have brown hair and brown eyes. The lines between wrong and right are getting blurred.

It is silent...

I am so so confused.

Before I know what I am doing I have crossed the room and I am on Bella's bed. We're leaning towards each other and our lips are touching. Bella's lips are greedy and deliberate against mine. She moves feverishly with me, sending lighting burning through our veins. Electricity is inside of our cores. The lust sparks against us.

From what I remember from three years ago Bella hadn't exactly been the best kisser...but then again I was fourteen so I hadn't really known that much about kissing anyway.

Somehow, our bodies become like magnets and they keep getting closer and closer to each other. It comes to the point where Bella is straddling my lap, her hands tangled in my hair.

I want her so badly. I want to make her mines...

"Fuck...Bella." I pull away from her, my eyes snap close and I suddenly feel very vulnerable. "I...I can't..."

"Why?" Bella's breathing is labored, coming fast. Her cheeks are flushed with a delicious pink tint and her eyes are clouded with a want of more than one kind. "I want you Edward..."

"It's not always all about what you want Bella."

Knowing that I can leave her house tonight with a clear conscience does not do anything to help me because I've tasted the sweetness of her lips, and my heart knows that there will never be another who can quite measure up to her.

I wish for my sake that things were different. I wish for Rosalie's sake that I could love her...


	6. Bells and Jazz

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><p><strong>BELLA POV<strong>

When I wake up the next morning I am disoriented. Not so much that I cannot remember the events that occured in my bed last night, just enough that I can still feel the anger of his rejection swarming throughout my body. I am not bitter for no reason and maybe I am not the notorious bitch that everyone tries to make me out to be either.

Maybe I am not actually a nagging drama queen or an attention seeker. Maybe there is a reason why I have to have all of the eyes on me at all times.

Maybe my mother and father hate each other and have spent their entire lives ignoring the best of me. Maybe the infidelity, lies, and deception inside of my house took away any chances for me to be loved by my parents like a normal kid, so maybe I feel good about myself when I feel wanted.

They were teenagers when they found out that they were pregnant with their precious, little baby girl. They thought that having their darling Isabella would be the icing ontop of their naive cake of happiness. They didn't realize what the extent of having a baby so young would do to any potential they had of ever being happy in the future.

They both had to find full time jobs when they graduated high school just to pay for a shabby one bed room apartment and baby diapers. The stress of working so hard started to get to them when they realized that their desires began to clash. Renee had dreams. She didn't want her life to stop because she had a kid. She wanted to travel, experience new things, accomplish all of her goals. But Charlie was content with what he had. He wanted to stay in Forks and raise his baby girl in this small town. He didn't have goals but to complete his police academy training.

This polar opposite of wants caused confusion and conflict. Renee started to resent Charlie because she knew that there was no possible way that she could survive without him. She was a minimum wage making waitress and nowadays people had to have two full time jobs just to make ends meet.

I guess her realization conjured up the idea to find a "NEW" Charlie. She met Phil at the local diner that she used to work at. He was a married business man with a fetish for young women. He pampered my mother with the ideas of making her wildest dreams come true and she relinquished her body to him in exchange. He promised her that he would leave his wife and kids to start a new life with her and she believed every single word that he said.

She went home and packed her bags. She told Charlie that she'd found somebody who loved her enough to help her do the things that she's always wanted to do. I can't imagine how this must of broken Charlie's heart. To know that his wife was leaving him for another man, and all he could do was watch her leave.

Renee wasn't the only person who could lie though. She went to the motel where she would meet with Phil to have their affair, and she waited for him to show up for her. He never did. He didn't answer her phone calls but left her waiting in the rain with crushed dreams instead. She had no choice but to go crawling back into the life that she hated.

My parents resent me because I am what trapped them together, and they show me their anger by acting as if I am invisible. To them I have no more substance than that of a ghost. I am nothing worth showering attention on.

So the attention that I recieve from the people at my school is somehow energizing. It fills me up with a false hope that people actually notice me enough to like me. Knowing that the guys will line up at my doorstep for a chance to date me or that the girls will cut each other's hair off to be my friend; it makes me feel special. And no one has never put effort into making me feel special before.

I do not show people the vulnerable side of me, so most people do not believe that there is a vulnerable side. The only layer that I ever display to outsiders is my foreskin. It is the facade that I am tough. I am not tough. On the inside, I am just a big bag of fluffy marshmallows.

But Rosalie doesn't know that I take comfort in the attention that I recieve from people around me, and Edward doesn't know that the attention he's showed me all of these years is one of the things that has made me fall in love with him. She took away one of the only people who actually do care about me. She took away the one of the only people who notices every single thing about me.

They don't know that I feel so unwanted sometimes that I want to kill myself just to see who will care. My parents probably won't even notice if I'm gone. Edward and Rosalie most definitely wouldn't notice.

None of them know that on the inside my heart is crying and they still won't know because when I step foot into that school building I will be the Bella that everyone knows and loves.

**~~~~WDYWFM**

"Good morning Bella." I turn away from my locker but only slightly. The sound of Rosalie and Alice's voice seeps into my awareness at once, and I can see them bounding up to my locker from out of my peripheral. "Did you have fun sitting at home alone last night?"

I face myself towards Rosalie and I am not surprised by the swarm of sour feelings that spread throughout me. I am tempted to tell her just how much she has made me hate her in the last few days but I have enough self control to keep myself from actually doing it.

I smile at her and it is the most faked smile I have ever worn in my life. It almost hurts my cheeks in the effort it takes to hold that big of a lie upon my face. "I finished all of my homework, cooked myself something to eat, and bummed around for the rest of the night."

"Did Edward have a chance to drop off the shirt that I bought you?"

I unbutton my coat to reveal the blue hollister sweater that Rosalie got for me last night. It is a thoughtful gesture and I appreciate it immensly. At least I know that someone was thinking about me. "Thanks for thinking of me Rosie."

"I thought about you too Belly!" Alice exclaims, throwing her tiny arms around my torso. She feels no heavier than a feather and her display of endearment brings a genuine smile to my face this time. "You really should have come Bella. The movie was terribly scary."

"No, you're just a punk Alice." I say playfully, but my eyes tend to drift down the hall. I can spot Edward, Jasper, and the rest of the boys on their way towards us. My entire body is immediately filled with anxiety.

I chance a glance at Rosalie and Alice to see if the two of them noticed any changes in my expression, but their eyes are both glued on two very different things and those things have absolutely nothing to do with me.

Rosalie is wearing a blatant look of adoration upon her face and she is smiling directly at Edward. I have no problem understanding where her endearment is coming from, but when I look at Alice and see that she has the same exact look of adoration on her face; I have to stop and ask myself who the fuck does she adore...

And then it hits me like a ton of damn bricks...

Her eyes are trained soley on Jasper Whitlock.

I am not given enough time to process this information before Jasper is wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me against him. I still melt into his touch because I love Jasper. That will never change.

"How did you sleep Princess?" He presses a kiss to my cheek, and waits in expectance for my answer. His eyes are dark but warm this morning. I am in love with the fact that he actually does care about these things that he's asking me.

I allow myself a quick glance at Edward. Rosalie is dousing his face in an overload of kisses and he is smiling down at her in a way that makes the heat of envy replace all of the blood that is flowing through my body. I decide not to let the two of them bother me, but take care in watching Alice as she watches Jasper and I.

"I slept well." I push his curly hair away from his face. "Why do you ask?"

"Because I wasn't there of course. I could have made you sleep like a baby." His voice is suggestive in a way that makes me smile.

"When I woke up this morning I was already a little sore."

"That's all me baby." Jasper smacks another playful kiss onto my cheek. "It doesn't usually hit you until a few days later. Ask around about me."

"Oh Jazz." I roll my eyes and glance at Alice. She's looking at us and I try to figure out how I never noticed the jealousy inside of her eyes before. "Don't lie to yourself. It'll only disappoint us both."

A small smirk twitches at the corner of Jaspers mouth and he leans down to press a soft kiss to my lips. I feel a warmth at once but it isn't half as intense as the sparks that Edward gave me yesterday. There is now two people staring at the interaction between Jasper and I. One of the people has messy hair and the other one looks like a fairy. Jasper pays attention to neither of our speculators.

"What did you get me for my birthday Princess?"

"It's a surprise."

Jasper has turned eighteen today. It is a wonder that he's all grown up now. It seems like just yesterday when we were riding the school bus together and sharing graham crackers at snack time. It's funny how many things can change in the course of ten years. We all went from loving each other like a family to secretly hating each other's guts. I have to wonder for a second just how many people pretend to like me but actually don't.

"Ooh." His blue eyes enhance with the mention of a surprise. Jasper reminds me of a little kid. I know that he will always be a kid at heart. "I hope it's birthday sex. You know that's what I want right?"

I chuckle lightly. "You just might get it. Keep your fingers crossed buddy."

The warning bell rings promptly. I am not entirely thrilled to go to my first hour since I share this class with Rosalie, and I just know that she is going to want to tell me every detail about her love life with Edward.

"Bella, why are you walking so fast?" Rosalie scurries to catch up with me. I am already halfway to our classroom. "In a hurry to see Mr. McAfee?"

I offer Rosalie a small smile and when I glance at her; I hate her for being so damn beautiful. "Mr. McAfee can hold me after class whenever he wants to."

We both chuckle at my crude joke and find our way into the classroom. We are greeted by several of our classmates. I cannot deny that I feel like a somebody when I witness so many people watching me in adoration.

"Hey Bella." Jessica stanley says from across the room. "What are the plans for Jasper's brithday today?"

"We're renting out this new club for his party. It's called 'The Antidote'. Have you ever heard of it?"

Jessica nods her head, "What time should we all get there?"

"We'll probably get Jasper there at ten something, but the party starts at nine."

"He's going to have so much fun." Rosalie says, taking a seat beside me. "I can't believe that we're finally getting up there. We're about to be grown and graduated Bella. Isn't that exciting?"

"I wonder what's going to happen when we all go off to college. I know for a fact that I'm not staying here in Forks, but Jasper and James are pretty much community college bound at this point."

"Oh Bella." Rosalie pulls out her materials, and smiles wryly as she begins copying down the notes that are on the board in the front of the class. "I'm sure that we'll all keep in touch no matter where we end up going for college. We're all too good of friends to ever lose our friendship."

I don't even acknowledge the fact that Rosalie's view of the future is a fairytale, I keep looking straight ahead with the same casual expression. "I hope you're right Rosalie."

First period is suprisingly pleasant as I'd forgotten that we had to take a diagnostic test today. Rosalie didn't get a chance to banter on about how in love she is with Edward. We were on two different sides of the room and the test took almost the whole period to complete.

Her next class is in building two so she doesn't have time to walk with me to second period. This is the class that I share with Emmett. I spot him doodling on his notebook, he looks up at me when I enter the classroom. There is a look of warm recognition that he wears for me.

"Hey Bella." His greeting is nice and short. "Was everyone talking non-stop about Jasper's party in your first hour too?"

I nod my head and take my seat beside him. I have something on my mind that I want to announce. I want to tell somebody and I know that Emmett is least likely the person to have trouble keeping things to himself. He has a better track record keeping secrets than I can say of some of my other friends.

"Emmett I have to tell you something."

Emmett raises his eyes up from his notebook, peering at me with curious green eyes. "What is it Bella?"

"I don't know Em." I tilt my head to the side in thought, he watches me as he waits patiently for me to speak. "Have you ever noticed anything about the way that Alice feels about Jasper."

His eyes widen, with an emotion that I do not quite catch before they fall flat again. He considers what I have said for a few moments before chuckling to himself with a hidden humor. "You mean besides the fact that she is totally in love with him right?"

"What? How did you know that?"

"I think everybody with eyes knows that Alice has a thing for Jasper. And if they don't know they at least have some kind of idea. You and Jasper were probably the only two people who completely oblivious."

"Well, why hasn't she ever said anything about it?"

He seems to not have heard me at first. Either that or he chooses not to immediately respond. He sits and looks at me with an expression that I do not like. I feel almost like he's judging me in some kind of way. "What good would that have done?"

"What do you mean?"

"Oh, come on Bella." Emmett rolls his eyes, his tone has taken an exasperated edge upon it. "You have Jasper wrapped around those pretty little fingers of yours. Do you think he has eyes for anyone else."

"Now, don't even sit there and lie Emmett. You know that I am not the only girl who Jasper is involved with. He has no reservations whatsoever when it comes to the opposite sex."

"Yeah, you're right Bella." His voice is oddly dismissive, as if he has no interest in having this conversation with me. "But now there's just one question left to ask."

"And what might that be Emmett?" I cannot quite hide the fact that I am offended.

"What are you going to do now that you know how Alice feels about him?"

**JASPER POV**

Today is my eighteenth birthday bitches. That means that I have been alive for eighteen fucking years. I have beat the odds. I hope every one knows what that means...

I am officially a man now. I can now buy ciggarettes, I can get legal shit put in my name, and I can finally drink alcohol without the fucking police being up my ass.

No wait, I still can't legally drink alcohol but that's okay because today I'm getting some birthday sex.

"What the fuck do you losers want to do tonight?" We're sitting in the school cafeteria and I am almost disappointed in myself for even deciding to show up to school today. I should have been somewhere sleeping in room right now so that I'd be completely energized for the events that I am going to make happen tonight. "I plan to party hard."

Bella chuckles and rolls her eyes at me. After she's done taking a dainty little bite from her burnt cafeteria pizza she says, "We're taking you to an awesome club down town."

"Cool." I smirk as I lean back in my chair, I definitely wasn't about to sit around and do nothing. If they weren't down to party I was going to find a party by my own damn self. "I'm going to have to beat bitches off of my dick with a spatula tonight."

"If there are bitches on your dick it's not like your going to actually have a problem with it." Emmett says wryly to which I bump his fist in agreement.

"That's so gross." Bella complains indignantly, I can see the little green-eyed monster taking over her. She's had my dick plenty of times before. She's tasted it and she's felt it so Bella knows exactly why so many girls are addicted to me. "Why is the only thing you care about is sticking your penis inside of a vagina?"

"I care about sticking it in a mouth too and occasionally a female's ass."

Bella makes a gagging sound and shakes her head with condescension. "Well, I hope you're going to have fun extracting STDs. You're such a fucking pig Jasper."

"I don't get STD's Princess." Duh...that is why they invented the condom.

"Are you like the only human being on this earth immune to getting diseases?" James asks playfully. He needs to shut the hell up because he fucks more than I do and I'm pretty sure he's too high all of the time to even think about using protection.

I flip him the bird. "Dude, no I'm just not a dumbass. I don't fuck random bitches without condoms."

"Sure you don't." Emmett says mock-skeptically, he looks at Bella and smiles suggestively. "Hey Bella, has Jasper ever gone bare back on you?"

Bella's face blushes bright pink as the whole table begins to chuckle with amusement. "You guys are fucking dicks."

I look at Bella and I catch her looking at Alice. My eyes move to see what she finds so interesting about Ally-cat and I see that Alice looks a little uncomfortable. I am curious to know why but since Bella doesn't say anything about it; neither do I.

"So, what is plan for tonight then?" Rosalie asks, she's sittng as close to Edward as she possibly can without actually being in his lap. I have my doubts that everyone at this table is completely fine with their new found romance. Two people at this table are probably really fuming on the inside, but we all pretend to be happy for them because that's what we do. We lie to each other. "Like what time are we all going to meet up?"

"We're all going to meet up at the boys' house around nine." Bella clarifies, she is usually the one who comes up with the plans when it comes down to us all doing something.

After lunch is over the rest of the day passes in a freaking blur. I can not concentrate on any of my class work because I know tonight is going to be epic, and everyone keeps talking about how excited they are for tonight. There are people who knew about my plans for tonight before I even did. This tells me that my friends must have something planned that they haven't told me about yet.

I hope it's a stripper inside of a birthday cake...

**~~~~WDYWFM**

"I called mom today. She said that she is going to make you breakfast for your birthday Jazz."

"Cool, I miss her cooking. She makes the best fucking pancakes." I say, raking my hands through my mess of golden hair. Sometimes I can't tell if my hair is supposed to be curly, wavy, or both. All I know is that it's a disorder and chicks think that shit is hot.

"What's the time Ed?"

Edward looks down at his thousands of dollars costing watch and smirks at me. "It's just about time for the girls to start arriving."

We're about to party. I do not know which club we're going to but I do know that there is going to be alcohol and horny girls there. It's like close to nine something and all of us are already done getting ready because we started getting ready three hours ago. I swear when five dudes live in the same house it's almost impossible to get into the fucking bathroom. They're like females sometimes.

When the girls arrive they all look sexy as hell and I decide that I'd fuck all three of them if I were ever given the chance. I hope they all are aware of what I would like for a personal birthday gift.

My eyes can't help but to land on Rosalie first because she is the spit fire out of the three. She has on a very tight fitted dress. It's like firetruck red and it's short as fuck. There are no straps on the dress so the only thing that is holding the piece of fabric up are her curves and tits. She's flamboyantly obvious with her sex appeal. She's sporting the smokey eye and the blown out waves. She is conspicuous and I just know that guys are going to be on hard tonight from just smelling a whiff of her perfume.

Bella is more subtle with her sexiness. She has always been the least outrageous out of three and has stood out for her dominant presence instead. She has on a pair of white skinny jeans with a pair of matching white-gold stilettos. Her shirt is a shimmering gold color, it wraps around her neck and leaves her entire back showing. Her long, dark hair is pinned back but most of it still hangs over the back and fronts of her shoulders.

Alice is the person I have to do a double take on though. She has on the shortest black dress that I've ever seen in my entire eighteen years of life. It is asymmetrical and drapes on one of her shoulders. The torso is a smooth satin material, but the skirt part poofs out into a ruffled tu-tu. Her shoes are ridiculously high-heeled booties, and they make her almost as tall as Bella without heels. Her hair is not spiky tonight, but instead is flowing neatly to her shoulders in loose waves.

I have never seen Alice look this good before. I am a little surprised that I'm attracted to her.

"Damn Jasper, close your fucking mouth." Bella snaps, her eyes are a little hard around the edges. I think I smell jealously coming on. "You're looking at Alice like you want to attack her or something."

"While she's wearing that dress attacking her is just what I might do." I say this, maybe to spite Bella a little bit. But also because I want Alice to know just how sexy she looks. I know she has self-esteem issues and sometimes people need to remind her how stunning she really is.

Bella and Alice blush at the same time. Though I am fairly positive that the two of them are blushing for two different reasons. Alice is flattered by my compliment and Bella is jealous because no one's jaw as dropped at the sight of her yet, but Bella already knows that she's beautiful.

"Come on guys. Let's make it to the club by ten o clock." Edward suggests placidly, He has a wide smile on his face. He's probably high. We did smoke a joint before the girls arrived. "And just because it is a special occasion we can take the Aston Martin."

"Coolness. I'm driving!" I shout as I grab the car keys and sprint for the door before Edward can catch me.

A very brief argument occurs about who should drive the Aston Martin. Edward accuses me of being a reckless driver after bringing up the fact that I have tons of unpaid speeding tickets all over the house, and I accuse Edward of driving like a maniac after I bring up that one incident when he flew out of the school parking lot at eighty miles per hour and ran into the stop sign on the next street.

Eventually it gets settled and I am stuck in the fucking passenger's seat. Thirty minutes later we are pulling up in front of a club called "The Antidote". Edward gives his name to the bouncer and we are all let in free of charge.

On the inside it is dark, the lime-lights are going, the music is playing, and tons of people are gyrating all over the place.

I recognize all the people that are here in the club. They are all of my classmates and drunk ass friends.

"Dude..." I nudge Edward in the shoulder, there is a smile creeping onto my face. "Did you buy out the whole club for my birthday?"

Edward shakes his head. "Not this time. We all pitched in on this one Jazz. It was Alice's idea."

I turn to look at Alice and she smiles up at me nicely. "Happy birthday Jazzy-wazzy."

"You organized this Tinkerbell?" I am not shocked. Anyone of them would have done it. Everybody loves me.

She nods her head modestly. "I wanted you to have an awesome birthday."

"Well, you know what that means now don't you?" I am already planning out my events of the night, and I am really trying not to include Alice in the explicit ones. So far it isn't really working.

"What?" As if she doesn't already know.

I throw my arm over her slender shoulders and chuckle at her. "You're going to give me my first body shot of the night Sweetheart."

So, on begins the start of my constant partying. I am determined to have alcohol poisioning by the end of this night.

Hold on, wait...did we ever decide on a designated driver?

Alice willingly gives me my body shot, Rosalie and Edward go somwhere to dance, James goes to find some girls to fuck with, Emmett and Jake drag Bella away to the dancefloor to potentially rape her, and that leaves a drunken me with Alice Brandon.

"Do you want another shot?" The bartender asks me with a sly smile on his face. "We've been given orders from the boss to give the birthday boy as many drinks as his heart desires. You're going to be so fucked up by midnight dude."

I hear a laugh before I realize that it is my own, I give the bartender a thumbs up whilst glancing down at Alice. "Do you want another shot?"

She shakes her head "No, I want to dance now."

She stands up from the bar stool and grabs my hand expectantly. We slither our way through the crowded people around the bar and try to slip into an open space on the dancefloor. I am not too drunk to dance and that is a problem. I want to be wasted beyond comprehension before this night is over.

Our dancing starts off as innocent fun. I am dancing behind Alice, not exactly touching her because my mind is producing some not so innocent thoughts and I don't want my intentions to seem duplictious. Alice is one of my closest friends. Her friendship is not something that I would like to jeporadize.

I am a very charismatic person. Which also means that I am very manipulative. I can have a girl stripping down for me after minutes of meeting them. I know exactly how to get my way in every aspect of life. You just have to always know the right things to say, and I've said so many right things that they come natural to me now. If I want it I'm going to get it.

But I do not want to take advantage of Alice even if my mind is clouded with lust. I am not going to touch her unless she wants me to.

What starts off as innocent immediately escalates into something totally non-innocent, and it is surprisingly not by my doing.

Alice is the one who takes my hands and places them onto her hips.

"I want you to touch me." She says boldly, and I have to wonder where she is pulling this confidence from. Alice has always been soft-spoken. A mouse almost. She is a mouse no more.

I open my mouth to respond with one of my randomly witty comebacks, but she pushes her ass into me and starts grinding without warning.

"Oh shit Alice." I am smiling, but I am also trying desperately hard not to get too carried away. Alice is a virgin so I know that she is not down to fuck. "Are you trying to tease me? Why are you shaking all the goods on me that you're not going to give away?"

"Who says I won't give them away?" Alice says, and I do not miss that her voice is oddly seductive. I can hardly stand it. My regular-sober self would never fathom the thought of taking Alice's virginity but my drunk self will not put it out of mind.

"Don't say things that you don't mean Tinkerbell." My hands are already on her hips, I grip them a little tighter and pull her ass against me again. She can feel the effect that her grinding has done to me. "You don't want that. You don't even know what to do with it."

Alice spins herself around to face me. A slight frown is blemishing her expression. "Why don't you show me what to do then?"

I think she is bluffing. In fact, I know for sure that she's not about that life. Alice isn't down to get fucked.

"Grab it." My voice is a challenge in itself. I only ask her to do it because I know that she is going to falter, and if she falters I am going to walk away from her and find some random bitch to fuck. I can't have Alice hating me because of a decision that she'll regret later.

Innocent blue eyes of a virgin widen at my blunt request but Alice doesn't immediately say no like I thought she would.

To my amazement, she actually reaches forward and runs the tips of her fingers along the bulge in the front of my jeans. She's not so sure of what she should be doing. She's touching me but I can barely feel it.

I don't want to be caressed. I want to fucking get off.

I suppress a growl before grabbing her hand and pushing it completely against my erection.

"I said grab it. I didn't say touch it like you're afraid of it."

Alice looks up at me under her thick fringe of eyelashes. "I'm not afraid of it." She grabs it confidently. My mouth falls open and she smiles. "I want it. I want you Jasper. I want you to fuck me tonight."

"You don't know what you're saying Alice." I shake my head, I am not drunk enough to lose my decision making abilities. "I am not about to take your virginity in a fucking club bathroom."

"Who said anything about a bathroom?" Her eyebrows raise and she looks so sure of herself. Is this the fucking twilight zone or something? "This club has private rooms. I picked this one on purpose Jasper."

"Oh fuck." I look down at her, there is something telling me not to give into my desires. Those darkened icy eyes are staring up at me, looking into my own to find something that I am not quite so sure of. "What the fuck is happening?"

She gains another burst of confidence when she reaches and grabs my erection again, this time with no instruction from me.

"Well, I'm trying to seduce you." Her voice is so casual that it almost amuses me.

"It's working Tinkerbell. Trust me." I have a more difficult time trying to keep my voice completely nonchalant. At this point I'm only one step away from ripping off that punk ass dress and fucking her right here on the dance floor.

"What are you waiting for then? I'm not drunk Jasper. I'm making this decision with a totally clear mind."

"Please don't hate me." I can't fucking control myself anymore. I grab Alice's face between my hands and in the next moment my lips are pressed against hers. I am not careful with this kiss. I am sucking her bottom lip into my mouth, nibbling, and seeking out her own tongue.

She is not as up to speed as I am. I believe it is because of her lack of experience. The furthest I think Alice has ever gone is second base.

Her little hands grip the fabric of my shirt. She tries to hold onto me because I am moving so quickly. She probably doesn't even feel us moving through the crowd. The private rooms are up the stairs that are located by the entrance doors. I have to break our kiss to maneuver us up the spiraling staircase. I do not miss the dark glitter that is now evident inside of her eyes.

The fact that she is turned on is turning me on even more.

I've already decided that I can not uphold the gentle pretenses. I can not fuck Alice softly. I'm already too far gone and she asked for this. She practically begged for it.

The private room is almost like a lounge. There are like three of them and Alice and I choose the closest one to the staircase. I try to disregard the thought of how many other people possibly fucked on the same bed that I am about to destroy Tinkerbell on.

"Get on the bed." I say, I don't have time for the fore-play bullshit. I don't know what Alice has done to me but I'm so hard right now that my dick actually hurts. "Take your panties off."

The fact that she does not hesitate is what surprises me the most. I am steadily looking for a sign that indicates that she does not really want this. That way I would have an excuse to make myself walk away from this situation, but there is no way in hell that I'm stopping without a sign first.

"Turn around." I instruct, making quick work to get my belt undone. I do not take my pants all the way off. Just enough so that I can pull myself out through my boxers. "On your knees."

I maneuver her to the edge of the bed, which is low enough to allow me to stand at perfect alignment with her. My dick is throbbing in my hands and I'm so close to her. I can push right in and take her without a second thought. Alice would probably start crying her little eyes out if I tried to fuck her like that.

"Do you want this Alice?"

She looks back but does not move out of the position that I have her in. I have never seen a person more sure of something before. Because when her eyes meet mines I see a certainty inside of them. This is the part where I realize that either way; there is no going back from this.

I don't even give it another thought.


	7. Rosie and James

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><p><strong>ROSALIE POV<strong>

We have only been in this club for a few hours, but right now it is very apparent that a few hours is more than enough time to consume way too much alcohol. I am wasted and I'm sad to admit that being wasted is the only thing that I am absolutely sure of at the moment. I am definitely going to have a hangover in the morning, and I will not be the least bit surprised if I puke or pass out by the end of this eventful night.

I just wish that I knew where all of my friends have wandered off to.

Edward excused himself to the restroom while we were busy dancing, but that was over thirty minutes ago. I am starting to worry that he might have gotten sick or something.

I haven't seen Alice or Jasper since they were sitting at the bar taking body shots off of each other, Emmett and Jake took Bella to the dance floor. I haven't spotted them since, and James is probably off somewhere being James. And by being James I mean that my dear cousin is probably off somewhere getting a blowjob by some random bitch that he stumbled upon

"Rosalie?" I am happy that I have finally come across someone who might know where my friends are. "You don't look too hot."

"Hey Jess. I don't feel too hot either." I manage to greet her with a small smile, but she is swaying her hips in such a circular motion that it's making me kind of sick. "Have you seen Edward?" I ask curiously. I feel dizzy watching her ungraceful movements and I desperately want to look away but I can't.

I watch her intently as she tries to regain the memory that she has probably lost due to her alcohol consumption. Her dancing stops and her face scrunches up for a moment before she finally smiles and nods her head.

"I saw him and Bella leaving out of the entrance door a little while ago, but I haven't seen them come back in yet."

I am extremely surprised by this information, but only because I can't fathom a reason why the two of them would be leaving with together without telling anyone else about it. I do not want to seem like the jealous girlfriend type but it is blatantly obvious that Bella doesn't fully agree with Edward's choice in me.

I do not want to seem like a bad friend either, but it is also blatantly obvious that Bella is a selfish person. I do not want to think of her as someone who might sabotage someone else for her own personal gain, but unfortunately that does seem like something she would do. "Do you know where they went Jessica?"

Jessica shrugs her shoulders nonchalantly. Her mind is not on anything but continuing her partying. She is so far gone I have to wonder if alcohol is the only thing she has been dabbling in tonight. "Nope." She smiles widely. "But I did see Alice and Jasper going up those stairs over there and I think I saw James and Jake at the bar."

"Have you seen Emmett?" She shakes her head and continues to dance. I figure that this is all I am going to get out my drunken friend so I thank her for the information that she has given me, and make my way towards the stairs that she saw Jasper and Alice going up. They might know where Edward and Bella have gone.

The staircase spirals up into a whole other section of the club. On the second floor there is another smaller bar and a V.I.P booth. Since the whole club has been rented out for Jasper tonight we are entitled to amble through every square inch of this place.

I do not spot Jasper or Alice. All of the faces that I see are familiar, but they are not the faces of the people that I want to see right now.

I see a hallway over to the right of the bar and my curiosity gets the best of me.

The hallway holds three rooms. I do not know what these rooms are. I am just about to turn around and head back downstairs when I hear a familiar male voice coming from behind one of the doors. The voice is not talking, but instead reaches my ears in the octave of a moan. Now I have an idea of what these rooms are being used for.

Some clubs have private rooms where people can go to get there issues off. Some people just can't wait until they get home to hook-up.

I approach the door with a hesitance of more than one type, but I do not hesitate to press my ear against it. I may just be paranoid from the booze inside of my system. This might not even be who I think it is and if it is not; I definitely don't want to be caught listening in on someone while they are getting off.

I hear the male voice moan again. I want to open the door to prove to myself that this is not Edward. I want to make myself believe that Edward would never do anything that might hurt me, but I cannot quite stop my mind from racing with the posibilities of what could be happening behind that door. My heart is thudding against my chest and in any second it just might burst through.

There is something close to devestation making it's way within my body. The drop in my stomach prepares me for the pieces that my heart is going to shatter into.

I can open the door that my ear is pressed against or I can just turn around and walk away. What do I want to witness? Do I really want to see Edward fucking another girl behind my back? Do I really want to see Bella's evil smirk if she is the girl that he is fucking? I start to contemplate my next moves but this may not be the best of my good ideas because I am drunk and everyone knows that intoxicated people do not always make the best decisions.

"Oooh Jasssper!" I am shocked into extreme fucking incredulity when I hear someone moan this from behind the door that is right next to the one my ear is currently pressed against. My eyes widen because I know exactly who that high soprano voice belongs to.

I decide that I have heard enough. I do not want to stand and listen to people fucking each other anymore than I want to pluck all of my eyelashes off one by one, but the door that I am leaning against swings open just as I am about to turn and walk away. Since I am extremely uncoordinated at the moment, my balance and timing is off. I end up landing hard into someone's chest.

When I look up into my captor's eyes I am shocked. There is a warmth inside of those green orbs that I've seen far too many times before. The gasp that leaves my mouth is one of disbelief.

My eyes move to glance behind him at the girl that is standing to his left. Her eyes are dark and emotional. A smirk lifts the corners of her mouth when she sees the expression on my face, and then she has the nerve to shake her head.

I cannot believe the situation that I have found myself in. I do not know what to feel about this...

For the first time in a very long time I feel heat rising up to my cheeks. I do not have to see my reflection to know that I am blushing.

My face is warm with embarrassment.

"Rosie?" My eyes raise to meet those of wry recognition, Emmett is peering down at me with pursed lips. His dimples are now threatening to show. I can tell that he wants to laugh at me so badly because all three of us know that I have just been caught listening to him have sex with the girl who is beside him. "Were you just listening to us?"

I look at him and then I look at Lauren Mallory. They both are waiting for my answer.

"Wow Rosalie, if you wanted in all you had to do was ask." I want to tell Lauren to shut the fuck up, but I don't because I can't bring myself to speak.

What would I say? Would I tell my Emmett that I had my ear pressed against the door because I thought that I was listening to my boyfriend cheat on me with one of our best friends? Would he think that I was utterly and completely crazy? Would my broken brain even be able to articulate this thoroughly or would I just end up making myself seem like more of a weirdo if I tried to explain myself?

"I'm sorry." I sigh softly. My head is reeling. I am relieved that Edward wasn't behind that door, but I am still curious about where he and Bella have run off to. "I am too fucking drunk."

"Well, that's apparent." I spin myself around, a little too quickly I may add; when I hear Bella's voice.

She is looking at me with an amused expression on her face. Edward is at her side. What the fuck?

"Where the hell were you two at?" I look at Edward. His hair is messy like he's just had some wild sex, but that observation is invalid because his hair is always messy. Everything else on him looks orderly and regular.

"I was in the bathroom puking my brains out." Edward declares calmly, and now that I look at him closely his skin is a little paler than it usual. That still doesn't explain why he's been gone for so long or why Bella is just automatically at his side.

"This idiot left me on the dance floor." Bella shoots Emmett a mock scowl before smiling at him. "But now I see why." She is referring to fact that Lauren is behind him, and they are both shining with that post-coital glow.

"Where did Jake go?" Emmett asks curiously.

"To the restroom." Edward replies, fighting the amusement that tries to spread a smile across his face. "I ran into Bella when she was helping him get into the stall."

"So, where is he now?"

"He's probably passed out against the toilet seat or something." Bella says, all while smiling and chuckling to herself. "That's what his dumb ass gets. He drank continuous shots of vodka, tequila, rum, gin, and god knows what else. I told him to slow down on the alcohol, but he didn't listen."

"That sucks." I say, shaking my head a little for Jacob's sake. "But at least everyone else is having fun...especially Alice and Jasper."

"Where are they?" Bella asks, the curiosity in her tone is demanding. She does not miss the suggestiveness that I make purposely obvious for her. I can see the "bitch face" replacing the placidness in her expression. I am doubtful that Bella will be happy once she finds out about Jasper's escapades with Tinkerbell.

I point to the rooms down the hallway. During our conversation our group managed to work it's way back towards the top of the staircase. Bella follows my finger to the private rooms and her eyes narrow just a little.

"What is she doing in there with him?"

Emmett chuckles, because she thinks she doesn't know exactly what she knows. Bella is not a dull girl. It doesn't take a genuis to guess what the two of them are doing together in that room. "She is doing the same exact thing you did to him when you ended up in his bed last weekend."

"Ughh! He is such a fucking pig!" Bella's drama queen act kicks in, and she stomps down the stairs like a little child. I have to refrain from giggling as I watch her petite little body disappearing in the swarm of people that are crowding at the bottom of the staircase.

When she is out of sight Emmett lets out a loud guffaw. The sound of his laughter is so jubilant and boyish. It fits perfectly with the youthfulness of his face. "Little Bella just doesn't know what she wants does she?"

"Who cares." Lauren says dismissively. She doesn't quite favor Bella for some reason and I agree with her for once. "Everyone doesn't always get what they want."

"That's true but Bella's the only exception to that rule." Emmett says wryly. His next move is so quick that I can't be sure that he really does it or not, but I think I see him send Edward an intentional little smile. But when I look at Edward he doesn't seem to have acknowledged Emmett's astuteness at all. "Well let's not just stand here like a bunch of idiots. Let's go do the rest of our partying."

We party.

We party hard.

We party hard like mother fucking rockstars...

We drink more alcohol and we get drunker...

We smoke and we get higher...and eventually we all fall down.

**JAMES POV**

I am not in my own bed when I resurface, but from the moment that I knew we were throwing Jasper a party I was well aware of the possibility that something crazy like this was going to happen. I just knew that I was going to be the one it had to happen to.

I can tell that I am in a hospital room as soon as I open my eyes. I've been here too many times not to recognize the chipping wallpaper and the gross aroma of sterilizing chemicals and old people. My nostrils burn from the intensity of the smell and my skull is kind of throbbing uncontrollably. As a matter of fact, my entire face hurts and my right leg is hovering in the air on a fucking harness.

Can someone fucking remind me how I broke my leg?

I struggle to bring myself into a sitting position, but when I do I notice that I am not alone.

"Good morning jackass." Edward smirks and then winces. There is a bruise going around his left eye in the shape of a dark, purple ring. The whole left side of his face is swollen. He looks dehydrated and hungover. "Last night was crazy wasn't it?"

"Yeah." I chuckle and nod, even though I really have no memory beyond three minutes ago. "I totally agree with you but I literally can not remember one fucking thing from yesterday."

"Dude, are you fucking serious?" Edward eyes widen momentarily, gazing at me with an incredulous look. I would know that look from anywhere. I must have fucked up again. Why doesn't that come to a surprise to me? "You really don't remember how you broke your leg?"

"No, seriously. Yesterday night is a blank slate to me." I close my eyes and lean back against the hospital bed, I'm actually kind of eager to find out what I did last night. I'm just positive that my mother and father were called. "What happened?"

"Your drunk ass tried to grab the wheel from me while I was driving home. You made me swerve into the sidelines on the fucking highway."

"You crashed the Aston Martin?" Edward looks at me as if the answer to my question isn't blatantly obvious. My leg is hoisted up in the air and his eye is barely open. How else could that shit have happened?

"Yes James. My car is totaled. We're lucky my dad was your doctor last night otherwise we would have been charged with a DUI."

"We're lucky that we're not dead." I chuckle to myself. I really need to stop being so careless. One day I really am going to fuck up and end up killing myself. "Did anyone else get hurt?"

"Nah." Edward shakes his head and I am a bit relieved. I wouldn't want anyone else's injuries on my conscience. "Jasper, Emmett, and Jake were all in the backseat. They just got jostled around a little bit. Jasper busted his lip against the window but nothing serious."

"What happened with the girls?"

"They all got home safely. We called them and told them about what happened but my dad wouldn't let you have any visitors. He wanted you to get some rest. They should be releasing you this afternoon when your parents come to sign the paperwork."

My mood completely deflates with the mentioning of my parents. There's something interesting about that one little thing that can completely drain all of the happiness out of your system. No one ever sees the side of James that does not wear the mask for comfort.

There is something I want to say to Edward. There is something that I have on my mind. I have had this on my mind for a few days now but I haven't gotten the chance to talk to Edward alone. I haven't been serious or sober enough to actually have this conversation with him. Now that every silly bone in my body has been broken; I am ready to get this off of my chest.

This is heavy...

"So." I look at Edward. His green eyes are vibrant with deceit. "We need to have a talk buddy."

"Oh no, are you breaking up with me James?" Edward rolls his eyes. He's all jokes this morning but only to cover up what truly lurks inside of him. "What do we need to talk about?"

"Secrets." I say simply there is nothing more and nothing less.

"What secrets?" Edward doesn't look too guilty but Edward has always been a good liar. Under that entire golden boy facade he's just as shady as the rest of us. He does not know that he is like glass to me. He is completely translucent in the way that he tries to hide from me. I can see right through him.

"Your secrets."

"My secrets?" He appears unnerved, raising his eyes to meet mines in questioning. "What secrets are you talking about James. You know that I tell you everything."

Oh, but he doesn't.

I nod my head once, before speaking again. I think Edward knows what I am talking about. "I know the deal between you, Bella, and Rosalie."

It's not hard to spot love when it is all around you, and when I look at Edward and Rosalie I do not sense it. The feelings are sadly only one sided. My cousin is head over heels for this bronze haired guy, but there's only one apple of his eye and her name is Isabella Marie Swan. It's not like he tries to hide the fact that he's loving Bella while he's fucking Rosalie. The poor fellow is just too obvious.

"What the hell are you talking about James?" His features are wry as he regards me, looking as if I do not know what I am talking about.

"Well, I know that you love Bella."

"You love Bella too."

I chuckle once, but not because Edward's diversion amuses me. In fact, his little mind games don't humor me at all. I am a whole lot of things but stupid? Certainly not. "But we both know that there are two completely different types of love. Bella is like the little sister that I never wanted and there's nothing deeper to my love than that. I'd do anything for that girl but only in the extent of what any brother would do for his sister."

"I love Rosalie too." He tries confessing this lie to me but I'm not buying it. "I swear I do James."

"You wish you did." I counter, but my eyes are not judgmental. I do not blame him for what he wants. Sometimes the heart and mind cannot be justified. I've been there before. I understand his dilemma.

"And how do you know that I don't?" Edward raises his eyebrows with his question. No one expects for me to ever notice the things that I notice. No one expects for me to be smart at the things that I am smart at. I sure pick up a lot of things for someone who is high all of the time.

I read between the lines that I am not snorting...

"I didn't know for sure Edward. You play the role of a love-sick teenager so well." I watch his gaze fall to his lap as I say this. I do not doubt that the guilt eats him alive. "But all it takes is a brain and a pair of eyes to figure it out. Where did you two disappear to last night?"

"She needed to talk to me about something." Edward's keeps his eyes away from mines, within those greens is the truth. "Are you going to tell Rosalie?" Edward asks quietly.

"Why do you even care? All she is to you is some convenient pussy."

"I do care about Rosalie. Why do you think I haven't broken it off with her to be with Bella?" His voice is just a little bit defensive now. "The last thing I want to do is hurt her James. She made me happy."

"Well, you're going to end up hurting somebody Edward. You've got yourself in a pretty bad predicament." I smile a little. I know from personal experience that everyone has their own skeletons in their closet. This is not my affair...I have nothing to do with it. I care about all three of them. Rosalie is my cousin, Edward is as close to a brother that I'll ever get, and Bella is my best friend. It's just not my place to get in the middle of this mess. I'd rather just watch everything unfold from the sidelines. "I'm not going to tell her though. Your secret is safe with me Eddie-boy."

Edward looks at me skeptically but I have never lied to him before. He knows that I am not going to tell anyone. Discretion is my motto. It keeps the dirty truths from shocking everyone. As long as it stays buried no one will ever find it.

I am not going to tell him how I think he should solve his problem. I have no advice to offer him. I am going to keep all of this to myself and keep doing what I do best. Being me. I have enough problems to worry about already.

"Oh goodness. You're up early." A old nurse says, bounding into the room with Rosalie, Bella, Alice, and the boys trailing close behind her.

"James has never been an early bird." Bella says, approaching me with a small smile on her lips. Her eyes flicker towards Edward's but only for a second before her attention is back on me. "How do you feel?"

"I'm living." I reply nonchalantly. Bella sifts her fingers through my shaggy hair and presses her lips to my forehead. Underneath everything Bella is actually a very genuine person. I don't judge her either.

"Have you seen your dad yet?" Rosie asks, standing beside Edward. He wraps his arms around her waist but hesitates in pulling her close when he sees a set of brown eyes watching his every maneuver. Rosalie melts into his side, paying no attention to either one of her deceivers Now I am also one of them. "I saw him in the cafe with your mother."

"They're already here?" I ask, unable to mask the anxiety that I feel from the thought of them seeing me like this.

"Yeah." Rosalie says, not shocked at all by my reaction. She offers me a sympathetic smile. "They said that they'll be on their way up after they pay for breakfast."

"How is your head?" The nurse asks me, before I am given the chance to respond to what Rosalie has just told me. "Any discomfort or dizziness?"

"Uh, no. I just have a regular old headache."

"You seemed to have hit your head very hard on that dashboard. We thought that you'd be out for days. I'm just going to replace the medicine in your I.V. and then I'll be out of your hair."

The nurse does what she needs to do and then she sees her way out, as she steps into the hallway I can hear her being greeted by two very familiar voices. My heart drops when I see my parents walk into the room. They are the only thing that I've ever feared in my entire life.

My mother and father are sharp in appearance. There isn't a single hair astray on their heads. Everything about them is in pristine order and it makes me want to vomit. It makes me realize what I should have been all these years that I spent disappointing them.

"Hello children." My mother greets, her voice robotic in it's politeness. She shows them a smile that is terribly forced. "You've all come to visit Jameson this morning?"

"Yes ma'am." Bella answers for them all. They are all showing signs of discomfort because they aren't used to being around people like my parents. Esme and Carlilsle are well off but they don't carry a snooty aura around them. They are approachable. My parents...not so much.

"Well, how nice of you all." She nods her head as if she appreciates the efforts of my friends. I wonder if they all feel like they're being judged because that is exactly what's happening. My parents are evaluating them and I'm sure I'll hear every negative thing that they have to say about my friends as soon as we are alone. "Could we just have a moment with him please?"

"Sure." Bella nods her head, smiling lightly as she crosses their paths. Everyone but Rosalie follows her out of the door. They'll probably go wait in the lobby and wonder what kind of cruel words my parents will throw at me this time.

My mother and father both turn towards me when there are no more speculators in the room. The look on their faces is one of disgust when they regard me. I feel smaller than a dust particle. I feel like a low down nothing.

I need a fucking fix...

"Well, this is just great." My mother's voice is sarcasm at it's best. Her head shakes with her disapproval. "My son makes another spectacle of himself. I just know the women at work will be dying to throw that up in my face tomorrow."

"How do you think that makes us feel Jameson?" My father asks, voice horribly unemotional. He has no attachment to the blood that he provided for me. My life is only a nuisance to him and my body quivers whenever I think of that sad fact. I can't look at him, my mother, or even Rosalie. I am too embarrassed and ashamed of the nothing that I let myself become. "Our son is a failure, a drug-addict, and a horrible student. What do you think that does to our reputation in the work force?"

"It was an accident." Rosalie speaks up. She is my cousin through my mother's side of the family. She doesn't come from a lifestyle of money like I do. My father is the one who got my mother established. He is the one who set the expectations for me that I was born to fail. "We all had a little bit too much to drink last night."

I appreciate Rosalie's attempt in helping me but she doesn't quite know that staying silent is the best way to help me.

"Oh Rosalie." My mother views her as a something, but not worthy. She is just a normal girl inside of my mother's eyes and destined to live a normal life. "You wouldn't understand the corollaries that comes along with actions like what Jameson likes to display. It's best for you not to hold strong opinions about things that you do not understand."

Rosalie's lips purse in offense. But my mother has succeeded in shutting her up effectively.

"Why do you even hang out with that group of heathens?" My father asks; dark eyes piercing me. I'm not looking at him but I can still feel the heat of his gaze. I can feel his judgment all over me. It's like a rash that needs to be scratched so very badly. "That Whitlock boy is bad news. His father is a lowly drunk and his mother is a high-school drop out with two bastard kids. Another one on the way."

"What about that Jacob Black boy." My mother shakes her head at the thought of him. She doesn't know that she's hurting me more with the negatives about my friends than she does when the negativity is aimed at me. "His family makes lower-class look nonexistent. How will hanging out with any of them get you anywhere in life?"

"You need to be sticking around those Cullen boys and that Swan girl. At least their parents have established a possibility for them to achieve something in their lives. I bet they don't take their luck for granted."

"I wonder why they lower themselves into befriending a person like you." I am dirt to my mother. Disappointing dirt. My entire insides starts to explode with the pain of failure. I am judging myself and berating myself. I am making my plans to stop all of this turmoil for good. There are so many things going through my head right now that I want to scream.

Perhaps, this is the first time that Rosalie has seen me without my mask on. When she looks at me I can tell that she wants to feel my pain with me. She wants to feel it for me.

But she can't.

This is my anguish and it will always be mine.

As all of these things are going through my head I also find myself wondering which one of my friends is going to end up getting hurt. I know one thing is for sure, and that one thing is that it's absolutely inevitable that no one will get hurt. Very soon I won't be the only one feeling this kind of anguish.

I will wait.

Slowly but surely...

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	8. Em and Jake

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><p><strong>EMMETT POV<strong>

It is early Saturday evening when James is released from the hospital. He doesn't say much on the ride home and I'm not doubtful that his parents probably sucked all of the happiness out of him during their visit. He usually doesn't ever talk that much about them, but I know that they don't approve of his lifestyle and for some reason their disapproval really gets to him.

Edward doesn't feel too good on the way back either. He's quiet but I think it has something more to do with the fact that he fucked his face up last night. He lets Jasper drive us home and he sits in the back seat with his eyes closed. His head phones are his tool for blocking out the voices around him.

"Jasper are you a fucking idiot?"

Jacob is sitting in between Edward and James in the back. He leans forward onto the arm rest that seperates Jasper and I. The expression that he shows Jasper is amongst humor and disbelief. I'm not going to lie. I was thinking the exact same thing. Fucking Alice was probably the worst decision that he could have ever made, especially since he doesn't know that Ally-cat is heads-over-the-fucking-valley in love with him.

"What are you talking about?" Jasper inquires, though he is not entirely ignorant. I think that he's at least a little bit aware of the fact that maybe last night wasn't the very best of his decision making nights. He smirks at Jacob through the mirror. "I don't believe that I've done anything wrong."

"Besides snatching up Alice's V-card?" Jacob is a logical fellow. It would do Jasper good to listen to what he has to say. At the rate that he's going his dick is going to get him balls deep into a ton of drama. And I would just hate to get stuck in the middle of it, but I know that it's going to be almost impossible for me not to get sucked in somehow. I'm am reluctantly all of their friends. Sometimes I wonder why at all. "You do know that you just opened up a big can of worms right?"

"I never gave anyone the impression that I was limited to one girl when it came to fucking."

"I'm not just talking about the fact that Bella is going to be extremely pissed." I think that Jacob may even be a little delighted that Bella is going to be bitching Jasper out for the next couple of days. The guy is in love with her and I have no idea why. Bella has taken advantage of his kindness too many times before. There is no way that I'd still be waiting around for a chance with Rosalie if she'd already shunned me every time I'd tried to court her. I would think that you'd get tired after chasing one particular person for so long. "Did you ever take Alice's feelings into consideration?"

"Yes..." Jasper says, but his demeanor isn't as certain as it should have been. He wasn't wasted enough to lose all control of his decision making abilities but he was definitely wasted enough to consider some bad decisions as good ones. "I never wanted to take advantage of her. I asked her numerous times if it was what she wanted."

"Of course it was what she wanted." Jacob's tone is unmistakably critical, as if he thinks that no one should have to explain this to Jasper. "She wanted to give you anything at all that would have made you want her."

"What are you trying to imply?" Jasper is pulling up to our house now, slowly making it up the driveway. The look on his face is one of pure confusion. I cannot believe that he has still never considered that maybe Alice likes him as more than just a friend.

"Alice has a thing for you." I say, it is the first thing that I've said during the entire car ride. I've contained this secret of hers for so many years, I can't believe that it's taken this long for it to no longer be a secret. "She has liked you since grade school dude. Last night was more than just drunken, club sex to her."

"Holy fuck." Jasper's orbs widen infinitesimally, but the confusion inside of his blues are long gone. He knows exactly what the deal is now. He knows exactly how he fucked up. "Why didn't anyone ever tell me? Why didn't she ever tell me?"

"Because, you were too busy fucking Isabella to listen."

Jasper turns his head to glance at Jacob and I think that he hears the bitter edge inside of Jake's voice too. This is the kind of bullshit that I hate. When everything starts to unfold, it gives me a queasy feeling.

Jacob hates Jasper for fucking Bella.

Alice hates Bella for fucking Jasper.

Bella hates Jasper, Alice, Rosalie, and Edward for taking the attention off of her completely.

I hate my little brother for taking Rosalie for granted.

James and Edward hate theirselves.

"Now Bella is going to be pissed at you and Alice is going to be expecting something from you that you know you're not going to give to her."

Jasper shakes his head. Golden regret. It's easy to see that he has no intentions whatsoever in returning Alice's feelings. I feel sorry for her. I know exactly what it feels like to love someone in vain.

"I swear I would have said no if I knew how she felt. I would never want to give Tinkerbell mixed feelings. I wasn't thinking right last night."

"That's your problem Jasper." Jacob says finally, there is no understanding inside of him. "You don't think. It's not an excuse anymore though."

**~~~~WDYWFM**

The rest of Saturday is uneventful.

Jake and I help James up the stairs to his room. After he closes his door he does not come back out for the rest of the day. Jacob leaves to go visit his dad down at the reservation. I let him take my jeep since he's still saving up his money to buy his own car. Edward stays towards the back of the house, inside of the library and den. He's always been the type of person who needed space. Even when we were kids he would go off by himself and sulk from time to time. My brother has "golden boy" issues that I do not care to learn about. Jasper and I sit in the livingroom and play the X-box. We don't really speak to each other. We just play.

Bella stops by later that night. She makes a point not to speak to Jasper when she walks past to enter the kitchen. She brings ingredients with her to make us dinner. She does this often. She doesn't like that we eat fast food so much, but I really think that she's preparing dinner tonight on Jame's behalf.

She only stays for a couple of hours and she spends most of her time in the kitchen or upstairs with James. She leaves around nine and we pretty much sit around for the rest of the night. Monday morning is what I am not ready for. I do not want to go to school and see Alice's face when Jasper doesn't confess his undying love to her like she'd expected, I do not want to see Bella glaring Alice down with jealousy, and I definitely do not want to see Edward faking his affection for Rosalie.

I almost hit the snooze button on purpose when my alarm goes off but then I sit up and ask myself a question...

What am I stalling time for?

All of the useless bullshit is going to be waiting for me whenever I do decide to stop hiding from it.

James isn't going to school today. That is one less person to wait for to take a shower. Jake spent the night at his father's house so only me, Edward, and Jasper have to get up and get ready for school. We have three bathrooms and I'm so glad that I don't have to wait in line to take a fucking shower today.

We don't have any more breakfast food. We have to get Bella to go grocery shopping soon. We take Edward's volvo and stop at McDonalds to get something to eat before heading off to school. We park in between Rosalie's BMW and Bella's truck. The girls are not standing around the cars as usual. I guess it's a little bit too cold to be standing outside, or maybe a little bit too awkward.

"I'm so not ready for this." Jasper confesses, during our advance towards the building. I don't really want to hear it though. He brought all of it on himself. "Somebody just kill me now."

"What's your plan Jazz?" Edward asks, though I do not think he really cares all that much either. "Are you going to talk to Alice about it?"

"I'm going to avoid her like the plague and hope that she gets the message."

Edward and I glance at each other and chuckle. His immaturity is astonishing, almost as much as his selfishness is. He's going to break Alice's poor little heart into pieces and he knows it. That is what he wants to happen. He is too much of a coward to face her like a man.

"How long do you think you can avoid her?" Edward takes the question right from out of my mouth. "Don't you think that avoiding her is going to be pretty impossible?"

"We'll talk...eventually."

I hate this stupid petty shit. I know exactly what kind of behavior to expect for the next couple of days. I know exactly what is going to be waiting for me when I enter my first period class.

Sure enough Alice is already scribbling a note to pass to me when I reluctantly slide into my seat beside her.

_"I'm an idiot aren't I? I still can't believe we had sex. He hasn't returned any of my calls or replied to any of my texts."_

_**"No you are not an idiot Alice. You're just extremely gullible. You were naive for believing that having sex with him would change everything."**_

Alice reads my reply with a small frown on her pixie-like face. I am just trying to be nice to Alice. I am trying to tell her what I know she wants to hear. If you really think about it she is kind of stupid for falling for Jasper. She has known him for several years now so she knows what kind of person he is. Why would she think he would suddenly change for her?

_"That's just a nice way of calling me an idiot. I just don't understand why he doesn't he like me Emmett."_

**_"IDK Al, Jasper is a complicated person. Have you ever thought that growing up in an unstable household has something to do with the fact that he has a fear of commitment? His mother and father were always arguing, and maybe he just doesn't want to end up like that."_**

_"Actually, that has never even crossed my mind before. I tend to forget the fact that Jasper came from an abusive household."_

Everyone forgets about the life that Jasper had while living at his previous household. He appears to be so happy and lively now that people rarely remember the times when he used to come to school with black eyes, busted lips, unexplained bruises, and sometimes even broken limbs. I definitely think the way he grew up has a lot to do with the way he acts now.

But Jasper is also an asshole. Alice should never forget that fact either.

**_"I think you should just give him time. I know you're in love with him, but he doesn't want a relationship right now. Just be patient and wait for him to talk to you. The only way he knows how to handle this situation is by avoiding you and if you push him he's going to get scared and run even further away from you."_**

Alice looks at me wryly but she does not write back to me. I guess she has decided to take my advice. Or maybe not.

When Bella walks into the classroom during second period her face is contorted into a very unattractive frown. I have to inwardly sigh because I know she is about to start bitching about whatever put her in this mood.

"What's wrong Izzy?" I have a smile on my face because Bella looks so comical when she is upset. Her lips are jutted out into an immature pout, and her eyebrow are scrunched together in obvious frustration. She ignores my question and falls into her seat with a loud groan. A few people turn around to give Bella peculiar looks and she flips them all off. This time I can't contain my amusement.

"Don't call me that." She snaps quietly. Bella hates when people call her Izzy. I called her that on purpose. "I don't know what you think is so funny."

"You're acting like a three year old." I reply, she cracks me up. There is nothing really wrong with her. Bella is a prima donna and always exaggerates every aspect of her life. Especially her problems.

"No I am not." She huffs childishly. She is actually reminding me of the way she used to act back when we were kids. It's a wonder that it's been a decade and she hasn't even really changed all that much. "I'm acting like a seven year old. That's a big age difference."

"Barely." I state dully, I'm getting tired of her beating around the bush. I know she wants to release her shitload of problems on me. She might as well get it over with. "Just tell me what has your panties in a bunch."

I don't really want to know why Bella is upset. I am tired of hearing about everyone else's problems. No one ever listens to my problems. I can't tell anyone about my problems. If I were to confide in Bella that I am pining over my brother's girlfriend the whole school would be gossiping about it before lunch time even rolled around.

Nothing ever stays a secret...not in this group anyway.

"Rosalie called me a jealous bitch." Bella sneers Rosalie's name like she's severely disgusted to even speak of her. I wonder briefly what Bella could have done to make Rosalie say something like that to her because while Rosalie can be severely harsh sometimes she's usually the one taking up for Bella.

"Well, you kind of do have jealously problems." I say carefully. It doesn't matter how nicely I say this. Bella still scoffs and turns away from me. "And you do kind of have a tendency to be a bitch."

"Oh shut up Emmett." She disregards everything that I'm saying as ridiculous. "You're just agreeing with her because everyone likes to bash on me."

Bella is always the victim. This is one of the reasons people tend not to like her. She is a spoiled drama queen who whines and complains like crazy when things do not go her way. I've spent my whole life growing up with Bella and she has always been this way.

"Nobody is bashing on you Bells. What did you say to Rosalie to make her snap at you like that?"

"I told her that Alice shouldn't have tried to seduce Jasper like that. It's obvious that he doesn't want to be with her. I hope she sees this now." Bella smiles unkindly. Her brown eyes are wide and way too innocent to belong to her. Bella is not innocent. "I should just tell Alice that she needs to back the fuck up. It's obvious that he doesn't want her."

"That would just hurt her feelings Bella." I give Bella a reprimanding look to which she ignores. "Why would you want to deliberately hurt your friend? Why would you want to deliberately hurt anyone?"

Bella shrugs her shoulders. She doesn't care who she hurts. Rosalie wasn't just being spiteful. Bella really is a jealous bitch. "She didn't care about my feelings. She just went and fucked him like she didn't know that him and I have been talking for the last couple of years."

The truth is, Jasper doesn't really care about either one of them. It isn't hard to figure that out. If he really cared about Bella he would commit to her in some kind of way. Alice and Bella are just convenient pussy to Jasper. They are both sadly mistaken.

"You don't care about anyone's feelings Bella." I challenge pointedly, my voice is quiet but it is not weak. I believe in what I am saying and I am not afraid to hurt Bella's feelings. She needs to hear the bad things about herself sometimes. She needs to listen. Bella would be better off with someone who actually respects her. Someone like Jacob.

"Yes I do." She says defensively. Her eyes are narrowed and mean now. They suit her. "How the fuck are you going to tell me that I don't care about anyone's feelings? You all just want to make me seem like a fucking bitch don't you?"

"No, We don't want to make you seem like a bitch. You do a good enough job of that on your own." I don't waver when her eyes narrow even more. "I know you Bella. I know that you usually don't think about other people before you make decisions. You always think about yourself first."

Bella is hella pissed off now. I don't think she likes hearing the truth about herself. The truth makes her seem less perfect than she actually is. Bella is not perfect and she knows this. Bella wants to be perfect and she is insecure because she is not.

"You're an asshole Emmett. You and Rosalie are totally meant for each other." Bella says this snidely, and she has a nasty little smirk on her face. "Why don't you two run away with each other so you won't have to be around such a selfish bitch like me."

That is a low blow, and I think that Bella knows this.

I do not say anything else to Bella after that, and she does not try to talk to me either. I am relieved when the bell finally rings. I feel like I am getting released from jail or something, and I bolt out of the classroom without a look back at Bella.

"Hey Em." I see Rosalie on my way to the lunchroom. She is standing near Edward's locker with an irritated look on her face. I am really not in the mood to see the two of them hanging off of each other like the love sick teenagers that they are, but I don't pass up a chance to talk to Rosalie.

"Rosie are you waiting for my brother?" I smile at her as I swivel through a group of people ambling down the hall. The corridors are busy since it is lunch time.

"Yeah. I needed to talk to him alone, but he might have already gone to the cafeteria."

"What did you need to talk to him about?"

Rosalie looks at me with her pretty violet eyes and she smiles a little. "I want him to talk to Bella."

I suppress a groan.

Bella, Bella, Bella...

Can't anyone talk about anything but Bella sometimes?

"Why?" I ask half-heartedly. I do not want to seem completely uninterested, but at the moment this really isn't something I want to talk about.

"I know that he is probably the only person that she will listen to. Someone needs to tell her to stop being so bitchy."

I give Rosalie a very droll look. "Can you really imagine Bella not being bitchy Rosalie? Can you imagine a world where Isabella Marie Swan is not a bitch?"

This makes us both break out into a fit of unrestrained laughter. It isn't funny to talk about Bella behind her back, but it is the truth.

"I love Bella. I really do Em. I try to get along with her as best as I can because I know how Bella is, but one day she is going to cross the line and she is going to get her tender little feelings hurt."

**JACOB POV**

"Where is Emmett?" I ask as I sit down with my lunch tray. I slide into the empty chair beside Bella and relish in the way that she leans her head on my shoulder so tenderly.

"Who cares." She says indifferently, I do not mistake the bitter edge inside of her voice. "He's probably off somewhere being an asshole."

"Whoa." Jasper chuckles lightly. His golden hair and his blue eyes are light. He's leaning back in his chair next to Edward. He's totally acting like Alice isn't sitting right across from him. Apparently, Friday night never happened. "Did Emmett piss you off Princess?"

"Fuck off." Bella snaps, she hasn't talked to Jasper all day. She is upset with him for sleeping with Alice. I guess she feels betrayed or something. It isn't as if none of us didn't see it coming. "All you guys are pricks."

"Hey!" I exclaim playfully. I know that Bella isn't talking about me when she makes that generalization but I like to tease her anyway. "I haven't done anything Bells."

This brings a wry smile to Bella's face and she corrects herself. I'm glad that she is smiling. She's probably been upset since Friday night. "Except for Jacob."

"What do you think you are?" Jasper asks curiously. I don't know if he is offended by her comment. The expression on his face doesn't seem to give very much away. I think he just likes to agitate Bella, but maybe he wants to agitate her a little more since she's been ignoring him.

"I am Bella Swan." She states simply. Her eyes are trained on his. "Nothing more. Nothing less."

"And Bella is so great?" Jasper challenges in a smug voice.

I think Bella is pretty great. But I don't want to intervene. I never intervene.

Bella looks at him coldly. Her lips are curled into a sneer and behind her anger I can see a hurt of some kind. "You used to think so."

Bella and Alice both look at each other and neither of them are wearing the correct expressions. They both should be hanging their heads in guilt. Alice knew that Bella and Jasper had some sort of thing going on but she decided to impose her way into Jasper's path anyway. Bella was too busy clinging onto Jasper that she never had the chance to discover that Alice had feelings for him. They were both selfish. They were both in the wrong.

"How about we change the subject?" Edward suggests this just in time. He raises his eyebrows questioningly, but no one disagrees with his idea.

"What are we doing today?" I ask. I just want to change the subject. I want to cut the tension...

The tension is so very thick...

Things have been like this ever since Friday night. No wait, things have been like this for a long time now. People have held in their true feelings and opinions for a while now, but now I guess we all have decided that it is time to let our true feelings out. Some of our true feelings are harsh though, and they should probably just be kept to ourselves. Someone is going to get hurt.

"I was wondering if you wanted to go visit your sister Jazz." Alice finally says, this is the first time that she has spoken to Jasper all day. Her voice is a little shy. "We haven't seen Jane in a long time."

Jasper's entire face brightens with the mention of his little sister. He still looks at Alice hesitantly though. "That's an awesome idea Alice."

From the sound of Alice's suggestion I kind of think she's only extending her invitation to visit Jane solely towards Jasper. Bella must pick up on this too because her face immediately down casts into a frown.

"Maybe we can go pick her up and take her over to Esme's to eat dinner."

Jasper's face keeps getting happier and happier. He keeps warming more and more up to Alice again. Apparently, Friday night still never happened. "I bet she'd love that. I can't wait to call her and tell her. She really needs to get out of the house sometimes. I wish someone would have gotten me out of that house when I was growing up."

Jasper looks down at his hands for a few seconds, and he doesn't seem like his normal obnoxious self. When Jasper thinks about his childhood he often becomes very quiet.

"What do the rest of you want to then?" Edward asks idly. I smirk at him and shrug my shoulders. We both know that we aren't invited to go retrieve Jane from her house. This is all Alice's plan.

"Do when?" This is when Emmett finally arrives. Rosalie is at his side and they are both smiling widely. I glance at Edward and see him give Bella a very brief but very peculiar look.

"This afternoon." Edward answers coolly, he watches his brother slyly. "Jazz and Alice are going to visit Jane. They're taking her over mom's house."

"The rest of us can go get a home cooked meal from my mom too." Emmett says this, and this is a great idea because Esme always mellows us out. Not to mention that she is absolutely the best cook ever. I just hope for the sake of Esme that we all can get along or pretend to get along for a couple of hours at least.

I miss the way that things used to be. I swear we didn't always used to snap at each other like this.

We didn't always used to get mad at each other so easily...

We didn't always used to be so jealous of each other...

We didn't always used to have these secretly bitter feelings for each other...

Every thing used to be so damn simple.

"Cool." Edward says with a genuine smile. "I never turn down food."

"That's because you guys always have the munchies." Rosalie says wryly. She plops down into Edward's lap and presses a chaste kiss to his lips. "You guys are high all of the time."

This is not how it used to be. This is not how it is supposed to be.

Rosalie and Edward are not simple.

Jasper and Alice are not simple.

Every one's animosity towards Bella is not simple.

My un-returned feelings are not simple.

I take one moment so survey everyone one and things are not looking great right now. But things are not entirely horrible yet either.

The fact that things have not reached rock bottom yet doesn't give me hope because I just know that things are going to get worse.

Love, happiness, and compassion are not simple.

But Hate, anger, and betrayal...that is simple.


	9. Ally and Bells

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><p><strong>ALICE POV<strong>

"Alice can I talk to you for a moment?" Bella asks, her voice is unmistakably rigid. I don't have to study the expression on her face to tell that she is upset. The last bell has finally rang, and the two of us ran into each other on our way down the hallway. I think that Bella ran into me on purpose though.

"Yes Bella." I say, quite hesitantly at that. I don't know if I feel guilty about sleeping with Jasper behind Bella's back, but I definitely don't feel like a good friend right now. That doesn't mean that I'm going to stop pursuing Jasper. She isn't even in love with him. Bella only wants Jasper as a trophy. I want him for so much more. "What do you want to talk about?

"I don't understand why you didn't tell me about your feelings for Jasper." She looks almost hurt from the fact but what good would telling her had done? "Maybe things would have been different if I'd known. I feel like you don't even trust me."

"Bella, I would have been wasting my breath if I'd told you." My outside demeanor remains calm but inside I feel like I'm boiling. "It's not like I didn't make my feelings obvious. You were just too preoccupied with yourself to notice."

Bella's orbs widen at the honesty of my words. I have not said anything particularly harsh to her but maybe the truth hurts a little. I know that I am not the only person who has told Bella that she is selfish. It still doesn't seem to be dawning on her yet.

"Are you surprised or something?" We have stopped walking through the hallway now. We are standing in front of the locker that Jasper shares with James but Jasper has not made it here yet.

"No, I'm not surprised." She says, resting her eyes directly on my own. There are a ton of emotions running wild in those dark irises. I can pick out at least two. Anger and Jealousy.

"Then why are you looking like that?"

"Because I didn't think that you'd be so blunt about it. I just tried to tell you that I cared about you." Her hands fall to a place on her hips. This is a bitch stance in the making. "After what you did I wouldn't expect for you to be such a bitch about it. You should actually be apologizing to me."

"Did you just call me a bitch?" I ask incredulously, I find it very odd that Bella would be expecting even an utter of an apology from me. She has dangled the man that I love infront of my eyes for years now. She should be on her knees groveling for my forgiveness. I've done nothing wrong but gone after what I want and deserve.

"I think I did."

"You're the bitch." I snap, and I just hate that she gets a reaction out of me. Bella loves to fester under people's skin. "And you're a jealous one at that."

"I think we're both a little jealous. Maybe we have a lot more in common then we give ourselves credit for." Bella smirks as she leans against Jasper's locker. "But in the end who do you think Jasper will choose? It's always been me."

"That's because he hasn't had a chance to experiene what it's like to have someone actually care about him. I love Jasper with all of my heart Bella. I wish you would understand that I am not trying to compete with you. I just want my chance."

She opens her mouth to speak. I think she has thought of a hundred bad things to call me right now and in a very little amount of time, but she does not get a chance to say them because Jasper chooses this time to appear.

"Two beautiful ladies." He says with a charming smile, he appears unaware of what he just walked up on. "Now my day couldn't get any better. What are you two hanging around my locker for anyway?"

"Are you guys still going to see Jane today?" Bella inquires, her voice is nothing but sweet for him.

Jasper's eyes brighten as he nods his head, his sister is the only person that he'll ever show emotion for. She means the world to him. "You can totally tag along if you want to Bella. I know you haven't seen Jane in a while and she loves you."

"She still thinks we're going to get married doesn't she?"

Jasper chuckles lightly, his shoulders hitch in nonchalance. "Who knows what that crazy girl thinks. So do you want to come?"

"Hmm.." Bella's head falls to the side in contemplation. I pray like crazy that she doesn't decide to impose on us because I know that Jasper will have no problem with it. I really don't like that she's upset with my advances, I wish she was a little more supportive. I don't quite get her dilemna. It's not like she is actually in love with Jasper. "No, I just remembered that I told Esme that I'd help her cook today."

"Thank goodness I have you and Esme. I'm tired of eating out Princess."

"No you're not." Bella says, eyebrows arched in suggestiveness. "You can't get enough Jazz."

Jasper smirks at her blatancy, though the gleam in his eyes reveals that Bella isn't so far off. "Is your mind in the gutters today Bells?"

"My mind is always in the gutters Jazz." Bella presses her lips to the corner of his mouth. She misses his lips by a mere centimetre. Inside I am bubbling with rage now, but my outside appearance stays relatively normal. "I guess I'll see you guys later then."

**~~~~WDYWFM**

"I can't wait to see Jane." I say after Bella has finally blessed us with her sweet absence.

"Yeah me either." Jasper agrees. He smiles and wraps his arms around my shoulders. This simple sweet gesture makes my heart rate increase.

Jasper and I meet up with the others for a couple of minutes, and we confirm that we will meet up with them later for dinner.

Jasper rode with Edward to school today so we end up taking my Porsche. I reluctantly let him drive after he promises that he won't crash my car. Jasper is a reckless driver, and I am hesitant about letting him drive my car.

"You know we're going to get pulled over if you keep driving seventy in a thirty mile zone."

"I'm not going to get pulled over." Jasper says with a quick smile my way. "The police know that they're wasting their time." He is way too confident is his driving abilities. This is a problem because he doesn't actually have any driving abilities. I am starting to wonder how he even passed drivers' education last year.

"Yeah because you have tons of unpaid speeding tickets at home right?" I don't want to have to bring up his track-record.

Jasper shakes his head. "I pay all of my speeding tickets silly girl. If I didn't pay them I would have been had my ass hauled off to jail, and we both know I'm way too pretty to survive going to jail."

This makes us both crack up. One of the reasons I love Jasper so much is the fact that he keeps people smiling...not only that, but he actually likes to make people happy. He hates seeing people when they are unhappy. I don't know why, but I guess it's because he was unhappy for so long that he doesn't want anyone else to have to experience the pain he went through.

It really is a beautiful thing. I just hate that there is so much more to him that most people will never know. The outsiders refuse to look beyond that playful exterior he produces so well. Inside, Jasper is actually barrelling with emotions.

"What are you over there thinking about Ally-cat?"

"You." I say simply. I mean for this statement to be completely platonic, but I cannot stop the emotion from entering my voice. "I am always thinking about you Jasper."

This makes Jasper sigh softly. We haven't really talked about what happened between us on his birthday. He spent most of the entire weekend not returning my calls and today his genuis plan was to avoid me. I feel like I should be a little more upset with his childish tendencies, his total disregard of my feelings. But the fact that he is communicating with me at all seems to dispel my anger somehow.

"I think we need to talk about what happened Friday night Alice." His voice indicates that this is actually something that he does not want to talk about.

"No we don't." I assure. My voice is easy and calm. My demeanour is nonchalant. "It was just sex. I understand that. Don't worry about it Jasper."

I am lying through my fucking teeth. What happened Friday night was so much more to me than just sex, but I do not want to stress Jasper out. I do not want to say anything that may make him want to start avoiding me again. I am going to tell him what I know he wants to hear.

Jasper gives me a very sceptical look now. He can see right through my false nonchalance. I swear he can probably feel what I am feeling. Jasper has always been sensitive to other people's emotions, but that's probably just because he's so emotional himself. Jasper is a very emotional person but he knows how to hide it well. He suppresses how he feels. "I don't think you really feel that way Alice. I don't want you to lie to me. Tell me how you really feel."

I look at him. My nerves are starting to rise. I exhale a trembling breath. I have not shown anyone besides Emmett that Jasper's ignoring me had actually hurt my feelings very badly. "You already know how I feel." I say quietly, it's a little bit too painful trying to express the feeling of unrequited love. "And I already know how you feel..."

"No you don't." Jasper shakes his head and his expression is void of any type of playfulness. His blue eyes are serious for once, but he still looks as laconic and calm as usual. Underneath that calm is a storm. Jasper is probably as anxious as I am. "I'm pretty sure you think that if I asked you to be my girlfriend right now that it'd be just that simple to start a relationship. You probably think that we'd be perfectly happy together and that everything would just be so easy for us."

Jasper looks at me with a soft smile before continuing. I see the doubt inside of his eyes. I see the rejection in his expression. It pierces me before his words have a chance to.

"But I will tell you right now Alice that it will never be easy being with me. There is nothing easy about my life. I grew up in an abusive household and I watched my father beat my mother up every day. Destruction is all I know Alice. I swear I feel like I have my father inside of me somewhere. When I get mad I can feel that danger churning inside of me and it's just waiting to be released. I don't know what I am capable of and I don't want to be like him Alice. I don't want to get mad at my girlfriend one day and beat her until she begs me to stop...I don't ever want to be as weak as him Alice."

I have never realized just how traumatized Jasper really is by the events that happened inside of his house when he was growing up. No one ever stops to consider Jasper's reluctance in connecting with someone on an emotional level as something other than the fact that he'd rather just fuck around than be tied down. No one ever stops to wonder if maybe he has a deeper reason to his actions.

"I won't let you become like him Jazz." I want to tell him that I love him but I'm not quite sure if that admission would make this situation any better. Jasper is already visibly uncomfortable with opening up to me. He just admitted his biggest and deepest fear to me.

"You can't help me Alice." He says quietly, and the sad part is that he believes this. Jasper doesn't see himself as clearly as I do. In his weaknesses I can see the strength that he beholds. "Giving myself to you would be like wrapping up some garbage and sending it to somone as a Christmas present."

"You don't give yourself enough credit Jasper." I really want to tell him that I love him now. He thinks that he is incapable of loving someone and I just know that he is wrong.

"You give me too much credit Alice." Jasper drops his head and he peers down at his hands. We have pulled up in front of his old house now. "That place ruins people Alice."

I reach up and push his unruly hair away from his startling blue eyes. Jasper leans into my touch just a little and a warmness takes the corners of his mouth into a smile. "You're not ruined Jasper."

"Let's not talk about this anymore." He suggests calmly. I think that he is starting to get uncomfortable with the heaviness of this conversation. Jasper will return to his usual playful self in a matter of seconds, and it will be like we never even had this conversation. That is the only way that he knows how to cope. "Let's go get Jane and let's just have fun. I really want to show her to a good time.

"Okay." I agree. I do not want Jasper carrying around his sullen mood when we get Jane. I want her to have a good time too. I want her to have the nice memories to look back upon that Jasper doesn't have.

Jasper and I park the car in their empty drive way and amble up to the front porch in silence. The house is old and is stationed in one of Fork's many lower-class neighborhoods The front of the house, which was once white; is covered in a mass of green vines and moss. The window-shutters are rain-rotted, and the yard is severely unkempt. Leaves and trash is scattered all across the front lawn.

I count at least five loitered beer cans before we even reach the front porch. Jasper gives me a pointed look before ringing the doorbell. I have probably only met Jasper's parents twice and that is because Jasper didn't like bringing people around his family...for good reasons.

Three minutes probably pass before the door is actually answered. A familiar looking blond stands in the doorway with a familiar looking aloofness about her demeanor. It only takes me a second to realize that this blossoming young lady is what little Jane has become in the time that I've spent away from her.

Her body is attractively petite. She is taller than me but just a little shorter than Bella. So she is still pretty below the average height range. Her once short blond hair has grown out and is down her back in thick straight tresses. Her blue eyes are wide and warm with recognition. Her maturing face explodes into a big smile when she sees Jasper.

"Well damn." Jasper says incredulously. He's looking at Jane like she is a stranger but there is nothing but love for that girl in his expression. "My little sister is...not little anymore."

"Oh Jazz." Jane chuckles. Her voice still sounds like it belongs to someone playing hopscotch in the front of their yard. She throws herself into Jasper's ready arms. He is always ready when it comes to his little sister. The way he looks at her is so beautiful. I selfishly envy Jane. I wish that he would look at me like that. Like nothing else in the world matters but me. She is the only thing that he needs in this world. "I've missed you so much."

"I've missed you too sis." Jasper's voice sounds heavy with feelings. I've never seen him this emotional before. I can only imagine what whirlwind of feelings are flowing throughout him.

"Don't tell me you're going to cry." Jane teases when she pulls away from him. She wears a lazy smirk on her face that is almost identical to the one that Jasper always wears. They resemble each other in so many ways. Their mannerisms are alike and their appearances are shockingly similar. If Jane was a little older I would think that the two of them were twins.

"No." Jasper shakes his head. A smile climbs back onto his face at once. "No crying today. Just fun. We're taking you out kiddo."

Jane's smile falters as she glances back inside of the house. I can't see into the home because she's standing in the doorway. I can hear someone moving about though. "I don't think I can."

"Why not?" Jasper asks apprehensively. Jasper knows what kind of things that go on inside of this household. He doesn't even have to pretend to not know why Jane is so reluctant to take a step out of the house.

"Because dad isn't home yet. I have to ask him first or he might get mad." She gives Jasper a look that is meaningful between the two of them and then she glances down at her bare feet, refusing to speak more about it in front of me. I understand that this is personal. I wish Jane would understand that she can trust me.

Jasper has been through this all before. He understands what she is trying to say even though she isn't outright saying it. Even I understand what she is trying to say.

"Has he been getting mad a lot lately?" Jasper looks stern. He doesn't want to startle Jane. He keeps himself composed but I can tell that he's fighting his protective instincts.

Jane nods her head silently, glancing at me briefly. I don't think that she even remembers who I am.

Jasper tenses just the slightest bit beside me. I take his hand inside of mines and give it a gentle squeeze for support. "At you? Or at mom?" He squeezes my hand back, and he seems to relax a little.

"Both." Jane looks at me as if she is unsure of my purpose for being here with her brother. She sees that I am holding Jasper's hand and this confuses her. "Jasper where is Bella? Aren't you grown now? You can marry her now right?"

Jasper chuckles at his little sister endearingly. I want to frown and huff like a little child, but I don't. I keep my composure even though the mention of Bella's name has blemished my mood.

"I don't think Isabella wants to marry me yet Jane. She still has two years of high school left."

"Oh." Jane shrugs her shoulders and then she looks down again. "I wish that I could go with you."

"Come on then." He insists. He holds his hand out for her to take. "I promise I won't let him get mad at you Jane. We can go see Bella. She's waiting for you."

"But I don't want him to get mad at you either." Jane starts to back away into the house. She looks scared. She has protective instincts of her own. Jasper is the most important person in her life too.

"He won't." Jasper promises, and she believes him. Jane takes his hand and smiles at him when he places a nice kiss on her palm. "He'll never get mad at you again Jane. Not when I'm around to protect you and I'll always be around to protect you."

"Always?"

Jasper nods his head. His love is written all over his face. "You're my number one girl Jane an you'll always hold that title. Don't ever forget that."

**BELLA POV**

"I'm so thrilled that you came over to help me prepare dinner Bella." Esme is Edward and Emmett's mom but she treats me just like I am her daughter. She has always treated all of us like we were her kids. "I haven't gotten to spend any quality time with you in a while. You know I need you to give me the scoop on the boys."

I chuckle at her played out slang, but I continue to stir the shrimp gumbo that she has simmering on the stove top. I already know what she's leading up to. She is going to ask me a lot of pointless questions about everyone until she finally gets to the details about Edward and I. Esme has always counted on the two of us growing up and falling in love with each other. I wonder what she'd think if I told her that Rosalie was currently the apple of her son's eye.

"Ask away."

"How has James been getting along? I heard that the poor thing got himself into a fender-bender." She turns her gaze away from the vegetables that she is chopping, and she looks at me with sincerity. "Is he still in very much pain?"

"No, James is doing just fine Esme." I answer, assuring her with my quick response. "I went over there Saturday night and cooked him dinner. He told me that he is okay but that his head still hurts from time to time."

"Carlisle told me that his x-ray showed three broken bones inside of his leg. He'll be on crutches for the next five months." Her voice is devestated, she cares about James as though he is actually of blood to her. "Carlisle also told me that Jasper split his lip open and Edward blackened the whole left side of his face."

I nod my head. That is the truth. "Luckily, it wasn't more serious than that. They could have really gotten theirselves hurt."

"Oh, I know Bella. I worry myself sick about those boys." She shakes her head, cutting on the granite counter with a look of concentration. "Sometimes I wonder if I let them leave to soon. I just don't think they are responsible enough to live on their own."

"It's always one thing after the next with them."

"How has Emmy-bear been doing? He called and told me that he's being considered for an athletic scholarship at Georgia State."

"Really? That is great news!" I am excited for him but I still have to briefly wonder why Emmett has never mentioned this news to me. It starts to dawn on me that they do not tell me a lot of things. They probably don't trust me as far as they can throw me, but I can't possibly recall a time when I've given them a reason to question my trust. "Don't you think it's a good accomplishment? Emmett will be awesome at professional football."

A proud smile shows itself on Esme's face, she almost looks choked up. "I can't believe that my baby is graduating. I swear it was just yesterday when I was changing his poopy diapers."

"Has Jasper or Rosalie told you what they were planning on doing after they graduate?" Edward, Alice, Jake and I are the only juniors. Rosalie, Emmett, Jasper, and James are the seniors. But Jake's grades have been so flawless throughout the years that he's probably going to be qualified to graduate early when the spring time rolls around.

I watch Esme shake her head. "They haven't told me anything yet but Emmett told me that Rosalie was thinking about becoming a social worker. He says that she likes kids and wants to work around them. I think I remember him telling me that Jasper wants to study history."

"Edward is still dead set on medical school, Jake wants to own his own mechanic shop, and I'm going to go into literature."

Esme seems pleased with the fact that we have all of our plans together. She does not take note of the fact that I do not mention James and I am glad. I do not know what James is going to do when he gets out of high school. He is a horrible student. His parents are probably going waste their money sending him to some expensive university. James will never amount to anything on the path that he is going; no matter how badly his parents may want to see him succeed.

"So everyone is pretty much happy then?" Esme's features are kind and smooth, her inquiry is genuine. She does actually care whether are not we are happy. "Have the boys met any girls yet?

I don't miss the sly smile that crosses her face when she says this.

I open my mouth to reply but close it just as quickly when I hear the front door opening. A familiar voice calls Esme's name and I know this immediately to be Edward. I wonder why he has arrived so early and why no one else is with him. A short feeling of anxiety surges through me when he makes his way into the kitchen. I can tell that he was not expecting to see me here; the look on his face says it all.

"Oh Eddie!" Esme forgets that she is in the middle of chopping veggies. When she sees her baby boy the food doesn't even matter to her anymore. "Why are you here so soon? Are the other's with you?"

"No, I told Emmett to come over whenever Jake got back with the jeep. I wanted to come see if you needed help. I didn't know that Bella was going to be over here." Esme doesn't pick up on the fact that he is not relieved to see me. I don't even cast him a look but I think that he knows I'm studying him out of my peripheral.

"Well, Bella is just generous like that son. She came over to assist me with the gumbo."

"I knew I smelled gumbo when I walked in the door." Edward has always loved seafood. Esme takes note of this. She's aware of everything Edward loves. "I haven't had gumbo and sweet rolls in a long time."

"Oh." Esme's eyes widen just a little, and then she smiles warmly. "I knew that I'd forgotten something. I'm going to have to run to the store very quickly. We can't have gumbo with the sweet rolls."

"I'll go for you." Edward suggests, maybe as an excuse. I don't think he wants to be left alone with me. "It's really no problem."

"Nonsense." Esme shakes her head and waves Edward's suggestion away as if he were silly for even proposing it. "You're not going to leave Bella here to cook by herself. From what I hear you need as much cooking practice as you can possibly get."

Edward snaps his head around to look at me with accusing green eyes. He has a crooked smirk on his face and his eyebrows are raised high. I like the fact that he is actually addressing my presence. He hasn't been avoiding me but he definitely hasn't been going out of his way to talk with me either. Ever since Jasper's party something has been different about him. "You've been sneak dissing me behind my back Isabella? Not to mention to my own mother?"

"Oh Dimples." I giggle playfully, I decide to let go of my urges to question him. Esme rolls her eyes with me. "I would never diss you behind your back. It's much more fun to do it when you are around, and on that note let me tell Esme what happened when you tried to make me a birthday cake last year."

"I'm sure the story is embarrassingly hilarious Bella but I really have to run to the store now. Please don't let Edward burn my kitchen down."

"I can't promise anything." I say with a sarcastic smile Edward's way, he glares at me playfully but he knows that we're just messing with him. "But I'll do my best to keep Edward under control."

"Thanks honey." Esme slips on her pretentious little pea coat and grabs the keys to her pretentious little BMW. When she leaves I turn the stove down to a simmer because the gumbo is just about done.

Edward goes to lean against the counter that is diagonally across from the stove. He doesn't say anything but I can tell that there is something on his mind.

"Well, what are you waiting for?" I ask casually, I don't let him know that the mere presence of him is making me warm inside. Edward probably thinks I am as selfish as everyone else does. "If you have something to say you should say it right now."

Edward remains silent, dropping his eyes to his shoes. Sometimes I just don't understand him. There is nothing to lose.

Someone is going to have to take the lead. The tension will never ease up if we don't talk about what's been making the atmosphere tense in the first place. There is something called being mature and I am going to display it by taking the first step.

"Is there something bothering you?"

"Don't even pretend to act like you don't know what's bothering me Bella." His tone is unmistakably harsh, though he keeps his eyes glued on his Vans. "I can't stand to be around you anymore Bella. I can't trust myself around you."

"There must be a reason why you can't trust yourself Edward."

"Because I fucking love you Bella." He frowns, unable to mask the guilt that he feels. I almost feel a little guilty myself. "I love you more than I will ever love Rosalie or anyone else."

"Then why are you trying your hardest to run away from me?" I don't put effort into disguising the hurt that I feel. There is a physical ache inside of my body and it's been there for the past several days. It hurts to be in love with someone who belongs to someone else.

"Rosalie doesn't deserve this Bella. She put her trust in me. I can't feel good about myself knowing that I betrayed her."

"I put my trust in you too."

"That's not fair Bella." He shakes his head, fingers gripping his hair in frustration. He closes the lids that hide away those green orbs from me. "Don't do that to me."

"You promised me that one day we'd be together. You promised me that you'd love me when I was ready. I'm ready now Edward." I take a step towards him, there isn't a lot of space that fills the distance that is between us. "I never wanted to put in a predicament where you had to choose between me and her. I love you Edward."

Edward's shoulders drop in the next moment and he sighs. I fear that he has lost his patience with me but I am proven wrong his gaze falls upon mine again. I have never seen that much love inside of someone's expression before and I'm almost surprised that all of his love is reserved for me.

"It was never a choice between you and her Bella." He shakes his head, and bronze tresses fall into my view of his truth. "It was always you."


	10. Eddie and Jazz

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><p><strong>EDWARD POV<strong>

What the fuck happened to us?

What the fuck happened to love?

When did sincerity and compassion transform into lies and apathy? When did we stop being a family and how did we turn into this?

As I sit here across the dinner table from Bella I am thinking to myself: What the fuck happened?

Rosalie is beside me on my left, Emmett is beside her, and James is stationed in between the two of them. On the other side of the table Jasper sits next to Alice. Little Jane is on his other side and Bella is on the side of her. Jake sits next to my mother who is busily chatting away about something that I am much too preoccupied to comprehend.

"Honey, what's going on inside of that messy little head of yours?"

I am only vaguely aware that my mother is speaking to me. I do not actually snap back into present until Rosalie softly nudges me.

"Did you hear your mom? She asked you a question."

"I'm just thinking." I reply calmly. I keep my answer vague for a reason. I do not want anyone getting too curious about my thoughts. There are things inside of my head that I wish I wasn't even aware of. "About a lot of different things."

"Oh." My mother says with an endearing smile on her face. She takes a sip from her lemon water and nods her head at me. "I was just wondering because you were looking so spaced out."

My mother doesn't pry. She never has. I've always been more of the aloof type compared to Emmett. I had my days when I wanted to talk openly and freely, and I had my days when I wanted to retreat to my room and stay there by myself. One of my problems was that I often thought too much. I thought too much and way too hard about most things that people would easily find simple.

"Well." My mother clasps her hands together excitedly. There is a happiness radiating from her that she gets when she is surrounded with people that she loves. We all love my mother. I'm just not so sure if we all still love each other. "Fill me in on your lives. A lot is going on now right?"

"Edward and Rosalie are a couple now." Jasper replies, a bit of a smirk on his face. "How long has it been now? Two weeks?"

We all just sort of look at Jasper in shock. I have to take a moment to wonder what his intentions are and then I remember that he's Jasper. He never thinks before he says anything.

"Well, that is just lovely." My mother's words are completely earnest. Even though she has always counted on me being with Bella she is still very much pleased with my choice in Rosalie. This makes me sigh. I wonder how she is going to feel when Rosalie's heart gets broken. I definitely won't be the gentlemen she thinks I am after that.

I look at Jasper wryly. I make sure that he see's the mischief in my expression when his eyes meet mine. "Jasper and Alice sort of have something going on too." I just have to get him back for what he just said. I feel my lips stretch into a smile of my own.

The corners of his mouth drop. The smirk that he wears so proudly is gone in the instant that it takes him to register the lie that I have just told. He opens his mouth to deny this claim but my mother beats him to it.

"Oh goodness! This is just so wonderful. My little Jazzy-Wazzy." She squeals like a teenager and she's bouncing in her chair like she's on drugs or something. My mother just loves to be fulfilled with the content of our lives. She says that it makes her heart sing. Whatever that means. "Is Jazzy treating you well Alice?"

Alice turns to slowly look at Jasper. They're both at a loss for words. This shit is just too funny. I have to bite my tongue to keep myself from exploding with laughter.

"Actually..." Alice starts to say hesitantly. Everyone knows that no one knows what the fuck Alice and Jasper are doing. All we really do know is that they fucked each other at his birthday party. There's nothing more to their love story than that.

"Oh! I can already see how in love you two are. You're totally speechless." My mother cuts Alice's sentence short and waves her hands all over the place. "Who's going to be next? Jake and Bella perhaps?"

This is when my amusement starts to wane. I can feel Bella looking at me but my eyes are focused on Jake. I am well aware of his feelings for Bella. He seems more than happy to accept my mother's suggestion.

"Yes Esme, Bella and Jake would definitely make an awesome couple." James says playfully. He starts to laugh at the irony and at the direction that this conversation has taken.

"Can we please change the subject?" Emmett grumbles quietly. I am very thankful for him and his suggestion at the moment.

"Oh Emmett." My mother chuckles lightly, there is a look of adoration written across her facial features. "Don't worry son. You'll find the right girl someday too."

Emmett makes a scoffing sound at my mother's comment but I swear that I see him look at Rosalie.

**~~~~WDYWFM**

I can't even begin to explain how relieved I am when we get done eating. Today just isn't one of those days when I want to sit around the table and pretend that everything is totally fine. It gets harder and harder to fool my mother every time I see her.

We help my mom straighten up the kitchen by clearing off the table, loading the dishwasher, and putting away the leftovers. Afterwards, she practically demands that we stay a little bit longer. So we pile in the living room and just chill.

"So, how have you been Jane?" I ask curiously. She looks very healthy and lively considering the circumstances that are going on inside of her household. I can't believe that it's been so long since I've seen her. She's a very mature looking fourteen year old.

"I've been just fine." That is the same exact thing that a younger Jasper would to say to anyone that'd ask him that question and this is how I know that she is not fine. Jasper was never fine when he was living in that house. There was always something very wrong and those somethings would show up on his skin in the form of bruises from time to time.

"Aren't you glad your dad let you come for dinner?" I remember Mr. Whitlock being a very hard person to reason with. Getting Jasper out of the house to hang out with us used to be a very difficult task. I am surprised that he let Jasper take Jane out.

"Actually." Jane gives me a brief and very guilty smile before looking at Jasper. "He doesn't know that I am gone."

"You left without telling him?" This is what I mean when I say Jasper doesn't think about anything before he does it. If Mr. Whitlock used to flip out on him for not telling him where he was going when he left the house what makes him think that he won't get mad at Jane for not letting him know that she was leaving the house at all.

"Dude, don't trip." Jasper says easily. I know that he isn't going to let anything happen to Jane when he is around but who will protect her when he's not around? Who knows how unstable Mr. Whitlock is now? Jasper hasn't actually visited his family for a while. Not since his father's last drunken rampage. He needs to start taking into account the possible consequences that can come with the actions that he makes.

"It's going on seven Jasper and Jane has to go to school in the morning. Maybe you should start getting her home."

"Yeah Jasper." Alice agrees. She touches his shoulder gingerly. This earns her a sneer from Isabella. "Seven is kind of late for someone whose bedtime is nine."

"Hey." Jane exclaims defensively, she crosses her arms with a small huff. "My bedtime is nine-thirty actually."

Jasper chuckles at his little sister. "Sorry squirt, but they're right. We need to be getting you back home."

When Jasper and Alice get ready to take Jane back home we all simultaneously agree that it is time for us to start heading out too. It is not late for us but I think we're all just tired of hanging around the awkward atmosphere that my mother has unintentionally created.

I came over early to help my mother with the cooking so obviously I rode here by myself, Jasper and Alice rode together, the guys picked Rosalie up on their way over here, and Bella lives next door. We all retreat in the order that we came in. I walk with Rosalie to the car because I guess it is what everyone expects me to do.

"Did you have fun at dinner?" She asks curiously, her violet eyes seem to detect something in my own. She can tell that something isn't right with me. She just doesn't know what that something is and she should be relieved. "You weren't communicating much with anyone."

"I had a lot on my mind. I say truthfully, but I think that I have also lied by omission. "I apologize if I seemed impersonal."

"Oh no." She shakes her head, a smile spreading across her lips for me. "Don't worry baby. I understand. Everybody has those days."

I can't' even pretend to force a smile onto my face but something still compels me to lean toward her. I press my lips to her cheek and I hate myself way too much at this moment.

"I'll see you tomorrow." I don't allow myself another look at her face. I know exactly what I'll see on her face if I do.

Confusion, fear, self-uncertainty...

"What time are you heading home?" My mother asks, once I walk back into her house. She is in the living room turning off the television and straightening things back into order. She has to work in the morning so I know that she'll be going to bed soon.

"I don't know mom. I just don't want to be around the guys right now."

"Honey, is there something on your mind?" My mother knows me more than anyone else has ever known me. I had little luck hiding things from my mother when I was living with her. She could always tell when something was bothering me. The slightest change in my demeanor was enough to send those "mother alert sirens." off in her head.

"Not really." I do my very best to keep my face straight. This is the last dilemma that I want to talk to my mother about.

"You know that you can tell me anything right?" My mother holds my gaze, and inside of her eyes I see unconditional love. "I will always love you Edward. You know that don't you?"

I roll my eyes playfully, though I do appreciate my mother's empathy. "I know mom. I think I'm going to start heading out now."

"Tired of your old woman already?" She chuckles, before kissing my cheek gingerly. "Go before it gets too late. Oh, and Bella told me to ask you if you could stop by and talk to her before you left."

My stomach twists in knots when my mother says this to me. I am almost positive that she picked up on my hesitancy.

"Edward, I have to tell you one more thing before you leave." She looks at me, and I see her mother face coming into action. Either she's getting ready to reprimand me or she's getting ready to tell me something very meaningful.

"What is it mom?"

"I just want you to know that sometimes the heart wants things that we don't understand, but you are never supposed to ignore the way your heart feels. Follow wherever your heart takes you. Chances are you'll end up where you are supposed to be."

I don't know how my mother knows about what's going on between me, Rosalie, and Bella. I do know that she just didn't offer me that darling piece of advice as a coincidence though.

"Thanks mom." I tell her I love her, and she watches me walk next door to Bella's house. There are no cars in the driveway except for Bella's truck. This does not surprise me however. Bella's parents are never at home.

I use the key that they keep under the welcome mat and I let myself into the house. I can tell that the main level is vacant as soon as I step into the living room. There are no lights on and it's silent as a mouse. I decide that Bella must be inside of her room and on my way up the staircase I have to ask myself what am I getting myself into.

Bella is laying on her bed when I enter her room. Her television is on but she doesn't seem to be watching it. When she sees me she sits up a little. There is a look of nervousness on her face.

"Hey." I say quietly, the butterflies inside of my stomach make me queasy. "My mom told me that you wanted to talk."

"I do." Bella peers at me with pleading eyes.

This is the part where I drop all of the pretenses, denial, and fear. "Well, I don't."

"Why?" She asks, her face dropping in disappointment. I can feel everything shattering inside of me as I watch her shatter. "I think it'll be a good idea. I don't like the way that we're acting towards each other."

"It doesn't matter anymore Bella." I shake my head, not fighting the smile that covers my face at her confusion. "I'm done lying to you and to myself. The games are over."

And in the next few seconds, I have crossed the entirety of her room. I am on her bed and my lips are attached to hers, and Rosalie sadly does not even matter.

I push Bella back against her pillows and take a position between her legs. She has her arms wrapped around my neck, fingers digging into my hair; pulling me as close to her as I can possibly get. Our lips move in synchronicity but this is not a gentle kiss. I am kissing her hard and grasping her harder. We are releasing about ten years worth of denial in this one experience and it's the best feeling that I've ever had.

"Edward." She pulls away from me, eyes darkened effectively. "Please...I want you Edward."

"I want you too." I feel vulnerable admitting this, but the look inside of her eyes is genuine. Bella actually does love me and once I get her this time, I swear that I'll never let her go.

**JASPER POV **

"I had a lot of fun today Jasper."

My little sister smiles at me from the back seat of Alice's car. I can't turn around to look at her expression, but I can hear the joy in her voice. I can hear the smile in her tone. My heart leaps just a little bit from knowing that I've made my sister happy today. There is absolutely nothing more that I want to do with my day than make the people I love happy.

"Thanks for coming to get me."

"No problem." I say easily. I give Alice a quick glance and smile at her. "It was Alice's idea Jane. You should thank her for being so considerate...and you should totally ask her to be your best friend."

Alice and Jane's giggles fill the empty space in the car. Jane leans forward from where she sits in the back and presses a quick kiss to the side of Alice's face.

"Thanks." She says lightly. She chuckles a little bit more. "And can you be my new best friend?"

Alice's face explodes into a montage of happiness. She's looking at my little sister kind of like it's her little sister too, and that really makes me want to thank her for being so good with Jane.

"Sure. I'll be honoured to be your best friend Jane."

I am only happy that Alice and my sister are newly established best friends for a couple of minutes because the shit starts to get old very quickly. They both team up to take over the radio in the car even though I'm the one driving and should be in control of the music, and they both get together to tell each other embarrassing stories of some of the more dumber stunts that I've attempted to pull throughout the years of my life. I can only laugh along with them because their jokes are pretty damn funny...even at my own expense.

The delighted mood only seems to change when I pull in front of my old home. Jane immediately quiets. My father's jeep is crookedly parked inside of the overturned driveway. This means that he is drunk and that means that he will not be happy when Jane walks through that front door.

"I'm going to go take Jane inside Alice. You stay here okay?" I say this, only because I do not want Alice to witness the severity of how destructive things can become inside of that house. It's funny how a house can look perfect on the outside and noone would ever imagine how much of a catastrophe it can be on the inside. I find it even more funny how you can just look at the outside of my old house and tell that some sick shit goes on in the inside.

I have a strong gut feeling that my dad might start tripping out on Jane for leaving the house once in her dismal life, and I definitely do not want anyone to have to witness me fighting my own father because I will certainly fight for my sister.

Alice gives me a really stubborn look, it probably would have amused me under different circumstances. Right now it was just sort of annoying. "Why do I have to stay in the car? I want to go inside with you Jasper."

"Alice." I say her name very carefully, and I give her a very serious look. I want her to realize that I do not have the time to play this game with her. She's not going to come in with me even if she whines and pushes her lips out in an attractive pout. "You're not coming in. I'm just going to make sure Jane gets in safely and that everyone is cool. Then we'll leave."

I do not believe a single word that I have just said to her. I know that I'm not going to go in and come right back out. I don't think Alice believes this either because she has a very sceptical expression on her face. I think that it is nice that she wants to make sure I will be okay, but even if she does come in what could she do if my father jumped on me? She would only most likely end up getting herself hurt trying t help me and I do not want that on my conscience.

"Say goodbye to Alice." I tell Jane patiently. Jane flashes her hesitant blue eyes up to me for a second, and then she gives Alice a sad smile. My heart clenches just a little. I want nothing more than to take Jane away from here and keep her with me forever, but I know that I cannot do that.

"Goodbye Alice. I had a lot of fun. Thanks again."

"You're welcome." Alice wraps her arms around my sister's frame. "Be safe. Have a good night. I'll make sure Jazz comes back to pick you up again sometime this weekend. Okay?"

Jane nods her head. "Okay." She looks up at me again and smiles brightly. "You don't have to marry Bella anymore Jasper."

"Oh yeah?" I ask playfully. I glance at Alice who has a small smile tugging at the corners of her lips. "Why is that Jane?"

"Because Alice is a much better choice for you."

"I thought you loved Bella though Jane."

"Oh, but I do love Bella. I absolutely adore her." My sister clarifies this easily and she slowly nods her blonde little head. "But I love Alice just a little bit more."

The two of them end up talking for about ten more minutes before I actually convince them that it is time for Jane to in the house. If I would have known the two of them would hit it off so well I would have let them become acquainted a long time ago.

I know that Jane doesn't have many girl friends her age, and even though Alice is a little bit older than her it would make me feel better to know that my sister had someone else there for her besides me.

I have to hold onto Jane's hand as we take a leisurely walk up the driveway because she is dreading going back home. I know this only must mean one thing and that is that she was being given the same kind of treatment that had been given to me when I was living there.

The walk from the car to the front porch should have taken us less than a minute, but it actually takes us a couple of minutes to make it to the front door.

"You have your door key?" I ask curiously.

Jane shakes her head at me. "It's always open." She says with an acute wryness. She reaches forward and turns the door knob in her hands. The door pushes in with a deafening creak. In the living room sits my mother on the couch with my father beside her. They are both watching television, but my mother's sniffling is kind of drowning out the sound of the show they are looking at.

I immediately see that she has a fresh pink bruise under her left eye. Jane's little fingers start to squeeze my hand even tighter. I look down at her. I will not leave her if I know that she is in danger.

"Jasper." My mother says with a warm smile.

I didn't get a chance to stop in and say hello to her earlier, but that was because I hadn't wanted to. I have no doubts that my mother loves her children but I also have no doubts that she loves her children's abusive father even more; and that's just sickening to me. If she would have had the strength to leave him a long time ago Jane could have had a happy life. The baby in her stomach could have had a happy life...I could have had a happy life.

"How are you baby boy?" Her voice is weakened from the crying that she'd been doing before we walked into the door. "I've missed you. You're just so handsome."

I manage a tight-lipped smile. I won't pretend that I don't hate her. She doesn't pretend that she doesn't love him more than she loves us.

"I'm fine." I say casually. I look at my father. I look just like him. I don't want to be like him. "I'm living."

"Jane." My father says slowly. He has a bottle of whiskey in his right hand. That is his favourite drink. It always has been and it always will be. Nothing ever changes when it comes to him. "Who told you that you could leave the house today? You didn't feel the need to tell anyone where the hell you were going?"

Jane opens her mouth. She looks hesitant and unsure. I beat her to speaking.

"She was with me." I clarified, trying to keep myself from becoming defensive. He had no right to instill fear inside of my sister. She should be able to live in a household without having to dread coming back home whenever she got away from the house. "I took her to eat dinner at Esme Cullen's house."

"And who the fuck said that you could just waltz on in here like you ran shit and take her away without telling anyone?"

"I didn't think it would be a problem." My voice is exceptionally calm. I am not afraid of my father anymore. He cannot do anything to me that he hasn't done before. All wounds heal.

"I just took her to Esme's house for dinner."

"Does it look like I give a fuck where you took her?" My father is irrational. Alcohol makes him get angry very quickly over the most minimal things, and when he is angry the only thing that can come from him is destruction. "I am the man of this fucking house. You can't come in here making decisions like that. This is the same problem that you and I had when you were still living here. You always liked to challenge me."

"No." I shake my head sharply. His tone and expression has done well to evoke the anger out of me that I hide so well. I have nothing but contempt close to my heart when it comes to him. "The only problem we had was the fact that you were a drunk and liked to beat up on your family. You were a coward and lesser of a man that I've ever seen in my entire like. It still looks like we have the same problem now."

My father drops his bottle of whiskey. This is a bad sign. I let go of Jane's hand and she knows what this means. She backs up to somewhere behind me, I do not turn around to see where she has gone because I have to keep my eyes on my impulsive father. I watch him struggle to get onto his feet because he is drunk and his balance is off.

"What did you just say to me boy?" I may have been just a little bit disrespectful with my tone of voice but this man has done absolutely nothing but lose the privellage of earning the respect of a person. I view him as something lower than dirt, something that I want to spit all over.

Why don't you just sit back down honey?" My mother tries to grab his hand, but he rips away from out of her grip in such a dramatic matter that I almost have to bite my tongue to keep from laughing at him. My life reminds me of a television show. It's so entirely fucked up that it's funny.

He glares at my mother, with a threat in his eyes that keeps her from making any other move against him. "Don't fucking touch me."

I remember why I was always so afraid of him. When he was violent it was the single most scariest thing that you'd ever see. He was loud, and brutal, and aggressive.

My father approaches me with a very ominous scowl on his face. "Now, what was that you said?" He is so close to me that I can smell the alcohol on his breath. His intoxication is practically leaking out of his pores.

I shake my head. I do not want to upset my father any further. That is not what I came here to do. I just want to make sure Jane is okay and I want to leave. "I didn't say anything."

"Oh, so now you're scared?" My father flashes me an arrogant smile. Fear is what he thrives on. Knowing that he can instill fear inside of someone else is the only quality that he actually likes about himself. Other than that, he is filled to the brim with an abundance of self-hatred. There is no other reason that I can come up with for the things that he does to other people. "Does the cat got your fucking tongue?"

I do not give my father the pleasure of getting a reaction out of me. I look at him calmly and I do not falter. I want him to know that he does not control me anymore.

"You think you're so tough don't you boy?" I look at my father wryly. From what depths in his mind could he possibly have pulled that assumption from? This is what I mean when I say that my father is irrational. Alcohol has ruined his brain's ability to function correctly. First I am scared and the cat had my tongue. Now I think I'm so tough. The only way he knows how to communicate is in a belligerent manner. I still do not answer him. I know that this is making him upset. "So you're not going to answer me?"

My father has a fucking mental disorder. He shoves me lightly for measure, but I'm not nearly as lanky as I used to be. I don't stumble nearly as much as I would have two years ago. My father frowns and before I can fully regain my balance he shoves me again.

This is what I had to go through when I lived in this house. He was usually always violent for no reason whatsoever. This time I do stumble. I don't intend on hitting him back though, not until he comes rushing towards me. "You think I'm scared of you boy?"

I have no clue where he gets this shit from. He shoves me again and this is when all hell breaks loose.

"Jasper!" I turn to see Alice standing in the doorway with a shocked and worried expression on her face. She's looking between me, Jane, and my father like she wants to jump in the middle of the altercation and sacrifice herself or something. This is exactly what I didn't want. I can't have Alice getting hurt.

"I thought I told you to stay in the c.." I don't get to finish my sentence because my father finally loses all of his self-control and he punches me dead in the face. I don't really know why he's so mad but I'm used to him not having reasons for the things that he does. I'm also used to these kinds of blows. It hurts like a bitch but I do not lose my balance until he pushes me again.

"Jasper!" I vaguely hear Alice's soprano voice.

"Alice no!" And then I vaguely hear Jane's voice.

The next thing I hear is my father. "Get this little bitch off of me!"

I have no sense of what is going on. Alice is trying to restrain my father from hitting me again, Jane is trying to restrain Alice from potentially getting hurt by my lunatic ass father, and my mother is in the background crying for us all to stop like she always does. While I am still down my father manages to push Alice away. I do not think he meant to hurt her but he is aggressive and Alice is so small. His simple push makes her fall to the floor with a loud thud. This is when I really get upset.

I get to my feet with the intentions of beating the shit out of my dad, but Jane jumps in front of him and makes me stop dead in my tracks.

"Go home Jasper!" She yells with a shaky voice. She looks like she's about to start crying at any second now. I am the only one who knows how she feels. "Go! Take Alice and get the hell out of here."

"But..." I look behind her. My dad could get past her if he wanted to and I could easily move her out of the way but Jane is right. I do need to get Alice out of here. I look over to Alice. She is not hurt.

She got right back up to her feet as soon as she went down. She's looking at me with dark blue eyes and she is scared.

"I'll be fine." Jane assures quickly, though I am not unaware that she won't be. It takes everything in me not to call her out on her lie. "Now go. I'll call you later. I promise."

I do not want to leave my sister here with him but I have no choice. If I take her away it would be considered kidnap and I definitely don't have the energy to try to explain this whole ordeal to the police. I remember a while back when I'd tried to tell someone what was happening in my household. They told me that I was just in need of some attention and that my father was a great man.

They only see what they want to see.

"Come on Alice." I hold out my hand to her. She rushes over to me and her tiny fingers wrap around mine. I can tell that she does not want to leave Jane either, but she knows we have to.

It is only a few minutes later that Alice and I make it back to the car. We drive in silence. My face hurts, my chest hurts, and my mind hurts. Alice drives this time.

"Where are you going?" I finally ask, when I realize that she is not going in the direction towards my home. She gives me quick glance before focusing her attention back on the road ahead of her.

"I'm taking you to my house."

I sit back and don't really say anything. I don't know what to say. All I can really think about is Jane and what's probably going on in that house right now.

Twenty minutes of silence passes before Alice and I pull up to her house. Her parents work late on weekdays. No one is home at the moment. She parks the car in the driveway, and we both just kind of sit there.

"I told you to stay in the car." I say quietly. I don't look at her. I can't look at her. There is something inside of me that has cracked, and all of my emotions will leak from out of that crack if I make any sudden movements. I am just on the verge of breaking down completely. "Why didn't you listen?"

"If I would have stayed in the car you would have gotten a lot worse than a bruised face."

"You could have gotten hurt." My voice cracks a little bit. I am an emotional person inside, but I am usually able to keep that part of me locked down pretty tightly. It's only when I get really overwhelmed when I cannot keep my feelings at bay. "What would I have done if you would have gotten hurt?"

"Blamed yourself." Alice says knowingly. Her voice is soft and patient. "Even though it wouldn't have been your fault."

"It's always my fault Alice!" I can feel my eyes beginning to sting. I hate being weak. I hate showing this side of me. I look down in my lap. Alice reaches over to me. She lifts my face so that I am looking into her eyes.

"It's not your fault Jasper. No one blames you." I am not surprised by the emotion in her voice. Alice has pure feelings for me. I can see it in the way that she is looking at me now. I can see it when she smiles at me, and I can see it when she begins to lean towards me.

I've kissed a lot of girls. I know that it's not a big thing but this could mean something more to Alice than it means to me. In my emotionally unstable state I can't control myself. Alice presses her lips to mines gently. Her mouth is warm and nice on mines.

She's not as experienced in kissing as I am and this is why her lips are so timid against mine. I decide to take control of the kiss. This is the same thing I had to do on Friday night. I wrap my arms around her tiny frame and pull her over the arm rest so that she can straddle my lap. Her arms go around my neck and into my hair, and she opens her mouth up to me which allows me to deepen the kiss.

When she feels my tongue against hers she moans into my mouth and pushes her ass down onto my crotch. By this time I am already impossibly hard. She starts moving her hips on top of me. While the friction feels good it's still not enough and I don't want to have sex with her if it's only going to complicate things more.

"Alice." I pull away from her mouth and grip her hips to stop her movements. Her lips are swollen from my kisses and her eyes are hooded with lust. I have to resist the urge of ripping her clothes off and ravishing her on the spot. I care enough not to put her through this again. "What are we doing? We just talked about this."

"I don't want you to be my boyfriend." She says this seriously. "Just tell me right now that you don't feel anything. If you don't feel anything at all I'll leave you alone Jasper."

"What I feel?" I shake my head. My blond hair falls into my eyes. "It's not enough...I just can't commit to something like being a boyfriend."

"I'm not asking you to Jasper." Alice's voice is assuring. There is a small smile on her face. She leans forward and kisses me again.

"Then what are you asking?" My eyebrows raise with my question. Alice is asking more than I can handle.

"For you to take a step. Just a baby step...stay the night with me." Her words have multiple meanings to them. If I stay with her tonight this is will be the first step I take. If I stay this is like me admitting that I know there is potential somewhere.

I am terrified. I do not want to be my father one day. My resolve is not going to waver in a day. I'm not going to be her boyfriend next week or even next month. If she wants to get something out of me she is going to have to be patient.

"Stay the night." She says again. Her voice has gotten quieter, but her tone is just as patient.

I nod my head.

I am terrified.

I will take this step.

I am terrified.

I will stay the night.


	11. Rosalie and James

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><p><strong>ROSE POV<strong>

"Have you heard from Jasper?" This is the first question I am asked when I walk into the little group the boys have formed by the cafeteria. We've all just arrived at school but we seem to be missing a few key components of our triage of friends. They all look at me with a curious expectantcy but they do not appear to be too concerned with what seems to be Jasper's absence so I infer that this is not a very serious matter.

I shake my head wryly. The last time I saw Jasper was last night when we were at dinner. I texted him last night before bed to remind him of the history project that we had to present today but nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he did not reply. "Nope, not since last night. Has he gone M. I. A. or something?"

"He didn't come home after he dropped Jane off." James says in a very indifferent like manner. He shrugs his shoulders and smiles easily. James's total lack of interest comes from the fact that his eyes are tinged a dark red. I am glad to see that marijuana is his chosen drug for the morning. "Maybe he got kidnapped and is getting raped by drunken hobos as we speak."

"Who's getting raped?" Bella's soft voice comes into the vicinity as she enters the conversation. She does not look at me and I know she does this intentionally. She is obviously still upset about me calling her a jealous bitch. I wouldn't have called her out of her name if she hadn't given me a reason to. I do not like people with nasty attitudes and I will not hesistate to put someone in their place if they do not come to me correctly.

"Jazz." Emmett answers. He has a large grin stretching across his face.

Bella frowns at him, she takes everything more seriously that it actually needs to be. I can see a worry on her face that is lacking in everyone elses. "He didn't come home last night or something?"

We all answer her with the silence of a head shake.

"Isn't anyone just a little bit worried about him? He could have gotten hurt. His dad could have beaten him up or something."

I guess Bella makes a little bit of sense but none of us are doubting that Jasper will show up some time today completely unscathed. There can't be anything horribly wrong with Jasper. If something had happened we would have all heard about it by now.

"Bella come on." Emmett says wryly, his gaze cuts to hers freely. "Staying out all night is common behaviour."

"Yeah." Bella agrees, nodding her head as she pulls her cell phone out of her coat pocket. "Its normal behaviour for James to disappear from time to time, but Jasper usually doesn't. Did anyone try his cell yet?"

The boys mumble a quiet yes and continue to assure Bella that she is just over-reacting like she always does. I am about to tell Bella to stop being a fucking drama-queen and then I see Jasper walking down the hall with Alice. I am lost for words.

"What the hell?" Bella shoves her phone back into the confines of her pocket and narrows her eyes.

"What's up?" Jasper asks as he and Alice slide into the group. I immediately notice that the left side of his face is swollen and blotchy with bruises. The first thing that comes to my mind is that he got into a fight with his father. I also see that he has a montage of dark hickeys scattered across his neck. The next thing that comes to my mind is Alice. We just all kind of look at him because now we all know that he didn't come home last night because he was too busy spending it with Alice. It is obvious that the two of them slept together. In fact, they probably just got done having a morning quickie. They are both smiling way too hard for seven in the morning and Jasper is usually not a morning person.

"You were with Alice last night." Bella says this in a way that makes it impossible to determine whether she meant it as a question or a statement. I think that she means it to be an accusation. She's looking like Jasper killed her puppy or something.

Shit is about to get real...

Jasper smiles at her easily. There is nothing of remorse inside of his eyes. He does not feel bad because Bella wants him to. Jasper does whatever his heart desires and I guess his heart desired Alice. I just hope that this time he desired more than just her body. "Are you jealous Bella?"

"No." Bella says quickly. Her pretty brown eyes are hard. She has always been a very shitty liar. We have no problem at all detecting the obvious envy inside her voice. Steam is practically exiting from out of her ears.

"Then why do you care?" Jasper challenges mildly. He isn't being an asshole. He just likes working Bella up to get a reaction out of her. She makes it way too easy for him.

"Because!" She practically screams this. People in the hall are starting to direct their attention onto us. It's way too early in the morning to be dealing with Bella's temper tantrums.

"Because what Bella?"

"Because I do." She huffs and crosses her arms over her chest.

"Good." Jasper says lightly. He pulls Bella into an affectionate hug and chuckles. "Because I was just fucking with you, Bella. You know that I fucking love you."

"No, I don't." She pulls away from him wryly. Her brown eyes flicker over to Alice and the two of them stare at each other. They are not quite glaring at each other but they aren't giving each other friendly expressions either. I see that I am not the only person that Bella isn't on friendly terms with. "The lines are getting blurred. I'm starting to get confused about everything now. What the fuck happened?"

I agree with Bella because I am confused as well. I don't know what happened this year that made everything change. We've never gotten mad at each other for so long before and we've certainly never talked about each other behind their backs as much as we do now. We used to be one big happy family, but now we're just another group of fake ass friends who secretly hate each other.

The first warning bell rings and we all flit off to our respective classes. Bella, James, and I all share our first hour class together. When we take our seats James makes sure that he is in the middle. He is the barrier between Bella and I that didn't used to be there, but there needs to be something between Bella and I now because for some reason we always end up getting into heated arguments whenever we are around each other.

"So, what's up with Jasper and Ally-cat?" James asks with an amused smirk on his face. He looks at me because he knows that lately Alice has been closer with me than Bella. He thinks that she would have most likely told me of her plans with Jasper but she really hasn't. I do not let myself feel offended by her reluctance in telling me. She must have had her reasons for keeping quiet.

"I don't know James. She told me that she liked Jasper and that is all. She didn't tell me that she was going to try and get together with him though. In fact, after the party she said that she wasn't going to have anything to do with him."

"Well, she certainly changed her mind huh?"

"That's for damn sure." Bella mutters wryly. I can tell from the tone of her voice that she is still upset, and when I see her smile snidely I know that she is about to say something bitchy. "Alice is going to look so stupid. Jasper is a prick and he has always been a prick. Does she actually think that he is going to buckle down and be in a relationship with her so easily?"

"Maybe he will change for her." I look past James so that I can see Bella. Her face is red in her refusal to accept that Jasper might actually be gaining some feelings for Alice. "Just because all he wanted to do with you was fuck does not mean that Alice is limited to the same treatment."

I throw that last piece in there just to spite her. I know that it has to cut through that bitchy exterior somehow.

Bella's brown orbs widen when she takes in the content of my words. I find the disbelief in her expression amusing. She never expects for herself to be on the end where her feelings are getting hurt but she would gladly force another person onto that end. Bella is the meanest person that I have ever had the displeasure of meeting. I wonder to myself why I am just now noticing this.

"I guess I'll give it two weeks." James says smiling, he doesn't have the same kind of confidence in them that I do. "But they certainly won't last that long."

I am about to say something to defend Alice and Jasper. I know that Bella doesn't have confidence in them because she doesn't want them to succeed and I know that James is doubtful because he thinks this all is a joke. I want Alice and Jasper to prove them wrong. Not so I can rub it in Bella's face, but because I actually want to see my friends happy. I know it won't happen in a day. Alice will probably run herself ragged trying to tie Jasper down, and she might not even be the person that he is looking to settle down with but if she turns out to be that girl then so be it.

I don't get a chance to respond though because our teacher walks to our desks and starts passing back our unit tests from last week. I look at my grade and sigh. I have a seventy-nine percent. I am not happy with the grade but at least I didn't totally tank like James.

"Fuck." He mumbles. He glares at the big red "F" on his paper like it's magically going to change into an "A" if he stares at it long enough. "This really fucking sucks."

"Maybe if you stop coming to class high you could actually concentrate." James shoots Bella a droll look but he chuckles anyway. Bella has always been an exceptional student. I am not surprised that she has passed the test with flying colors.

"Math sucks." James pushes his paper off of the desk and steps on it. He can be as big of a drama queen as Bella sometimes. I chuckle quietly to myself. My cousin really is something else.

"Yes." Bella nods her head, I am at least glad to see that she is not ridiculing him for failing the test. It would probably hurt him a lot more than he would ever show. He already feels like a failure and his parents never let him forget the fact that he has done nothing but disappoint them his entirely life. "But math is very necessary to know James. You're definitely coming over my house today."

"Um...why?" He asks amusingly. His blue eyes are squinted from his early morning high. James doesn't take any of this shit seriously and one day he is going to regret being so nonchalant about everything. "If you are inviting me over for sex let me know now so I can cancel my plans with that Victoria Nomad chick."

Bella rolls her doe eyes at him, James is only a big brother to her. Bella is only a little sister to James. He wouldn't actually go that far with her. I think he's smarter than that. "Sorry buddy but you are not getting lucky tonight. You're coming over because I'm going to tutor you. This is your last year. There is no way I'm going to let you stop yourself from graduating because you failed trig...again."

"Oh?" James raises his eyebrows. The last thing he probably wants to do with Bella is study, but I know that he doesn't want to be held back either. That wold just give his parents an excuse to make him feel even more like a piece of shit. "Okay fine...I'll come over at four. I should be done fucking Victoria by then."

"James you're so crude." Bella says with an eye roll but this is true. James has always been disturbingly vulgar and obscene.

"Yeah." He agrees shrugging his shoulders, his carefree mask is hard to see through. I wonder what he is actually feeling inside. "But you still love me though."

This is also true. James is probably the most loved out of us all. People always seem to like him because he is the realest person you will ever have the pleasure of meeting. He doesn't talk about people behind their backs because he is the kind of person who wants to say shit in people's faces. He isn't fake. Once he makes a friend he is always loyal to them no matter what. He doesn't lie. He isn't afraid to tell people how he feels and this is one of the reasons I respect him so much.

My first two periods pass by me on average notes. I am extremely happy to be escaping the boredom of class when lunch time finally rolls around. On my way to the cafeteria I spot Edward in the hallway with his back turned. He is digging through his mess of a locker, probably looking for some lost homework or something.

I have had an abundance of thoughts swarming inside of my head when it came down to establishing everything that has happened between Edward and I lately. I know that I am in love with him and I know that he loves me in at least some sort of way. That is basically all I am absolutely sure of at this point. At times I feel an uncertainty when I question the extent of Edward's feelings for me. I feel like he is the one for me. Everything about him is perfection inside of my eyes and I accept him for everything that he is. There is an insecurity inside of me that grows more profound when I ponder whether or not Edward has decided if I am the one for him. I would hate him if he broke my heart to pieces.

But I cannot quite get over the suspicion that he is holding something back from me, and the way that he was acting last night really kept me wondering. I went home and I called him twice but he did not answer his phone. I understand that Edward is the kind of person who needs time to himself but it hurt my feelings a little to know that he could not answer my phone call to talk for just a few seconds.

I have not decided if I wanted to talk to him about it or not. He did not seem to have an interest in discussing anything with me yet and I did not want to make him uncomfortable by pressing an issue that may not even be an issue to begin with.

"Hey." I say, upon my approach. My voice is careful. My expression is practiced and calm when he turns around to face me. "How are you?"

There is a look on Edward's face that is quite unfathomable. It is almost as if he wants to tell me something. I lean forward to place a chaste kiss on his lips, so that I do not have to see the expressions that have been so confusing to me lately.

"I am good. Thanks for asking." He replies, after I pull away from him. I look up at him and can tell that something is going through his head. He seems way too out of focus. I am dying with curiosity to know what he us thinking about. "What about you?"

I shake my head, trying to shake away the nerves that are still spreading throughout my body. "I don't know Edward."

"Is something wrong?" He asks quietly, peering down at me from beneath thick lashes. He is so handsome, I reach out and touch his face; trying not to notice the way that he does not lean into my touch as much. "Is there something that you want to talk about?"

"You tell me." I say, pushing his hair out of his eyes. Trying to get at least some sort of reaction out of him. Doubt and pessimism is ruining my mood for the day. "I feel like there is something that is on your mind. You can tell me anything you know."

"I...I do have something that I need to say." He confesses with a hesitance that turns my stomach into knots. I am about to burst from the anxiety that my anticipation brings me. I am expecting the worse case scenario.

"Just tell me Edward. Please."

He hesistates even more, making his gaze dart away from my own. He refuses to look at me when I need him to the most. This is one of the first times that I have witnessed the cowardice inside of this boy. I can feel my eyes beginning to water from some news that I haven't even recieved yet. I can not fool myself into believing that his words won't be devestating. Everything seemed perfect just a couple of days ago.

"I...I..."

"Man, I'm getting sick of all this sappy romance shit." Jacob cuts Edward's sentence short with the intrusion of his boyish voice, he has just walked upon a situation that he is definitely not invited to and he doesn't even know it. "Are you two too busy confessing your undying love for each other that you can't have lunch in the cafeteria like everybody else?"

I offer him a smile. It feels oddly misplaced on my face. "We were just on our way Jake."

"Well, come on." He loops his arm throughout mine in an innocent gesture. He does not know that he completely ruined the conversation between Edward and I. "Let me show you how a beautiful lady is to be escorted to fine dining."

I look behind me as I am being pulled along, towards a place that I would rather not be at the moment. This the last time I see the look on Edward's face before I am being tugged inside of the over-populated cafeteria.

There is something very evident to me.

Something has changed between Edward and I.

And the thought of that scares me shitless...

**JAMES POV **

While most attractive girls can be described with the adjective pretty or hot; Victoria Nomad is a what you would call beautiful. She has long cascading hair that falls to her waist in the color of fiery-red tresses, piercing blue eyes that almost completely mimic the color of the ocean at night, and her body is so perfect that it looks like it could have been sculpted by a famous artist.

It is a shame that all of the ridiculous beauty that she's lucky enough to harbor just goes to waste. I am sad to say that she is like me in more than one way. Destruction is the only thing that she has ever known in life, and she was taught at a very young age that she would never amount to anything. She doesn't get the love and attention that any young girl deserves from their parents so she uses her body to lure in the type of boys that make her feel wanted in the worst of ways. She was given the impression that the only thing she was good for was laying on her back and allowing anyone with a compliment to intrude her sanctuary. People use her to bask in the type of pleasure that only a desolate can provide.

I am not an exception to that rule. I take what I can get and I knew exactly what I could get from Victoria.

"You totally fucked her didn't you?" Bella asks in a flat tone, looking up briefly from the text book that she is surveying to give me a dull look. It matches perfectly with the dullness of her tone.

I feel a small smile tugging onto my lips. I look at Bella with sincerity. I am not the pig that she thinks I am. "No, I didn't."

"You didn't?" Bella repeats incredulously, the shock on her face alerts me of just how purely she sees my character. I like to know the nature of what people think of me. "Well, what the fuck did you do with her for two hours?"

I lean back into the softness of the futon that we are sitting on. We are inside of Bella's bedroom and her parents are nowhere to be found. Bella and Victoria are more alike than the two of them will ever know.

"I let her cry on my shoulder and then I wiped her tears away."

Bella's eyes widen almost to the point of amusement. I have to wonder exactly why she is so surprised that I did not take advantage of Victoria or that I allowed her to use me as journal. She could tell me all of her secrets and I would not tell. She could tell me all of her insecurities and I would not judge her. She could tell me all of her fears and I would not call her a coward. I would write all of her words down in my head to store for safe-keeping.

'I thought your whole motive for meeting her after school was to get it in?" Isabella Marie Swan shakes her pretty, little head. "Was she not down to fuck or something?"

"No Bella, you misunderstand." I say quietly, looking down at my hands. I can feel my high wearing off just a little and a crack in my demeanor allows a few toxic thoughts to enter my head. I will have to make an up an excuse to see myself to the bathroom soon. I have to schedule an impromptu meeting with the worst of my best friends before my thoughts start to get dangerous. Bella's selfish ass is definitely not the person that I want to let my guards down around. "I was the one who was not down to fuck. She started to undress in the back seat of her car and I told her to stop."

"I still don't understand why." Bella admits, failing to grasp the point that I have not tried to get across.

"I told her to stop because no one else never did." I look at Bella but do not will her to understand if she cannot. "I told her to stop because she was way too beautiful and I was not going to take part in diminishing that beauty."

"And then she started to cry?" Bella inquires quietly, softening her eyes. I like this look this look on Bella. She is just as beautiful as Victoria when she is not trying so hard to be tough.

I answer her question with the silence of a nod.

"Wow James, you probably turned her entire life upside down."

I don't want to be an asshole but I am curious to know. Bella must be aware of the fact that I know about what is going on between her and Edward. "Does Edward turn your entire life upside down Bella?"

She takes a moment of silence to consider what I just said, looking at me to perhaps figure out what my motive may have been. "Edward spins my world in a circle James. He is everything that I have ever known of happiness. I have truly never felt this way about someone before."

This is some heavy fucking shit...

"What if Rosalie feels the exact same way?"

"I've never actually thought of it like that." Bella admits, cocking her head to the side to look at me with a new found thoughtfulness. "I can't believe that I didn't even take that into consideration."

"You never thought of anyone but yourself Bella." Bella frowns at me but she knows that it is true. I do not have to be a mind reader to know that Bella never once considered anyone else's feelings before her own when she engaged in this affair with Edward. She didn't even consider Edward's feelings and she claims to love him so much.

"I did think of..."

"No, you didn't Bella." I cut her sentence short. I do not want to listen to the bullshit that she feeds everyone else so heavily. This girl needs to hear the truth and she needs to hear it from someone who actually cares about her. "Do you even know how Edward feels about all of this Bella? He fucking loves you. That much is pretty obvious but he really did care about Rosalie too. He was probably even starting to develop serious feelings for her."

The glare that she wears for me does nothing to intimidate the words from leaving my lips.

"But now you've put him in this predicament where he has to choose between the two of you when it's always been obvious that you were his first choice. Keep in mind that he doesn't want to hurt anyone with his actions but you have forced him into a spot where it's inevitable. Either way it goes Edward is going to be branded the bad guy and someone is going to end up with a broken heart."

"Fuck you." Bella snaps bitterly. She's looking down at her hands with a nasty scowl on her face. She's pissed at me but only because she knows what I said is true. "You're just like the rest of them. You secretly hate me too don't you?" "

"No, I'm not like them Bella. Rosalie would already know what's been going on behind her back the second I realized what was happening...if I was anything like them." My eyes meet Bella's in an understanding, she should be grateful that I am not like the rest of them. "When she does find out and everyone starts hating you even more I will still be here."

I definitely do not condone anything that has happened within this group in the past few weeks, but I do not put all of the blame on Edward and Bella either. In fact, I think that maybe it was kind of all of our faults that things had to happen this way.

I probably should have never made that bet with Jasper all of those years ago. The only reason that I even told him that he would never be able to seduce Bella is because I knew that he would succeed all along and I thought that it would all turn out to be one big joke, it does not escape my conscience that Jasper would have noticed Alice's feelings a lot sooner if he hadn't been so concentrated on a girl whose heart already belonged to someone else.

If Jasper would have never actually succeeded in fucking Bella, Edward would have had the courage to make a move on her. We all knew that Edward liked Bella. He had a crush on that girl since before they started kindergarten together but he never got his turn and he just wasn't the type of person to compete over a girl.

If Edward wouldn't have ever been reduced to choosing Rosalie as a second option she probably wouldn't have overlooked the fact that Emmett's feelings for her went way past the valley of friendship.

Edward would be with Bella, Emmett would be with Rosalie, Jasper would be with Alice, and Jacob wouldn't have to sit around in misery while he hoped that Bella might stop just seeing him as a friend.

We fucked up a long, long time ago...

"Maybe we should get started on the math." Bella says quietly. Her expression still looks thoughtful and I am glad that I have given her something to think about. Although, it doesn't really matter all that much. She has Edward's attention straying far away from Rosalie and the focus is back on her. This is what she wanted.

But things are already bad enough. Selfishness can only make it worse.

* * *

><p><strong>As just a heads up we wanted to let everyone who has read this story before we went back to edit it know, some of the content in the chapters will have changed. <strong>

**Over time and contemplation we have changed somewhat of the plot because we felt that the story was moving along too quickly and without the needed details. **

**We've done our best to slow the story down and expand the plot.**

** Thank you for understanding. **

**If anything gets confusing feel free to ask us any questions.**


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